See I just don't put up with it. Period. If they want to act like that I send them to their rooms. When they want to act like nice boys then they can come out. But for the most part I don't have to do that b/ when I say something and they don't listen my dh tells them they have to listen and makes them stop with that kind of behavior. As for the name calling my dh will not let them call him names either. You are going to have to put your foot down with your dh and tell him these are the things I can not put up with. You will have to tell him each and everyone and sometimes why. Some you might be able to compromise on too.

I feel for you deeply, WISH! I can relate to what you're saying. If it's any comfort, my skids are worse than that at times .... I pray ALOT, read scripture, talk to my girlfriends, my Mom, etc. It helps. I always enjoyed a quiet, respectful home with my own children too. Thankfully, my kids are grown and on their own, and I don't have the problem of them being exposed to skids behaviors. You are never going to love your stepchildren unconditionally the way you love your own. That's just human nature. Hopefully, you will grow to love them (the way that you love your nieces and nephews), or even just have strong affection for them. You have some difficult (and also some truly enjoyable! Believe me!) times ahead. Keep praying, trust in God, love your husband, and you WILL prevail. And please don't beat yourself up over "unkind thoughts." That's also human nature. Sounds to me like you're giving it your best! I will say a little prayer for you tonight!

what i do is i TRY to treat my skids as my own but their rebellion against that keeps me from fullfilling fully. They don't care until the rewards come along, so i quit caring. I treat my daughter as mine and my skids as skids. They don't get the same special treatment from me, i've even become very quiet when around them. they know that even though they don't see me as "mom" they still treat me the way I expect to be treated as a parental figure. They can like it or hate it. I take my daughter out on special mommy daughter outings and leave skids with dh. when they deserve it i'll treat them specially, but until they start treating their dad as more than a weekend away from home, i wont give them the "special-my child" treatment

it takes time and MANY years of patience, my dad and smom are working on 15 years of marriage, and she and i are JUST now to that point of "1 on 1 time"

I also struggled in the beginning and I still do not love her like I do my children but I think thats normal, she is not my bio. child so I do not see her that way... but I do care for her more than I do for nieces and nephews (well maybe I care a lil more for my sis kids but almost the same lol) luckily she is a sweet kid otherwise omg lol but advice that I could give you is to continue praying, our Lord All Mighty will answer our prayers, he might be texting ur patience but you will be ok Good luck Sister

Hi, so many to read from. I noticed that mine is different from the one I read here. It is not the kids in my home. I have a 15 year son and a 13 year stepson, they both get along so great. Ok, the father and son are loud and say things they shouldn't so I leave it at that. I usually tell him that a father isn't supposed to talk like that to his child. For me a child learns from their parents and that kid got it from his dad, no wonder he is that way. The difference is that his father treats my son different from his son just cuz it is not his son. My son feels like he is the ugly duckling, he'll ask for something and my hus say there's no money or he has to pay bills then meanwhile he paying other stuff unnecessary or buy for his own son and doing things w/ his son but mine he leaves him out, but the amazing part is that both son do not envy each other at all. They play games,talk,defend each other and so on and I am happy about that. If my son does something wrong even not picking up the garbage my husband goes crazy punishes him the whole week, but if his son does something wrong he either send him home to his mother or doesn't say anything at all, he tells me to keep his son out of it. I am like wow, how a deacon is able to govern his group church if he can't even govern his own home. I know it said wife to submit to your husband cuz he is the head of the house-(even tho is not his) there are some things that set the limits as long as not hurting you or your loves one, therefore he is crushing my son's spirit, his limit is going way off. Even the Bible said do not suffer the little children, we have to know what it means, it may be more than one meaning to some-depends what you feel in your heart as long we don't be deceive in our own heart. No matter how many time we reading it means many doesn't mean is wrong just as long as we get it, it works many ways.