Trolls / StepTalk Bullies

Why do you suppose that posters like SMOKIA are able to bully people who sincerely need help and come to this site to vent..........

AND ALL THE ADMINS DO IS KICK OFF LONG TERM (helpful) MEMBERS???

I'm sure I will be next...

skylarksms's blog
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I hope you are not. I don't

I hope you are not. I don't think calling people out should be a means for having your account removed. I've seen this happen to three people I used to talk to on here.

Who got kicked off? What did I miss? I do know that there are a couple of people on here recently who I strongly suspect are reincarnations of people who have caused trouble and been kicked off in the past who are back with new names, but the same old crappy attitudes and piss poor communication skills.

I just try my best to ignore and not take the bait.

Oi Vey says Sourgirl called

Oi Vey says Sourgirl called her a troll and was kicked off. I didn't see any of it though-

Sourgirl got kicked off for

Sourgirl got kicked off for something...I dunno what...
She came back momentarily as "ridiculous" and was bitching. When I asked if she was the poster who called someone a name and told them to shut the f up, she responded to me with, "f*ck you, troll!"
I was just trying to figure out why she got booted. She said she had been warned about name calling before, and I think she called admin a f'n c, so maybe she is the one who got her IP blocked.
I truly don't know. All speculation.

Anyway, she called me a troll AFTER she got kicked off. Just wanted to clarify that.

And I don't understand the point of this blog. It just keeps the bitching about the site at the forefront. I feel like, if you don't like it, leave.

Agree. I recently came back,

Agree. I recently came back, but am using the same user name I always used.

Some of the posts I'm reading, all be it usernames that I don't remember from before - their mannerisms on baiting and what there advice always is, seems like people who were here before.

And they do it in such a passive aggressive way that you just wish there was a SLAP button on here.

"slap button" LOL

I just find it a shame that

I just find it a shame that people who have been helpful and have been on here for a long time are booted because of some "newbie" pot stirrer.

Again, its why I try hard to ignore those people. You get caught up in their nonsense and then YOU are the one to lose your account.

Look, I've been called a

Look, I've been called a troll by some until I earned my dues with them I guess, even though I never was. I will agree there have been times i came across as conceited and all knowing however

I also suspect of quite a few trolls myself. Including re-incarnating posters with several handle names with overly scandalous stories- and have since reported it and have not heard the outcome yet.

I think the nature of this board lends itself to a lot of trolling...I posted a link on one of my blogs not long ago that was EXCELLENT in helping to identify this and yet we all get suckered in.

There's been a lot of complaints by various posters on this issue-I wish there was a way for Admins to notify us of any wrongdoing if anything is caught for our own validation and safety. I also wish we had an ignore button for those that make it through.

II'm editing...but really sometimes we address the issues and don't hear the outcome.

Overit, you probably don't

Overit, you probably don't realize it but you have changed your posting style from the "earlier days" and are better contributor because of it, IMHO.

It's easier for a person to listen to someone else's dissenting opinion if it is expressed in a manner that is not so "In Your Face."

Not saying that you did that...I was thinking more of another poster who was actually advertising her website and counseling services in disguise of posting on this site.

There are better ways to go

There are better ways to go about addressing this than posting it as a blog & in the forums. These types of blogs stir the pot & get too many members involved.

Dawn has posted before that the way to address it is with her directly, through PM.

This way doesn't work any

This way doesn't work any better.

I'm not asking for ANY way to

I'm not asking for ANY way to "WORK."

I just posting my feelings and thoughts.

And I don't understand the

And I don't understand the point of this blog. It just keeps the bitching about the site at the forefront. I feel like, if you don't like it, leave
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I agree. I guarantee that if people did not respond to SMOKIA, she would fade. But I am starting to think that some people really hope to see her respond so they can argue with her. Over and over and over.

I personally am not ok with

I personally am not ok with standing by and watching someone bully someone else into the ground just because they can, especially new people. I think it's disgusting, not to mention harmful, for someone to come here for help and be belittled and told they are dysfunctional and abusive. If certain posters are ganging up and going at a new poster, or someone who truly needs help, I have an opinion too and I am going to say it. Not saying anything and letting certain posters run roughshod over others isn't working either. Do you see them going anywhere?

I've felt bullied by you in

I've felt bullied by you in one comment. I think most posters on here "bully" others, disgree with what they say in rather unkind terms, etc.

I guess I figure it's not up to you (or me) to set everything straight. There's a boss on this site, and it ain't any of us

I am sorry you have felt

I am sorry you have felt bullied. I can't imagine what I said, you certainly seem more than capable of holding your own. In that same vein, you have also done your share of bullying from what I have seen, so glass houses and all that. I don't plan on setting everyone straight, and I know I am by no means the worst offender on that score. I will, however, state my case on how I feel even if it goes against what the armchair psychologists are saying, and not be quiet simply because I hope they will "go away."

I agree Some of the "old

I agree

Some of the "old folks" jumped on me a few months ago because I said I understood a BM not wanting to miss out on her child's first trip to Disney. The attacks were so crazy that I went and took another look at the FAQ/Posting guidelines.

