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3 weeks....can't do it

007Lostit's picture

I have three weeks till her graduation. I thought things were going okay. (hello me...when have they EVER gone okay in the end? right?) She has been in contact with her mom again. Nice how she can contact her once she turns 18, and she is one month away from graduation.
I Just can't do the three weeks.
I can't.
I feel like crying right now.
She has been getting super lazy with her two whole chores (dishes & wipe down the counters and table). It hasn't been getting done. Her room is a pig sty...she was supposed to be getting it clean and in order because she is not going to be here after graduation. Just shit everywhere in her room and bathroom. Clothes are just piled in the closet and not on hangers etc, drawers open and clothes hanging out...pack rat shit all over...bags, wrappers, just garbage. She was supposed to clean it yesterday since she had no school, didn't do it...so she was told (by her dad not me) to clean it before she left with her mom today. I asked her if she got it done because she was getting ready to leave...she told me yes. I went to check after she left...blatant outright lie.

I decided to check out her backpack (i know!) but just had to...she has two lighters that i found (smoking? not that we could say anything she is 18) and browsed through her psychology notebook...(i have degree in psych. but she never asks me about it) notice that she "shares" a lot in her papers/homework about her own "issues" and I seem to be her topic of choice. This is why I am so upset.

She wrote in her paper to her teacher that she is "afraid" of me and I am "so mean" to her, and she "can't do anything right" because she is the oldest blah blah blah....this teacher comments that she didnt know she was in that situation and how she is sorry for her etc, and that she can talk to her anytime.

I just can't anymore. Like I said...I "thought" things were going okay. I have even sat and watched t.v with her, and we have been talking about books, friends, shows, graduation, etc. Just everyday stuff. But she is complaining about me to her teachers and friends still...obviously. It never ends.

I don't want to wait out the three weeks.
I don't want to drive her ass to work anymore.
I don't want to anymore.
I can't.
I am done.
I can't do this, not one more day.

I am sick to death of being the bad guy!!!!!!!!!!
I am sick of having to just suck it up and deal with it!!

I have no more rope left to hang onto.
The straw broke that camels back.
I have nothing left for her.

What would you do???

Comments

myhusbandswife's picture

Tough times never last..... tough people always do!

Man up, girlfriend!

You've got THREE weeks, twenty-one days, (14 when you consider 8 hours of sleep a day). There are SM's on here with months, ....YEARS of this crap ahead of them.

Count your blessings, you are one of the LUCKY few with a big bright light at the end of your tunnel.

Plan a HUGE graduation/"Freedom to ME" party and look forward to summertime!!!

simifan's picture

Why in the world would you take her anywhere? Don'y do a thing for a disrespectful ADULT who bad mouths you but give her notice of eviction for the day after graduation.

Three weeks, & you're sure she's going in three weeks? You can make it, find yourself a good hang out spot - cafe, bookstore, gym, a good key lock for your bedroom & a stockpile of books and movies. Take a weekend getaway. Make a work date or two, visit a friend. But a big desk calendar & post it in the kitchen Xing of the days. Best of luck.

ksmom4's picture

I feel your pain. I have 2 sc and things always seem to go "missing" after they leave. Money, video games, DS and my kids clothes. My sc ar 12 & 11 so I have many more years left of this. At least you only have 3 weeks. We are trying to get residential custody of the sc. I'm hoping and praying that if they move into a stable home that things will change and as for being the bad guy in her story. I'm always the bad guy too but I'm always the first one they come to when they need something.

mom2five's picture

I can relate. My stepson graduates in a couple of weeks and he is about to send me over the edge. He leaves his room a mess. He is disrespectful. He is horrible to his siblings. I have an older child who graduated a couple of years ago, so I know some of this is normal. But my stepson truly has turned into Captain Asshole.

He graduates in a couple of weeks and he was supposed to spend a couple of weeks with his mother. Now he has decided he doesn't want to do that, so I stuck dealing with his crap until he leaves for college.

I'm not sure I can do it. And I can totally relate to your feelings. Wanna come hang out with me? I'm thinking lots of wine.

007Lostit's picture

You guys are right...it is only three weeks. Hell yes i will make it ONLY three weeks. Especially after today. I am done with this shit.

I take her to work because her dad is working and can't take her and she has no car. I don't want to take her. She should find her own ride.

An eviction notice sounds about right.

I like your pic simifan! lol

I know it is not alot of time...but i have been doing this for YEARS myself! 16 to be exact! So you can understand why getting down to the wire is making me anxious. Plus the emergence of her damn mother! Grrrr.

lifeisshort's picture

I'm sorry you're feeling so hurt and angry, but... why did you go through her backpack? That's an invasion of privacy... you went looking for something and you found it.

The girl has a right to her feelings, wrong though you think they may be. She has a right to put them to paper, the same way you have a right to post your feelings about her on the internet. I'll bet that if she found your posts on here, her feelings would be hurt in the same way that yours are after going through her things and you would be mad that she went nosing around on the internet to find your postings.

She's only doing the same thing that you are doing on here. Why is she getting so much flack? That's pretty hypocritical.

Don't take it all so personally. It sounds like she talks to you, shares some stuff going on with friends and school... that's pretty good for an 18 year old. Try to separate the behavior from the person. This child will be in your life FOREVER. Just because she's graduating from high school doesn't mean she won't be around ever again. You have to find a way to deal with this resentment, for your own state of mind.

JMHO.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Are you sure she's gonna leave when she turns 18? Trust me it only gets worse when they get older. And you have every right to go through her backpack. Your house, your rules.

Yme's picture

YOUR HOME! YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO LOOK AROUND! If it were so personal she would have hid it better!! lol!!
Her feelings......ok......YOU have your own feelings too.....Hurts to see in print how much someone "hates" you and how she "blames" YOU for ALL her issues....Im sure all of this comes as no surprise to you....just seeing it in print hurts more...:( You are able to see that blaming others for "her" issues and failures is just inmature hog wash! I would wonder what the teacher would have to say to her...Im sure she has heard many many stories of home horror in her yrs as a teacher...Teens want the "shock and awe" of "wow I didnt know you were living through this at home...you seem so well adjusted, you poooooor kid...." If it didnt get them the attention they wanted they would NOT use it sooooo often! DUUHHH!! Kids can cry and boohoo about how step parents "caused" them to fail all they want but it wont be long until the truth of thier low/non exsistant moral fiber comes to light and the REAL reason for being a failure comes shining through.....Kind of hard to hide behind your step parent's failure of YOU forever!!!!! YEARS of No Moral fiber....refusing to follow rules and structure...running others down for personal enjoyment...making others "pay" for your "pain" over our parents divorce...not giving a damn about anyone but yourself....BLAMING EVERYONE BUT YOURSELF doesnt work for ever........It will show that she never learned life lessons and used "misplaced blame" to get by.....None of that works in the job place OR in her future relationships.....
Hope that she has "real" plans to be out when she is done with High School...