Why can't my DH just aplogise every day for sleeping with that Bitch?
I don't know, but I just think it would make things infinitely better, if DH could wake up every morning and hit me with an inspirational saying such as, "I regret ever laying sight on that bitch and I'm sorry for how my past decisions have affected your life, continue to affect your life and probably always will affect your life. I'm sincerely sorry. I love you and I appreciate all that you do for me, and my kids, I know it isn't easy for you." Then my day can always get off to a good start.
I'm allowed to dream, right...
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That would be nice. I'd be a
That would be nice. I'd be a lot more easy going if I heard that! Only in our dreams, though.
Hahahahaha, I'm not laughing
Hahahahaha, I'm not laughing because it's unrealistic I'm laughing because I have these same thoughts! LOVE this post, thank you for this!
I shouldn't be mean, my SO does actually apologize for "putting me" in this situation where I do believe it takes two and I CHOSE this, he put me nowhere. He can't say he regrets sleeping with useless disgusting BM because he happens to have 2 ungrateful children with her but you're right it would be excellent if he ever said that or if his adult brats were brought by the stork and were not squeezed out of BM's vagina! The other stuff though...I know he feels bad that I have to put up with his broken family because trust me, they are a piece of work! He has said before that he feels he has taken some of my "innocence" away. I kind of agree to be honest. If I had any innocence left...it's gone after I got involved with SO!
My DH does tell me every time
My DH does tell me every time we have a BM interaction that he wishes I were the skids mom and that he hates how his past affects our present and future. It DOES make the crap easier to handle! I feel like we are a team united against pas and BM!
My H wasn't popular with the
My H wasn't popular with the ladies in HS. He said, "Even bad lovin' was better than no lovin'."
I still think he should have hired a prostitute. He would have been done paying for his romps a LONG time ago!
"For this reason alone he has
"For this reason alone he has to love me and hold me and tell me how beautiful I am waaaaay more that a childless man would have to."
I could have written this EXACT same thing! You have spoken for childless women all over the world with insecurities about SO's and their exes that we just cannot control. I feel this way too AND I know that my SO does this for the same reason and also feels guilty for me having to deal with things. Lately I have been getting the visual of my SO sleeping with that fat pig and even though the youngest is 20 I still get so digusted by it. Sometimes my SO will be like...well you have a past too and I'm not too keen on those visuals either. Um yeah but my past does not haunt you everday of your life and you can't hear their screechy voices on the other end of the phone and they don't make you uncomfortable, say terrible things about you and make you feel like you are a terrible person EVERY WAKING MINUTE! Physical proof of the life I had BEFORE you does not exist but once in a blue moon...that's the difference buddy! He told me once...that's not fair to say that. I said, you're right it's not but there's not much I can do about that is there?!!
Crayon, I'm reeeeeeeaally
Crayon, I'm reeeeeeeaally looking forward to that. I hate that there's a double standard! It's so unfair to those of us who are actually parenting and not catering to the child's every need/want/desire.
I try to look at it in a
I try to look at it in a positive light. I try to think that all of the past relationships that we each have had has made us who we are today. They were stepping stones to each other. If we hadn't learned from our past mistakes we wouldn't be able to love so unconditionally and share our lives together as a couple rather than someone's son, father, daugthter, mother. We can be just us.
I know I have definitely learned a lot from past relationships and not all of it was bad.
My DH says all the time that
My DH says all the time that he wishes he never met, saw, or touched her and that he even considers me to be SD True mom (I get mad at that one; cause I am not)
But they were young (17 when they had her) and My DH was a bit of a "ladies man" to put it nicely........LOL. It just happened. If they had been happy and in love and really cared for one another I may have felt a bit diff; but since he never even really liked her - it makes me feel better!! ha
OMG you totally took my
OMG you totally took my phrase. I'm always saying this to my DH. He gets so angry always citing that I'm throwing his past in his face. But the truth is his past walks in our home every other weekend and his past takes $1100 out of our pocket each month. I think the thing that upsets me the most is he has NO idea how difficult it is for me to be seen as the second wife, especially when I'm the first. He never married his sons mother--she is the baby mama and has a bunch of drama.
I've changed my entire life--moved from a different state, started a new job and now I am supporting us because I make more money than him. Anyway, thanks for letting me feel normal with your comment. I tell others how I feel and they gasp in horror that I'm evil. If they only walked in my shoes!
YES, YES, YES Dani. I moved
YES, YES, YES Dani. I moved also and got a new job once back. The only differences are that my SO has adult children so there is no cs thank God, and he was married to the ahole BM for 20+ years. You are sooooo normal. I felt the same way as you before I came here. My friends cannot relate, they are all in "normal" situations and I don't want to alienate them with all my probs.