DH is going to go and see SS by himself over Easter - when he asked SS if he was going anywhere with his mother for Easter SS said he did not know and would have to check with his mother - now this conversation took place last Friday. On Wednesday DH called SS and said did you talk to your Mom and find out if you will be home for Easter and SS said no but I will check tomorrow - this was because BM was gone for the night and SS did not want to let DH know that BM had left him alone again overnight - now SS is 17 and a good student and pretty good kid but it does bug DH that BM leaves him alone overnight. We know she was gone because DH said put your mother on the phone I want to make reservations and want to do it tonight - so SS said she is not here and won't be back for a while - DH was talking to SS at 10:30pm and DH said have her call me when she gets in tonight and SS said she won't be back until tomorrow.

So DH comes into the bedroom and tells me that he still does not know if SS is going on vacation with his mother or not but he wants to start making reservations as it is Easter and Spring Break and most people go away at this time. I told him Listen you get to see your son 3 or 4 times a year and you call up your son tomorrow and tell him that you are coming and call BM and tell her the same thing - we know SS and BM are going to Europe this summer together so I am pretty sure they are not going away for Spring Break!!! So I said to DH - you just get on that computer and book your flight, hotel and car and tomorrow you tell SS that you will be seeing him at Easter.

SS was very excited at the prospect of just his father coming to visit him without me and his step sister - I will say I am EVEN MORE EXCITED THAN HIM NOT TO HAVE TO SPEND THE TIME WITH HIM AS WELL!!! What SS does not realize is that DH is going to visit him to lay down the law about getting a job and really making him understand that if he goes to the Ivy League School that HIS MOTHER wants him to go to - (BM is all about appearances) that we will only be able to pay a small portion and SS will have huge student loans when he is done with college) BM has already told SS that she can't contribute at all because she bought him a car (which she really didn't - in the divorce she was supposed to hand over a stock worth thousands and she kept it - DH did not fight for it and she used this stock to buy SS's car so DH really bought the car but of course POS BM takes all the credit) she is also taking him to Europe in the Summer and wanted us to pay for both of them but DH said absolutely not that he is more concerned for SS's future and college fund then letting him go to Europe (yes Europe would be wonderful to go to but if BM has to pick between Europe and college you would think she would pick College to help her son get out on his own) No BM wants to go to Europe because the last time she went - was when DH paid for it and she f__ked her boyfriend over there. So since she kicked DH out she could not afford to go over (she only has to pay 1/2 of the amount because she will be a chaperone (and no it is not a school trip it is a trip that one of the teachers plans every year and anyone in the school district can go - not school sponsored and no fund raisers to help deflect the cost of the trip BM offered to go along as a "chaperone" so that she only pays 1/2 the amount) because she is so busy spending money trying to make people think she is richer than she is!!!

So last night DH gets a text from SS saying that the dates are good - which is a good thing because DH had already booked the flight, hotel and car!! This morning I pick up DH's phone and see he has a text - I open his phone and it is a text from BM with a picture - so I open the text (yeah yeah I don't want to hear from anyone that was not my place - we do things our way you do things your way - the only way I keep 1 step ahead of that witch is by checking everything - DH thinks he has a handle her but I have lived through too much and know better - I AM THE B*TCH not him)

So she has a picture of SS's bedroom and a text that said "This is SS's room-please advise if you think this is appropriate...he thinks I'm unreasonable... The picture was of SS's bedroom and it was a total mess - you can tell that this room has been a total mess for months but of course now that SS is so happy and excited to see his dad she is going to try and wreck it for the both of them - now our BM is a freaking OCD freak so I know that this is probably eating at her every day - one of my friends when I showed them said what do you do when he comes out to visit and I was like he is here for 1 - 2 weeks - 3 times a year I don't give a shit anymore because he takes it all back with him and I just don't go in the guest room when he visits!!!

So I knock on the bathroom door and say to DH - "There is a God and he loves me!!!" and DH said what is going on so I show him the text and he just shakes his head and says "Listen his messy a** room is the least of my problems - I am going there to put SS straight about getting a job and college - that is her problem not mine - I said to him you do realize that she is trying to wreck your trip again like she has for the last 7 trips - then I started to give all of the examples of how she started trouble and it was like a light bulb went off over his head and I said are you going to call her to advise her and he said "Hell no - SS is going to drive to my hotel and I don't even need to see the b**ch this year!!! So for once she has not won and DH has no plans on calling, talking, texting or even seeing her and going to only deal with SS for this trip!!

I actually sent the text to DH's email and blown up I about died that room was unbelievably messy and I really don't know how he was even able to let it get that bad - it makes me think that BM is not spending much time at all at home. I also would love to write to her and say the only thing I can advise you on is that you should have kept on top of that room years ago!! I would love to send it but DH has forbidden me to and said don't start any trouble - lol God I would love to though and be the fly on the wall when she got that text from me!!!!

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ UPDATE +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Dh and I went out to lunch yesterday and were having a talk about when he goes to visit SS at Easter and what he plans on saying to him and the issues that he wants to discuss with him - being college, getting a job and that in another 14 months he will not be sending CS to BM so if SS thinks all of the things that his mother does for him is without the help of DH he will be learning a very valuable lesson next June when BM no longer receives the nice chunk of change that she does not have to pay any taxes on -

So while we were sitting there I said to DH:

ME: So did you text BM back advise her of the situation regarding SS's room

DH: What the hell did she think I was going to advise her on - if she wants his room cleaned then she needs to make him I can't do that 700 miles away and she needs to stop pulling this
crap right before I am going out to visit my son because I am telling you right now we are going to have some serious conversations and some fun and she will not be any part of it!

ME: Do you see what she is trying to do with the whole get both of you upset because SS is so excited to have you all to yourself for a few days!!

DH: Yeah I see what she is doing and I also want to tell her that by the look of that room I can tell she is never at home with him and I would like to know how many nights a week she
sleeps somewhere else.

ME: Oh I was going to say the same thing.

DH: I also have called SS quite a few times on my way home from work and I ask if if he has had dinner yet (mind you it is now 7 - 7:30pm SS's time and every single time SS says no -
my mom is not home yet - now I know a few nights might be work related but every time I call he has not had dinner most times by 8PM when we get off of the phone and she is
still not home what is up with that?

ME: Well you know whatever you suggest for SS to try in college she is going to go against it just because she hates you more than she loves you son

DH: Wow I never thought of it that way but you are right - say that again for me

ME: BM hates you more than she loves her son and no matter what you say or try to help SS she will go against you every time

DH: Well let her because I am telling SS that if he wants me to pay than I am part of the process or he gets no money from us - if she wants to play the big bad b*tch then let her -
SS told me that she told him that because she bought him a car she can't help with college and that I would be paying for most of it and I told SS do you remember the
conversation that you, SM and I had this past Summer and the amount that we gave you - well we were not kidding that is all that we can afford nothing more!! God I can't
wait to get this controlling b*tch out of my life!!