I tried something similar with my bf, not living together anymore...it's been very difficult to go from living together and wanting to get married. PM me if you want and I'll tell you more.

Sorry you're going through this. One good thing I can tell you is I have no regrets, it was absolutely the right thing to do. Much less stressful.

I just posted this on another thread - but re living apart, I kept my house until after DH and I had got married and only moved in fully when we had our first baby 6 months later. So we were together about 4 years before we completely moved in together. It sounds odd to say that, but it felt like the right thing for me, I really loved my house and I was lucky that I was pretty well off and didn't need to sell it for financial reasons. 2 years in I was spending most of my time at his house, but it was great knowing I had my safety blanket and could retreat to my own peaceful clean tidy home and curl up in front of the stove when things got too much at SKid central (he had 5 children, at times it was overwhelming). Given that DH and I had a difficult time reconciling our views on money/children/housework/lifestyle and at one point were in real conflict, having my own place was a lifeline, and that independence enabled me to stick to my guns about the stuff that mattered to me. So I totally recommend having your own space. It may also help you to refocus on your relationship with your husband and return to a 'dating' phase where you can rediscover what you see in each other without a constant background of stress and conflict. I really hope it works well for you.

You'll have your own room and bed, I totally hate you.

That sounds like a great idea, and your realtionship is spiraling without a buffer, and now you'll finally get to put the paper towel roll where you think it should really go, WHERE IT BELONGS!! The most important thing is whatever is best for you and your son. He wasnt thinking of your son when his daughter was bullying him, and no matter what the situation, he wasnt thinking of you when he allowed her to make such snarky comments. All I can do is reccomend you keep the peace and leave as much as you can stand well enough alone. get all your crap together now, maybe even get a storage place for a the month and dump everything you can in there, so moving day is littorally a truck and a saturday morning. Then you and the boy can go to IHOP and then home depot to pick out spider plants. Of course, if "Da Bitch" takes so much as a moment to threaten you or your son, bust out the iron hammer of Thor, and smack that girl from Marvel back to Dark Horse where she belongs (geek meter rising). If you do your best to stay level, any issues until you leave will be her fault. And NO ONE can judge you for protecting and caring for yourself and your son (and then you have the villianous excuse of catching her by the throat and reminding her what carpet tastes like).

Well...I worked with a lady that married a man with custody of three kids ages 2,3,4 and she had 2 kids ages 5 and 7. She went through hell for years. She raised these kids and when they got to be teenagers that is when the hell started. Everything she tried to make them do for their own good hubby would come right behind her and let them do anything they wanted. (Body piercing, tatoos, etc.)

Well, anyway one day after her 2 kids were gone off to college and his kids were still at home as teenagers, she informed him she had bought a small house and was leaving. Everybody couldn't believe it. She lived in her house and he lived in his house with the three hellions and they "dated" and he treated her like a queen and realized he still loved her. But She was not going back to where she was not respected and being treated like crap. They still loved each other very much. So, his kids finally went off to college, then they sold both houses and finally bought one "together" and now SHE dictates was goes on about her household and expected behavior. Number one rule is nobody moves home unless you have a life threatening and definite death date illness.

Now, they travel and have so much fun. I never thought it would end up like that. Even ALL the kids treat her nice now because both she and her husband demand respect.

Good luck with your situation. Time apart don't necessarily mean the end of love.

I wish I were brave enough. Keep holding on to the hope that something will change and get better, that he will stand up and start putting the family even my stepkids first instead of bowing down to everyone else. Got myself in a hole and I keep thinking that I should get myself out but at this point I keep getting hung up on the idea that I'm 40 and this would be my second divorce. My two youngest already lost thier father and now I'm going to divorce the man who they know as "their" dad. One lady told me that the only reason he married me was that he had young kids and as soon as they were old enough watch out. Hate it when people are right. Has anyone seen myself esteem, I need to find it.

Good for you! Sorry too; I wish I had the nerve to go. I can picture happiness w/o having to deal with my lovely SD13!! She has made my life a living HELL!! I have been with mine for almost 12 years and we have 3 others together. I have said for the past 2 years that I wanted to leave; but since SD has moved in w/ us FT - I have truley begun to hate my life; MY BD11 is in tears as well. I hate to tear up a family but I don't want to live like that either. You have to do what is healthy for yourself. Wish you the BEST!!

FDH and I have separate homes. We have discussed moving in to one home together, And I really am still considering it. But for now, this works. He stays with me on the 4 nights a week he has no kids and he stays with his kids on the 3 nites he has them. We still have dinner and sometimes go out on skid nites. We do things together some and separate some, And I kinda like it, I know at some point for financial reasons we should stop it, But I am reluctant to give this up. It works for now.