My Stepson the THUG
I am at my wits end. My 22 year old stepson, (SS-hate to call him this), has been out of prison since last August on a felony child endangerment/neglect charge-for which he served 3 years of a 5 year sentence. Before SS went to prison for this, he'd been in and out of jail and juvenile detention centers all of his adolescent years for anything from shoplifting to getting into fights. He is rude, angry, and ugly. I can't stand to be around him to almost starving his own baby to death and beating up his ex girlfriend. My husband sides with him most of the time and makes excuses for his behavior no matter what he does, (SS is one of six-all except for 2 are grown and equally idiotic), He has never been held accountable for his actions as child and hardly ever as an adult. He dropped out of high school, (all of his teachers were crazy or racist). He comes and goes from our home anytime he wishes, (we bought this small house while he was in prison-and he never lived with us before he went in with the exception of a 3 month period in 2005 but his father couldn't control him-he was violent and stole from us constantly so he ended up moving back in with his poor mother), and on the pretext of working with my husband who owns a small tree business. If I complain then my husband gets upset-as he feels in the middle and usually sides with his son, (he once stood and said nothing while the SS screamed and cussed me out in the back yard about 2 months ago just because I asked him why he stole from us. When SS works with my husband-he does whenever he wants to and as hard-or not- as he wants to and still makes a minimum of 100.00 a day-the other fellows who work with my husband have complained but my husband doesn't listen. Since the ss has been back in town, (he was actually released from prison in a town about 4 hours from here but he got fired from his job and kicked out of the halfway house for breaking all the rules and failing his drug test-the PO sent him back here because he was "homeless"), he has all ready stolen our debit card and charged 200.00, drove through our back gate and broke it with his truck while in a drunken rage, tested positive for drugs which "entitled" his equally rude Parole "officer" to inform us about, he broke 9 facial bones in another family members face by punching him-and got away with it, (this poor fellow needed surgery to repair the damage), he's had so many traffic violations that a warrant was sworn out for him in another town 3 hours from ours but cops won't do anything because that particular unpaid ticket isn't worth enough, he stole copper and fencing from two men who have called the police on him for stealing the fencing and copper from their yard but they couldnt identify him by the outdated photo the police have of him, (taken when he was 16-he's now 22 and shaves his head and is covered in tatoos), so he got away with it; he was caught on camera stealing from a department store on Christmas Eve this past year but got away with that too because he was with his sister who refused to turn him in. He has threatened to kill me and blames me every time his dad can't give him money when he wants it. I would call the police but my husband would probably divorce me for this and I cannot take that much pain right now. I wish the police would do their job but that's out of the question as I have called but they say they have to "catch him" with the goods when he steals. I don't know what to do. There is alot more to this but I am running out of energy. Thanks to anyone who reads this and has advice as I am so appreciative just to get it out.
- sickandtired53's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
1. Don't let him live with
1. Don't let him live with you, he's dangerous and a ticking time bond, he's also an able bodied adult who can get a job. The parole officer can find him another half way house or he can go back to jail. Sounds like he needs to be there anyhow as he has numerous violations to his parole anyhow.
2. Set boundries when your around him as to what behavior you will or will not tolerate, he's related to you so you will have to see him.
3. Get your husband on the same page or kick you husband out too, No need to be held hostage in your own home.
4. NEVER be alone with this psycho.
5. WATCH your back when out in public, there are stories of kids and skids harming or killing parents or step parents don't be a statistic.
6 Consider putting in security cameras that are backed up to a secure internet site that another trusted party has access to in the event something happens. You don't want them going to a VCR because he can still the tape(evidence)
7. PRESS CHARGES on him for anything he steals from you. Its a crime to steal a debit/credit card and use it.
8. Consider an "Order of Protection"
I think your husband and his family are scared of this MAN CHILD and you all need to stop letting this MAN CHILD scare you into getting his own way.
^^^ This is good advice. If
^^^ This is good advice.
If he's threatened you, please get a restraining order. We don't want the next person to need surgery to be you.
Aren't living in a halfway house and passing drug tests part of his probation? Why hasn't his PO violated him and sent him back?
^^^^^ Like. Get the
^^^^^
Like. Get the restraining order.
