No way in hell I would go....but agree about sending a gift

I agree leahmcc if I were 17 and got pregnant let me tell you the last thing on my moms mind would be oh lets throw her a baby shower.......um yea thats a no. I would not be able to support the decision to have unprotected sex at that age I think thats ridiculous.

Just an idea. Take it or leave it. Explain you wish to spend time with her one on one instead of in a large group. Your one on one time, you sit at home with her and hand her a large box as a gift.

Your gift? Practical items. Grab a box and from now up until the child is born every week you go grocery shopping buy one practical item for the baby. Small things that are needed and everyone forgets about during the 'excitement' of a new baby. Wrap each item up and place in the box, then wrap the box.

1 package of newborn diapers
1 large bottle of diaper wipes
diaper pail (with a box of liners)
A&D ointment (or Desytin)
Thermometer
Nasal asperator
infant tylenol
cool mist humidifier
burp clothes
laundry soap for washing all those clothes everyone else is buying her.
Powder
Baby oil
Light socket protectors
cabinet and door locks
toilet lock
You get the idea... practical items that you need for a baby, that you don't think of needing... until you need it "now".

I have done this for several friends, who at the time looked at the present oddly, until the baby got home and they realized that they needed something they didn't have... and then they remembered 'the box' and what they needed was in there, when they needed it.

Additionally, presents of such a practical nature might point out to your SD that a baby is a responsibility, not a toy. A lot of work goes into one, and god knows they are expensive.

Sorry, I don't agree with rewarding these girls with baby showers. I didn't go to SD's baby shower (I think she was 21) because 1) the baby was a plan to get a check 2) she had no income, no insurance, no future. I just could not see jumping on the band wagon to reward her for her personal irresponsibility. Not necessarily old fashioned, just tired of it all.

My daughter got pregnant at 18 straight out of H/School. She moved in (over my lifeless corpse)with the BD and his parents. The Other Grandma threw this freaking shower and I was invited. Oh Yay!
Let's celebrate my daughter's stupidity and NOT enocurage her to return to her home country where all the medical care is free and stay here where she is running up bills for $1000s on pre and post natal care. We are talking first class lower mortality rate than the USA country. Not to mention all the goofy people ooo-ing and ahhh-ing over the 'cute' outifts and how they will all come around and dress the baby up. WTF?

I sat back and was nearly in tears. Her best friends mother (the only other person there I knew)held my hannd and said "You kow it won't last. In a few years it will all be over." And she was absolutely right.

Baby Showers are not for babys. They are for the mother be she 15 or 50. 17 yr old do not get a celebratory party of gifts because she got up the duff. Hells Bells, any goofball can get pregnant and more than enough do!

I too agree - children having children do not get baby showers. Yes - let's make it easy for them let's get them tons of gifts and cute baby clothes and Juicy Couture diaper bags! This makes me so sick. I say right after they have a kid send them out to get a full-time job to take care of the kid. Statistics say that like 66% or something like that of pregnant teens within 2 years have a second child....and where I live - it's true. And all of these girls turn into bottom feeder single mom's who think they don't have to work...here atleast.

We can say baby showers are for the baby all we want but really - all those gifts are providing a kid with stuff for their kid - since you know darn well most of them haven't spent their hard earned money (most don't have jobs anymore) on a nursery and everything else - they are relying on mom and dad....why make it any easier for them? Seriously.

Back to the subject here - I like the idea of sending practical gifts too. - Like no1smaid mentioned

yeah...they don't need showers...that's a celebration I think - Yes they need necessities - that's it - no showers.

Graciously bow out of the "joyous event" (you have predicted that you'll have a hellish migraine at the exact date and time of the event). For a gift, sign them up to be on the Jerry Springer show.

http://www.jerryspringertv.com/be_a_guest.php

I was guilted (by NN and MIL) into having a shower for SD who was 16 at the time. This was after BM's grande get together at HER place.

SD came (without grandskid even though he was already born) and stayed long enough to open presents. She was on her way GONE when I gave her enough grief for her to inhale a slice of cake before she left.

I was ultimately embarrassed over the whole thing and for my SD's actions.

OH - but I LOVE the idea of giving necessities for gifts. That's what I did with SD.

Sorry, but there's no way in HELL I'd be helping to "celebrate" an unwed teenager getting knocked up and potentially ruining the rest of her (not to mention YOUR) life. Nope, sorry, not happening.

I'm embarrassed for people like that. Bad enough that either the parents were too busy being "friends" with her or "Non-Parenting" or that the parents raised her well with good morals & ethics and THIS happens. Such a tragedy.

The only GOOD thing that would come out of this is to give the baby up for adoption to a loving couple who cannot have children and would LOVE to give that baby a good home. So maybe I'd send her some recommendations to adoption agencies for a "gift" (sarcasm). Or better yet, my "gift" would be setting up a meeting with her and other single, young moms whose lives have been nothing but HELL since giving birth to a baby - I'm sure what THEY have to tell her (the reality of it) would be the best gift of all!!

Sorry, no baby showers to "celebrate" this from Milomom. The whole idea is just ridicuous. Go ahead, flame away - fine with me!

I think if you don't go you should send a gift.Not a gift card because heaven knows what she'd spend it on instead of buying practical baby necessities.I don't think a teen pregnancy should be celebrated but if I had a daughter who was pregnant at a young age I would probably realize it's happening whether i want it to or not so I'd try to make the best of it.Unplanned or planned,it is better for the baby to come into a happy environment where they feel loved and wanted.

well then there's that.lol these little twits never stop to think having a baby is going to take all their precious attention away from them once the baby isn't inside them anymore.I say let them have the party because it's the last time that ANYTHING will be about them.