Fear. Obligation. Guilt.

I thought this was such an eye-opening book:

Emotional Blackmail: When the People in Your Life Use Fear, Obligation, and Guilt to Manipulate You by Susan Forward & Donna Frazier

http://www.amazon.com/Emotional-Blackmail-People-Obligation-Manipulate/d...

For learning how to deal with parents, in-laws, the husband's/wife's ex, the guilty parent, kids and even my own self-sabotaging thoughts as a second wife and stepparent.

My DH's ex-wife was and is a Pro at emotional blackmail. And, sadly, I actually found myself becoming a pro too because it seemed that's the only way I can get my husband to react to some things, so CONDITIONED he was to this kind of interaction.