Are you sure it is jealousy?

That type of jealousy, and yes, call it what it is, really sucks. It's jealousy of someone we know we shouldn't be jealous of, but just can't help it. It's a female thing and a girl thing I think. She is getting attention and love from YOUR MAN and really really does not deserve it. It's a crazy horrible mixed up feeling, but it seems pretty normal so don't beat yourself up for having it. It seems that this SD has really done a number on your DH too, and when you see him still putting her needs high on the list, it's frustrating. (Teeth grinding, fist clenching, eyes bulging...frustrating!!!!)

Definitely put the stuff in the garage though. Pack it up nicely in plastic bins so you are respecting her things, but stash it away. Logically, there is NO reason for one kid to sleep on a sofa when the other isn't even living there and has a bedroom. Your DH has to see that.

I struggle with jealousy too. I feel terrible knowing I am jealous of a little girl but I just can't help it. It's gotten a little better than it used to be, but lately I feel it creeping up again. Mostly because I am noticing as she is growing and getting old, my FDH is still treating her like a baby and doing things for her that he shouldn't be doing. I worry that when she gets to be a teenager that if she is still affectionate with her Dad it will give me strange feelings and just thinking about it creeps me out.

Dad's don't all seem to know when their daughters are growing up, and that independence from them is a GOOD thing. They try to keep their little girls young and dependent on them and do too much for them and think that translates into a "good dad". It's the opposite though. It's detrimental for the kids, and it's hurtful for a SM to watch. Part of it is the "other woman" feelings that arise in you when you see this type of interaction, and part of it is the inappropirateness that's sorta just creepy. My SD13 says very creepy things like "I just love that hair on the back of his neck" while she's stroking his neck. Or "Isn't my daddy so handsome?" in a longing sort of way. :sick: I've told her it's inappropriate, but she doesn't get it. And my SD16 has commented that she likes a certain pair of my DH's underwear!!! :sick: I know they are close, and that part is good, but there are just certain things that are NOT okay. I've recently said something to my husband about this in passing. He dismissed it totally. I struggle CONSTANTLY with the jealousy b/c of this type of thing. And the fact that he's always always thinking of what he can do for them - and not for me. Seems like a common feeling though the more I read here. That doesn't make it okay, but it is nice to know that I'm not alone. That makes it a little easier.

I believe that we feel jealousy because our DH/SO/BF treat their daughters more like spouses than daughters. I had a SD in a previous relationship where she was not treated like a wife and I was not jealous at all. I know how I feel....I honestly feel like the other woman sometimes because beside the intimacy part of our relationship...FSD is treated like another wife. She has no boundaries...JMO but I think that is the problem. I am sick of beating myself up over the feelings about being jealous.

I agree, I am the same way. As for the room, I'd say take it over. No need for your son to sleep in the livingroom, pack up her stuff stick in somewhere (anywhere) else and move your son in.

I feel jealous of the skids. Even though they dont come around much. I dont like that they had him for so long and dont even respect him. They do not deserve him at all. I grew up without a dad and if i would of had a chance at even a stepdad that was there for me I would of loved it. I hate that they text, call, want to see him, want him to see their kids...and the funny thing is that he doesnt really care to see them. He sees them a few times a year thus far. They stay away bc of me i think, but he says they didnt come around much before that. I hate that I get jealous over them, but i cant ignore that feeling. I wish I had kids so he could feel what i do sometimes. He just cant see things my point of view on anything.
i am glad your son has a place to sleep now.

I do not feel jealousy at all because I put myself in my SD's shoes and she is probably jealous that I get her dads attention on a regular basis. Now granted I have told SD since she was 6yrs old that her dad loves her with all his heart but it is not a competition between her and I, he loves us both but he loves her as a daughter and me as his wife..and I refuse to get caught up in that nonsense.

As for you Dear Lisa, I would pack up her crap and put it downstairs, in the garage..where ever you can find a spot and I would make sure my son had a nice room of his own. If DH gets upset then too bad, his daughter does not live with you..your son does..end of story..

Cheers... Z

Same page as everyone else on here! I am jealous of my BF and his D17, when we go out to dinner they will play around together. It always makes my stomach turn!