Question on BM and daycare providers....
I am curious anyone’s thoughts on this…
Here is my background. I have been with my DH for almost 3 years and married for 7 months or so. He has 2 daughters from 2 different BMs. One is his ex-wife and the other an ex-girlfriend. We are currently trying to have a baby, I do not have any bio kids of my own. In recent months BM1 and BM2 have become BFFs – they couldn’t be more proud of this new found friendship (before I came along, they could not stand each other).
Here is my question – BM1 runs a daycare. BM2 takes SD3 there daily for “school”. This is a daycare….not a damn school, but whatever. Recently I was talking to my DH about this new “school” and BM BFF situation to gather his opinon on it…in a nutshell he finds the whole thing crazy. He was mentioning that it would have been cool if the BM2 would have asked his opinion on the new school situation, but in the end, he is like: Whatever.
Here is my question. If we have a child (I hope it’s more like, when we have a child) I do not want to take him/her to BMs daycare. Would any of you be comfortable bringing your child to a BM for care? I don’t want her to be more involved in my business than necessary and even though BM2 thinks she is the bee’s knees…I don’t want her watching my child.
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Comments
Soooo strange, I would not
Soooo strange, I would not bring my child there. Not that I would not trust her, I am sure she is a fit provider... but just the fact that I want my own LIFE! I dont want my DH's BM's to have a part in it. Just because I am a SM, does not mean that the BM has to have a hand in my children. I am SO THANKFUL that I have states to separate my BM and ME.
I would never take a child of
I would never take a child of my own to anything associated with BM.
Hell no, no friggin way! I
Hell no, no friggin way! I don't want either of my BM's to be within a continent's distance of my son much less care for him on a daily basis. And that would also mean I would have to see and play nice with BM on a daily basis...Never happen!!
This is an interesting
This is an interesting thought......Thank you for providing your opinion. It's good to look at both sides...and let's be real, I don't have a child yet, this is all "what if...talk"
This school does not go above and beyond in the way of learning languates and such...they do learn the alphabet, etc, but I would hope that most daycare providers would provide this.
Again, thanks for providing an alternate look!
NO NO NO.....they end up
NO NO NO.....they end up knowing your entire life you want to give BM's as little information about You and your life as possible...it they bbsit your child...they will know everything...every arguement every issue....everything fun and it will come back and bite you on the ass
I'm pregnant now and there is
I'm pregnant now and there is no way that I would let BM have that big of a part in my child's life. Just think when your child can talk she could potentially tell the BM so much stuff you would just rather have her not know. Not to mention I would always have to wonder how well she was really treating my child or if there was some underlying resentment there. Never in a million years.
I don't think it matters if
I don't think it matters if she offers the most wonderful home daycare in the world, absolutely no way should you take your child there. Your FDS/DD can see the siblings when they are with you. What an uncomfortable situation. Any great daycare provider knows that you don't take friends kids and you don't become friends with your clients until the children are done being in your care.
BM will never be around my
BM will never be around my BS8months. She wants to be like an aunt to my son but I will never allow it. I go out of my way to make sure that Skids are picked up and dropped off when BS and I are out of the house. BM offers to babysit all the time but since I live with the HER children full time, there's no way I would subject my son to her mothering skills. She can babysit her own children for once.
In years past, I had
In years past, I had considered offering to watch SD and BM2's son with me as the babysitter. I knew she got state assistance and I would be able to get paid for watching the BM's son and we'd get regular contact with SD.
I was licensed through the state and would be able to get certified to receive state money, but I realized that SD needed to have the separation from her brother by coming to our house. She needed this time to bond with my BS and SS, her half brothers without feeling resentment about the whole thing.
Now I'm glad that I never did. BM2 and my relationship is way better then it used to be and that could have ruined it all.