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Opinions please!!!!!!!!!!!!

mndblwn's picture

Submitted by mndblwn on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:03pm

DH does't have the best grammer or spelling. He communicates everything dealing with his ex to me and askes my help to respond to her roller coaster emails and texts. Shall I continue to be the one doing this because I'm better with my words?

Next shall I go on skid exchange to prevent BM pulling any crap over on DH? He doesn't really have a confrontation bone in his body. This meaning she can manipulate him like she always has until I came around.

Next since she has been nothing but a c**t since I came around shall I even try to be nice to her and get along in mutual places for skid?

Next how can I get over thinking about her nonsense all the time and being in love with MY husband? This is the biggest one because we want to start family together but she is nuttier than a payday bar.

She has really taken a toll on me and my brain. I try to keep one step ahead to be prepard.

ANY and ALL opinions please!!!!!!!!!!!

Comments

reluctantgma's picture

Submitted by reluctantgma on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:17pm

I've probably taken responsibility for any number of my bf's tasks that he 'just couldn't handle,' (bring out the world's tiniest violins!) just like you are with your DH. I wouldn't do it again.

Why is someone who has NOTHING to do with you taking your life away? Because your DH has left the door wide open for that to happen. Is that how you wish to spend the rest of your life with HIM? Take your life back and refuse to be a part of those BM/skid messes you didn't create!

marty15's picture

Submitted by marty15 on Tue, 08/23/2011 - 7:19pm

I too have a "non-confrontational" DH and BM manipulated/ran him before I came along too. And I too was involved in email exchanges... not because of poor spelling or grammar but honestly, more so that I could make sure he wasn't being getting manipulated by her during times of high conflict or legal wranglings.
This level of involvement eventually drove me crazy and I have finally withdrawn from it. I have to trust that DH knows enough by now to not let her get over on him. (I sometimes ask what was said, in general, but don't get involved in front of the computer or anything).

And who cares if your DH's emails to her aren't grammatically correct or spelled correctly (there's always spell check too). You guys don't need to be impressing BM with great grammar and spelling, right?

As far as getting along with her, I would say whatever feels right to you. If you feel like you can be nice, etc. and you want to, then do. If not, then just don't deal with her. Maybe that's not good advice but that's what I go by. (I don't feel like being nice... AT ALL and for good reason).

p.s. You should encourage DH to not respond to any crazy/roller coaster emails or texts. I do this with my own ExH. If the email has nothing concrete to logically respond to, I totally ignore it. If it's sane and needs a reply, then I do. If it's part crazy and part okay, I respond to the pertinent parts of his email and ignore the rest. I think he is finally catching that I WILL NOT respond to anything not strictly business.