I am just now getting back in
I am just now getting back in here--I lost the link. The PO does nothing. I tried to talk to him and so have others but for some strange reason he just tells the SS who called and why they called. SS then attacks whomever verbally and becomes abusive. Can I sue a PO for this? One attorney thought not, but if their actions are resulting in danger to people out there because they aren't doing their job, seems like that is grounds for a lawsuit to me. I am just tired of all of it. Thank you for your advice and take care.
Thankyou for your advice. SS
Thankyou for your advice. SS does not live with us. Unthinkable. I wanted to press charges for the stolen debit card SO bad--but my husband said "he would handle it". I won't trust him again. I hope the creep tries it again, it would be worth the money for him to be in jail where he belongs. I don't understand why his parole officer is so slack. I've never heard of an "order of protection" but will look into it.
Thank you. He took off for SC
Thank you. He took off for SC for a month after becoming violent with my husband-his dad- in our backyard again. This time when dad tried to call 911 from his cell phone, SS ripped cell phone from his hand and broke it. He chased me into the house where I had to barracade the door and called 911. Police showed up 15 minutes later and did nothing. I did not press charges because I dont want animosity from my husband, that is his job to press charges against that idiot. Well the 4 weeks that creep wasnt around were the best we have had in the year since hes been out. Well things didnt work out for SS in SC, (we live in GA btw, he broke parole again by leaving state but his PO is also a creep and doesnt seem to care that ss lives off whatever stupid woman comes along until he becomes violent-which he always does-then he moves on), well he's back in town. Showed up screaming in our front yard last sunday evening for my husband to come out and talk to him. My husband gave him a ride to mcdonalds then took him somewhere and left him, gone for about and hour. the next day he told me ss was "hungry" and he was going to let him go to work with him again. (we own a small business-plus-ss has a drug problem and I doubt he "walked all the way to our house last sunday for a burger). I begged my husband not to take him to work, that ss is unstable and that is a risk to his safety as well as safety of our clients. his reply: "everyone is unstable". Every day husband has taken ss to work, driven him to wherever he stays, bought him time for his phone and is helping him find yet another vehicle to drive, (ss has had 3 cars since getting out of prison-the 1st was purchased with money down-money he got from stealing stuff from walmart and selling it-he ended up stripping that car out and leaving it on the side of the road for repo to pick up-he sold everything he stripped out of it, the second vehicle was truck he smoozed from some stupid woman. he used it to steal from peoples yards anything that wasnt chained down then resold the stuff for $$ for drugs-he trashed that truck, then he bought a small car with 300.00 from another drug buddy and ended up smashing his fists through the windshield that last sunday he was here causing trouble.). I dont understand why my husband is so driven to help this idiot. Doesnt he see he is enabling him? I have talked to police and attorney. They said there are no more "restraining orders" now its called "good behavior warrant" which makes it harder to have him arrested. Cops have to be on scene and witness one of his fits. I am a nervous wreck. I am considering divorce but money is so tight I don't know how I can swing it. I am unwilling to give up our house to my husband because I am the main caretaker here and I love this place. I appreciate everyone's kind words and am sorry to write so much. (And there is so much more to write). It helps to get it out. Thank you.
Why are you still there? Why
Why are you still there? Why don't you leave and let daddie and son have the party without you?
Not that easy. Finances are
Not that easy. Finances are not stable and this house is mine too. I work hard here, do all the housework and keep up the lawn. There is no where else to go. I feel like they need to leave and find their own party somewhere else. Same idea but with them finding somewhere else instead of me. Sigh.
Thankyou all. I am so glad to
Thankyou all. I am so glad to get this off my chest. The PO knows everything but is shady as well. I called the Atlanta Parole Board and while they do have complaints about this PO, they said I would have to write letters to the PO's supervisor and I do not want to sign my name as my husband once threatened me when I told him I considered a restraining order. Right now the ss is in "quiet" mode--not bothering us as much because he got money from his dad this week and helped him out around the back yard. My husband thinks that because the ss is behaving this way that he is instantly cured of his emotional issues and is "straight" and not on drugs. I know it's only a matter of time. He has threatened to kill me and his sister told me she heard him say it so I do watch my back. I cannot afford to get out on my own but am trying to save a little money on the side. I just keep praying that he'll get arrested or maybe a lightning bolt out of the blue will change him for the better. Thankyou all again for your input.
You can go to a shelter if
You can go to a shelter if need be. Your life is worth more than living in this nightmare! Please, get help! I don't want to read about you on the news (live in GA) Hugs!!!