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Guilty Parenting?

sick in co's picture

Submitted by sick in co on Sat, 03/05/2011 - 2:18pm

Do many of you go thru guilty parenting (on the other side). I never have done that in past relationships with my kids. But my husband I think is afraid of his ex and does not want to say or do anything for fear or what his daughter will tell her BM. BM is a chronic police caller even if I am 10 minutes late. or if she gets scratched at the park or whatever.....

how do you tell your significant other that this behavious is not only hurting the SD but also the other kids in the family and esp your relationship?

I really want to make it work ( we got married in 11/2010) and i do not want to separate the kids either ex. mine go with me you w urs...etc

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Kay2's picture

Submitted by Kay2 on Sat, 03/05/2011 - 4:24pm

Borrowing this from Rags Smile

Step parents bill of rights. Wink

1-I will be part of the decision-making process in my marriage and family at all times.

2-People outside the immediate family - including ex-wives or husbands, in-laws and adult children - cannot make plans that affect my life without my consent.

3-I will not be responsible for the welfare of children for whom I can set no limits.

4-I must be consulted about which children will live with us, when they can visit and how long they will stay.

5-I will not be solely responsible for housework; chores will be distributed fairly.

6-I will be consulted regarding all family financial matters.

7-Others may not violate my private space at home, nor take or use my possessions without my permission.

8-I will never be treated as an "outsider" in my own home.

9-My husband or wife and stepchildren must treat me with respect.

10-Our marriage is our first priority, and we will address all issues together.

Print this and give this to your DH, his reaction to it should tell you alot. Every one of these "rights" are very fair.

12yrstepmonster's picture

Submitted by 12yrstepmonster on Sat, 03/05/2011 - 6:23pm

Yes, my DH and I have both done the guilty parenting with the skids. And yes I have biokids that live with me and skids are eowe kids. It is very easy to do when you want to make their visit pleasant, when you want them to like you, and when you are tired of hearing how bad of a parent you are.