WWYD?
Oh this will be fun. GRRR. When DH and I moved in together we always said that the kids could stay here for their two years of Community college as long as they worked part time also. I hate to say it, but I agreed because I thought that my son was going to go to 2 years of CC and then across state for the next two years. I also I thought SS would try to live with us and work retail for the rest of his life while living at home.
My son graduated a few months ago and he starts CC this month. WELL….In the past few months he has decided on a major that requires 2 years of CC and then 4 years for a specialty degree. (In medical field). The best program is about 20 minutes from where we live. It is a VERY difficult program.
UGH, I know my DH is going to want him to move out when his two years of CC are up. They get along ok, but DH is ready to be empty nesting. So was I, BUT now am back tracking my own self and rules that “I” agreed to wholeheartedly! I feel like a shit either way I push this.
Either I fight with DH about my son staying here or I have to tell my son to get out of the house and try to work, find a place to live and go to this extremely hard program. GRRRR. I know I have more than a year to figure it out, but WWYD?
- Willow2010's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
time for re-negotiation. you
time for re-negotiation. you didn't know he would do so well at the time. i don't see why he should be punished for doing well. he should totally be supported. after all, its a parent's job to make sure their children can support/take care of themselves and he simply raised the bar. now, if step son wants to meet those expectations and do the same thing, the offer stands for him also.
That is kind of a bad thing
That is kind of a bad thing on my part. SS is NOT college material. No way no how. He actually went in the military last month and will be there for 6 years.
Our bargain was that the kids could stay her for two years after graduation as long as they worked or went to college. I knew that SS would not go to college, so that was a great plus for me. I don’t think he would have went in military if DH had not told him that.
So, I feel like I manipulated the situation to make sure SS could not stay after HS, but now backed myself into a corner where my son is concerned.
Ugh, I don’t even know how to bring it up. DH and I have talked about the “empty nest” for so long and longed for it.
poor thing. terrible
poor thing. terrible position to be in. if you don't bring it up, you'll never forgive yourself. you may not be able to forgive yourself if you do bring it up and he says no! i don't know. in this situation i would probably HAVE to side with the kid. could very well turn into a deal breaker for me. it's obvious that had step son shown such ambition, there would never have been a need for a deal to begin with! honesty here. tell your husband the truth. he probably already knows. if he gets so angry as to leave you, HE will regret it one day. YOU will be better off. and so will your son. afterall, the kid will hardly be at home, getting in the way. very independant at that age. and sounds like he'll be very busy! how about having to maintain a certain gpa?
Are you sure your son will
Are you sure your son will want to stay at home when he goes off to college? I know it's close to home, but perhaps your son will want to share an apt with friends or enjoy a place of his own? Maybe he can rent a room or basement apt. from a neighbor or a relative for pretty cheap?
Also, if you will be footing the bill for your son's living arrangements while he's at school, you may want to keep him at home in order to manage costs. If DH can picture how much money you are saving for your nest egg by keeping your son at home, then maybe he'd be more willing to change his mind about the original agreement.
I wouldn't worry about this
I wouldn't worry about this until the time comes. Chances are your son will probably not want to continue living with you anyway. By then if they are productive members of society they generally want to move out and be independent.