I'm new here and thought i'd give you guys some insight into my relationship. I've been with my husband for 5 yrs and married for 2 1/2 yrs. when i first met him everything seemed good and i got along great with his sons at that time they were 6 and 7. 1 year down the road i start getting phone calls from his ex and she tells me that she is happy with her fiancee and things are great and she is moving on and i had no idea where this was coming from. eventually i find out that my husband boyfriend then had slept with her 1 yr into our relationship more than once. We got back together moved in and tried to move past that but things only got worse. It seemed like she was trying to do everything she could to piss me off and get me out of the picture. I knew this and decided i wasnt going to let her win, but at the same time knowing that he fell for it once made me doubt a lot. well time has gone by so much has happened and 5yrs later we're married and have 2 children. One thing he always did was deny deny deny some of the things she said i beleived and others sounded like she was just trying to get under my skin. But she has continued this for 4 years its been 1 yr since i had any trouble and many times i have walked out and seriously tried to move on. He begs and pleads that he wants to work it out it was a mistake and he regrets it and would like to move forward. I have tried but when she calls to talk about their sons or we go to a football or baseball game and i have to see her it brings back painful memories. To her it was pleasure to sleep with him and throw that in my face. To him it was pleasure while he was doing it and to me its been heartbreak. We signed up for counseling been to 1 session and it was hopeful but nothing will change the fact that he was seeing her when i left him not only because of trust issues but also because he had alcohol issues and i felt that the environment was not a healthy one for my children. So instead of bettering himself to get his family back i would return to someone that had been going out meeting girls and seeing and sleeping with his ex. I cant seem to get past it. The question is always there doubt is always there ....is this marriage doomed? I try to move past this but i feel like it is only a matter of time before history repeats itself. Also when i see her with at the games i have no idea what his and her thoughts are about each other. He is a good dad to my sons and stays at home and his alcohol issues have been resolved but there is not trust. He says that i have his heart and he wants to spend the rest of his life with me and i love him too and i want that too but......thoughts always come in my mind of what exactly were they saying to each other knowing that he was married and he was sleeping with her and that she has a fiancee too? This has happened more than once in the 5 years that weve been together each time it has happened when we were separated and i was planning on moving on because of his alcohol issues not because i left him for someone else and didnt love him. I try to get answers when things are calm and in a very civil manner i will try to get true answers but he always gets defensive and starts to raise his voice. His answer has been that she was easy and that it was because of me that he did it because I didnt want to be with him and that he regrets it and it was a mistake on his part. If it was a mistake why has it happened so many times? She use to stop by unexpectedly and drop off the kids as she pleased and cause drama. Police reports were made but that is as far as that got. She use to come over and cuss him out about him not paying child support and blaming it on me which is totally not at all the truth. I felt like i was at fault for everything even though i wasnt. Now i feel like im trying and trying to work things out but i always come back to the same distrusting, doubtful, sick to the stomach feeling. He said he is willing to do what it takes and i beleive that but after a while i start questioning why did this happen and why did that happen and i never get answers. i cant seem to move forward sorry if this is too long i hope i can get some good honest advice thank you for your honesty and help.