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What would you do......

sunflower3's picture

For those of you who do not get along with your SD/SS, do you expect them to acknowledge you or even just send you a text or a phone call on your Anniversary, Birthday and Mother's Day?

Comments

tiredout's picture

hell no. In 6 years none of those scenarios have ever happened. they can ask me for $ the day before any special event in my life and they would never acknowledge me. They all have bad manners.

DaizyDuke's picture

I get along with my SS12 and SD13 not lovey dovey or anything... more like a business relationship.. because we have to be civil to each other. But I don't expect ANYTHING from them. and most of the time that's what I get... hell most of the time that's what DH gets too. SS got him nothing for Christmas... SD did, but neither remembered his birthday. Last year SS did get DH a Father's day gift, but SD showed up with nothing.. no card no nothing... so my expectations for any well wishes for me are pretty low... and honestly I could care less as I know if they did do something it wouldn't be from the heart so I'd just rather they didn't bother.

Kilgore SMom's picture

I don't know the ages of your ss and sd if their young I believe it is DH responsiblity to teach them to respect you as they do him and BM. Whereas homemade things or words would be nice. If they are in their teens I wouldn't exspect anything. At that age they have their emotions and never really think of anyone else.I've (SM) had my feeling hurt by my SS 6yrs old, because he makes a big deal out of things for his BM. SS lives with Sm and DH. I do all the work and BM gets all the credit. BM has came to 2 t-ball games in the last two seasons SS makes a big deal out of her being there. I've never missed a game and I get ignored. Its hard to stay mature and act like a adult when your feelings get hurt. I have to reminde myself that ss is still little and one day it may be different.

Tx mommy of 3's picture

It's not that I don't get along with ss13. I just can't stand him! But we are polite to each other. However I am not his mom an he is not my son. So no I do not expect anything from him regarding Mother's day, my bday or any holiday. Heck, he never acknowledges his own dad on those days! I hve my bios who do plenty for me on those days anyway.

Most Evil's picture

Hey, I have had what I consider a 'fake' acknowledgment on Mothers Day, but I feel it was really a PAS slap at my DH since he usually is never acknowledged on any special occasion, Fathers Day, birthday, even Christmas.

So it gave me no joy to be supposedly acknowledged, when he isn't, sayin?? I actually ignored it.

z3girl's picture

Nope.

That's what biological children are for lol. Although SD barely acknowledges those for her own father.

Any SM's to be acknowledged (as well as their DH's of course) are very lucky!

tiredout's picture

I should add that I don't expect them to (even the adult SKs); what I can't stand is what they expect of me...xmas, bdays, bdays for their kids, talk shit about me if I miss a game/event whatever etc...they expect everything from me that they do of their Dad yet treat us both like crap. Really its my own damn fault...had I done nothing in the begining it would have been much better because now that I dont really want to and its never going to be reciprocated I feel like I am looked like as a bitch if I don't..I should have never gone there in the first place....and if there is a thank you its too their Dad and not me; or both of us... even though I do the work and/or spend the $.

UsedUp's picture

Hell the SD I raised myself her whole like only saw fit to text msg me 'Happy Fathers Day" on my phone. My phone number to call it only 7 digits her msg took more characters to type out than to just call me and say it!

Expect nothing, that way you won't be disappointed!

Kilgore SMom's picture

Thats the Joy of being a SM. Most people don't understand how we feel or why it hurts. Not to bash the DH, but men just don't think like we do. This past mothers day my SS (who is 6yrs.old and has supervised visition with his BM at his Bgrandmothers house every other weekend overnight) BM text me Happy Mothers Day! At first I thought it was nice, then I got to thinking something stinks.BM has never called or texted me in 6 yrs. I told DH BM was up to something. So when SS comes home he tells that SS spent the night at BM house and not Bgrandmothers. So what BM thought was a cute thing to do backfired. My DH is not happy with BM or Bgrandmother for violating the court order.

LONGTIME SM's picture

SD would once and a while remember H for bdays and father's day back before H's mother passed away (when SD was about 30 and we supposedly got along or at least everyone pretended to). SS NEVER acknowledged his dad. I think back then I recieved a phone message one time telling me happy mother's day from the two of them as adults. I think that it was the birth of my oldest daughter that prompted this - competition you know.

Back before H's mother passed away (once step adults were about 30ish) I was given a dollar store gift < $10 from SD for Christmas once and a while but she would add SS's name. I think that she did this to let me know what she really thought of me. I base this upon observing the excitement she would show watching me open the trinket and the comment she made one year telling me with a smirk that her 2 year old had picked it out at the dollar store . I always behaved myself though and showed no reaction other than a smile and a profuse thank you!

Neither Skid has ever acknowledged me on my birthday much less given me a card or gift even when they have been with us on my birthday!

To be honest none of this really bothered me though because I was used to getting no acknowledgement, gift or greeting and I was used to seeing H ignored most of the time also.

So no, I do not expect nor do I want anything from steps.