I'm not exactly sure where to start. This is my first time using a forum such as this. I have read through some of the posts already and see the support from everyone, which is great!

My DH and I have been together for 6 years and married for 3. He has 2 children SS19 who is out of the picture by no fault of my DH and SD16. I have 2 children of my own BD10 and BS7. My children have adapted quite well. However SD16 hasn't so much. Her and I have a bitter sweet relationship. I have tried and tried to no avail. She has mastered being sweet and kind when she wants something but reverting back to her normal ways after. I do have to say that I am extremely proud of her when it comes to academics and soccer. She is an awesome student and athlete!

I have done many many things for her, as I would with my own kids to hopefully close the gap between us because I just want us all to be a cohesive family. I have even gone as far as holding off on trips and things to be sure she is included. Whenever I buy fun stuff for my kids, I am sure to buy the same or similar thing for her as well or when I buy something for her I get something same or similar for my kids. Granted, there are many times that each child gets something specifically and special just for them. Needless to say, I go out of my way to make sure everyone is happy. The problem is that my kids are appreciative and actually say thank you on their own. She does not, as if what I am doing should be dine regardless.

Recently, SD turned 16. DH and I had talked about giving her his car and buying him a new one since we were looking anyway. At one point, we weren't sure if we were going to be able to afford doing that. So DH's idea was to give SD16 his car and he would drive mine 45 min. each way for work every day and leave me home without a car since I am a SAHM. I put my foot down and role him that I WOULD NOT be sitting at home during the say just so SD16 would have a car to drive and leave in the school parking lot most of the day when I have other kids to get to and from school as well as volunteering and errands. It worked out that DH was able to get a new car and give his old to SD16. She was so nice and sweet until the week after she got her car. She thinks she is an adult now and can come and go when she pleases. I have talked to DH about this and he blows it off. I am not ok with this but without him on my side, nothing is going to change. By the way, this is just a small percentage of what I have dealt with with her.

Two nights ago, she finally came home after being at her moms for over 3 weeks. We were all sitting around and she asked if I would make one of her favorite meals this week since she is home with us. I agreed and had actually bought the ingredients last week in anticipation of her being home. So the day I am to make said meal, she tells me that she texts me to tell me she won't be home for dinner because she is going to her boyfriends house after work. WOW! She has done this numerous times in the past. It is not uncommon for her to want to blow off her commitments she has made to her family to do something she is more interested in. I called DH and asked if he knew about this and if she asked to do this. He said yes. So not only are my feelings hurt but I am now realising that DH doesn't have a clue. He thinks its ok because she should be spending her summer having fun with her friends. I agree but not when she has commuted to something.

What should I do? DH doesn't listen to me. As a matter of fact, he minimizes my concerns and pushes me away when I want to talk about it. Honestly, I'm seriously confused. I need others who know what I am going through to hopefully help me. Thank you!