Wanting to Disengage
After another night with FSD9 I really wish I could disengage. I love FDH very much and he wants me around FSD but we seem to have different expectations for family time. In my opinion if I am going to be around FSD9 I am going to correct her behavior as I see fit. FDH agrees with me about 75% of the time but the other 25% I get the impression that he thinks I should keep quiet.
I'm sorry, but if you want us to spend time together than I am going to hold her to a certain standard. I like being around FSD when she is polite and respectful so when she is rude and impolite, I correct her. End of story. It is my stance from here on out that if FDH thinks I am asking too much of FSD then I can simply disengage and this girl's behavior will not be my problem.
She is nine years old and my requests are -
That she say please and thank you when ordering in restaraunts
That she thanks either her father or myself (whoever made/ paid for dinner)after a meal
That she not speak in baby talk
That she says excuse me if she wishes to begin a new conversation with FDH and myself
That she turn off the lights/DVD player/Wii console when she leaves a room
No whining
This type of stuff is usually what I am correcting and it is very basic for a nine year old. Yes, saying it time and time again is annoying but necessary.
,
The ball is in FDH's court now.
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Comments
Oh Lordy! 9? this is all you
Oh Lordy! 9? this is all you want? and you are wrong?? Sister you have every right to ask for these things.....just wait until the teen years hit!? it will be MUCH worse if you dont set limits now?!?!
My advice is GET and READ the step mom books....STEPMONSTER I hear is great...my next read...read a book on stepmothering caled "stepmotherhood" veery good and insightful! I only WISH I had read it YEAR ago.....It would have made such a difference....
Please get FDH on board NOW...before the 25% of FDH's disagreement with you and the limits on FSD turn in to 125% of diagreement...and YOU are the problem NOT her.....
yeah, at about 14 its going
yeah, at about 14 its going to get fun.
You want her to treat you and
You want her to treat you and others with common courtesy? You monster.
You are definitely NOT asking for too much. Your FDH needs to pull his head out his butt and realize if this is asking too much, then he's going to raise an entitled spoiled brat. One he'll have to deal with on his own because you'll have disengaged already.
My argument would be 'What I
My argument would be 'What I am asking will only be good for her future. Think of when she goes out with friend's families for dinner or a boyfriend's family.
She remembers her please's and thankyou's. This immediately makes her likable. It doesn't matter how skinny or pretty she is, having good manners will go MUCH further.
Her first job. She remembers her manners and this may be the difference between her and the next applicant. I am asking nothing more than what you would expect if she was visiting a friend's home."
Geeze Louise! All you are
Geeze Louise! All you are asking for is basic behavior and manners! It't not like you are asking her to donate a kidney or something! If Dh doeesn't get a grip on this now, there will be hell to pay in the next few years! (trust me, I've got two adult step kids who have NO idea about proper behavior and manners---and it's a little late to work on it, now!)