If it's ok for a newbie to attack/bully, the same should apply to the long term memebers.

I remember that thread and

I remember that thread and believe I commented on it (or maybe didn't b/c what I would have said had already been said ad nauseum). I think in cases like that, we all look at the situation through self-tinted glasses. You, as a BM, have the means to make something like what you suggested happen (take the child preemptively and go all out). I seem to recall empathizing w/ the OP of the thread in that her SK's BM didn't and wouldn't indefinitely, and so was forcing the kid to go without. I don't think people were jumping on you, per se, but rather didn't understand your logic b/c the OP's situation and what you were describing were incongruous.

Yeah, that was the one. I

Yeah, that was the one.

I was called a jealous BM. One poster even decided I was a man.:jawdrop: As a matter of fact, she continued to do it on other threads until I had enough and pushed back. Now we just ignore each other. (or maybe she got the boot as well IDK) There were a bunch of other names and insults tossed around. I ignored them all and stuck to the point.

All of that because I'm new and didn't jump on the hate BM bandwagon.

I wasn't attacking the OP, just saying I get how the BM feels (not condoning what she wanted - I think she wanted dad to go WITHOUT SM) and that I wouldn't want to miss out on my child's first trip to Disney.

Nothing I posted justified the names and attacks that came my way.

My point is, it isn't just new folks. Yet they seem to be the ones everyone wants to call out.

I remember that you said that

I remember that you said that you would go out of your way to ruin the trip so that you could take your kid to Disney first.

That IS jealous BM behavior. Unfortunately splitting up means some people have to miss some firsts.

It was NOT because you were new OR because you don't hate the mum of your skids--It is because of what you said. It is because that attitude is putting yourself ahead of the kids.

I never said I would ruin

I never said I would ruin their trip. I did say I would do a big trip ~ going all out which is something I've always done with my son on each of our trips to disney.

If BD and SM plan a trip in say Nov, what is wrong with BM doing a trip in August? Disney isn't a once in a lifetime thing. Plenty of people go yearly. Heck some go several times a year.

Oh, I also said, we won't take the youngest SDs to Disney until after their mom takes them. I know she wants to take them, so why should I rush to beat her to it?

I was also attacked (and DF insulted) because I canceled our cruise to Hawaii for next year so that DF can be here for his daughter's birthday. Why? For not jumping in with the SK/BM are evil crowd.

disneyfan I did not see that

disneyfan I did not see that thread. But I have been back and forth on taking my skids to disney for that every reason. I know bm will not take them but then again if it were my kids i would want to be there to experience it with them. It came down to this We are going to take my skids without bm simply b/c I know she will try to ruin it for everyone including her own kids. She complains about EVERY THING. Plus she doesn't like to get out of the house and do much of anything as she is a fat and has a hard time with it plus she complains that her feet hurt and it is b/c dh left her to be a single mom and she had to work at KFC for a yer and it ruined her feet.

So that is why I decided against offering her to go.

ADMIN gets to decide. This

ADMIN gets to decide. This isn't a democracy with free speech as it's 1st Amendement. It's a privately run website that has terms and conditions to be a part of it.

Don't like it. Go somewhere else... is how I see it.

Why is it sad if they've

Why is it sad if they've found a place that suits them better?

It's sad because this site

It's sad because this site has lost some very smart people who have good life experiences that they could use to help others.

And this site has gone downhill.

You say, "If I don't like it, LEAVE."

That is what I have done. I used to post here many times every day. No more.

I don't feel the site has

I don't feel the site has gone downhill. I think different people have different needs. I prefer this site to the one that you & others have gone to because it better suits my needs. I prefer more anonymity & I like knowing that people will feel free to tell me if they feel I'm wrong or suggest that I try something a different way. I like being able to just read & not feel obligated to participate if I choose not to.

If somebody finds a better fit for themselves, why would that be sad? If the environment is more fulfilling for them somewhere else, I'm happy for them for finding that.

You say you have left, but there clearly is something here that the other site doesn't offer. Otherwise, you (& others who've gone there) wouldn't keep coming back.

I agree that there are members to be missed, but that isn't to say that the site can't be great without them. There are always new members joining who are smart & have good life experiences that they help others with as well.

Seniority clause.......I

Seniority clause.......I belong to a legal forum (we've spent a lot of time in and out of court with BM).

So anyway, on this forum, underneath the poster's user name - it says Junior Member, Senior Member, Professional, etc.

You can click on statistics for the poster. Shows how many times people have given their opinions thumbs up or thumbs down - so you can get an overall feel for how that person handles themselves on the forum.

MIGHT BE A GOOD IDEA HERE

That has to be one of the

That has to be one of the most hateful, nasty, bitter bm ladden forums I've ever seen in my life lol-just saying.

OK, just saying - how come

OK, just saying - how come everytime I post anything, you are always just saying?

I mean this with respect, but you have no idea what forum I am on - it isn't even connected to this site, yet you feel you need to "JUST SAY" ....like everybody else.

It's a law site for various law issues, not just BMs laying in wait.

I'm just commenting on the

I'm just commenting on the legal forums i've seen that talk about custodial/divorce/child support issues and so on. It's a pretty well known and big site..pretty sure those are the legal forums SEVERAL of us have had the horrid experience of even looking at.

I'll bet a dollar it's likely we are talkign about the same ones, but who cares....why are you getting upset anyways?

Well, there main focus isn't

Well, there main focus isn't child support/divorce, etc.

I'm getting upset because everything I have said today - someone has responded with a "nuh, uh". I know people will have challenging and opposite opinions, but geesh - every post has someone appearing to try to bait me with passive aggressive know it all comments.

Nothing personal, but starting to get a little leary here.

I think all of us that have

I think all of us that have "stayed" are extremely leary of posters that are coming back under new aliases-w/out identifying who they were. At least me personally. It just seems they all come out of the woodwork around the same time everytime.

I know plenty of posters that 'identify' who they were in some way rather then the secrecy-and come on judging old posters for their situations/actions/behaviors while holding the privacy card. THAT makes some of us leary I would think.

Well, my username is the same

Well, my username is the same as it was before , except I abbreviated 1Life1Chance.

I got jumped the other day for generalizing. Not fair to say someone who left and came back is up to anything. I left for valid reasons and now I'm back for valid reasons.

Big hand waving!!! Hi Foxie.

Big hand waving!!!

Hi Foxie.

I've seen lots of 'em (come and go). We give power to people when they drive us crazy. In the end, we're all crazy then.

I disagree Willow-she is

I disagree Willow-she is bothering numerous posters over and over...it's out of hand now. People are sick of it. Nothing is happening, they are upset and have every right to blog about trolling IMO.

The ones I feel badly for are

The ones I feel badly for are the new members who have their posts/blogs hijacked by these users who belittle the OP. Lord knows how many newbies have been scared off, never to return because of it.

I've done the complaint/PM thing & got no response...just FYI.

.. and might I add, that I

.. and might I add, that I feel sorry for the new people that are coming on here for advice and to vent when they see this fighting and crap... it probably scares people away and I don't think any of us want that... Can't we all just get along?

Can't we all just get along?

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LOL

*FLASHBACKS**....Steperg.

***FLASHBACKS****....Steperg.... ahhhhhhhh ****hiding under desk****.

HAHAHA, you could lick them

HAHAHA, you could lick them off her DH's face!

I remember that post

I remember that post specifically when I was here before. I never understood how a cancer patient could muster up the energy to be like that.

She was outrageous and even sent me PMs that were just outrageous. Reported and reported, finally left.

"hahahahahaha"

Sourgirl is one of my

Sourgirl is one of my favorite posters Admin made a mistake.

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That is one of the few things that I dislike about this site. Posters getting kicked off so quick if they upset someone. And having to watch what you say so you don't get kicked off.

^^^ Like ^^^

It's sad when the cyber

It's sad when the cyber bullies/trolls drive away established and potential members AND get well-liked members banned from the site.

*FLASHBACKS**....Steperg.

***FLASHBACKS****....Steperg.... ahhhhhhhh ****hiding under desk****.

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I actually kind of liked steperg! lol

HAHAHAHA, so did I... I was

HAHAHAHA, so did I... I was just referring to the drama that went on.

I liked her more towards the

I liked her more towards the end, but remember when she first started posting??? Wow, it was crazy then. Gunfight at the Steptalk corral every night-I think she used to tangle with Blended Fam, the one with the rabbit avatar? Not sure....

I thought everyone tango'd

I thought everyone tango'd with Blended at least ONCE.

I vaguely remember that...

I vaguely remember that... the miscarriage part. Some people have no soul, I swear.

That was Lovesthemall - but a

That was Lovesthemall - but a lot of people thought she was Blended Fam under a different alias.

I've only been back a few

I've only been back a few weeks and see that people are scared to post by this.

And doesn't that defeat the purpose? I came back because I need to vent and interact with others who deal with this stuff to.

You can also see how some of us are quickly responding to things somewhat edgy, because you don't know.

I read posts on this site

I read posts on this site almost daily, but I must have completely missed something. I have noticed a lot of new names though. Then again, I glaze over when posts go too far to the right of my screen...

used to tangle with Blended

used to tangle with Blended Fam
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LOL. I was accused of being blended fam a few times!! lol. All because I dare disagree with a long time member.

I don't think I ever thought

I don't think I ever thought that, you aren't mean enough LOL

My first post I asked for

My first post I asked for help for an awkward friend situation.
My second post came off as "know-it-all" and not really helpful in any way, and I acknowledge that.
I have posted my thoughts since then and some have found my posts upsetting, but I don't think I have been rude or a bully in any way. I have been treated less than fairly in a couple of instances, but given that I started off on the wrong foot, I can understand some of that.
I have been accused of being a troll and a BM, and I am neither. I tried to explain where I am coming from, and maybe some can see my angle.
There are very recent developments in our family that may cause me to vent pretty soon, we'll see.

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Trolls / StepTalk Bullies

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