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The Audacity

prayerhelps's picture

Submitted by prayerhelps on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:31pm

SD17 will be 18 end of March. For sometime now, she (me too) has been counting down the days, as SD insists she will move in w/BM----DH has been PC forever now. Fine, we will help you move. DH has been trying to convince SD to at least wait to graduate in June, as past experience has shown that BM could care less if she does. Found out today that BM has been telling SD---I will give you all of the CS of $500 if you move in with me. And we can collect it until you are 25. ----- Oh MY!!! So many lies in these promises, it is unbelievable.

1) BM owes DH back support already---so in NC she cannot even file until she is up to date. 2) DH has a good job, BM doesn't work--DH would pay more like $800+ in CS if she had custody. 3) In NC, once you graduate, the CS stops coming in, so in essence, BM would get 2, maybe 3 months of child support----unless she somehow gets SD to fail in her last quarter of school (did this 10th grade year, so SD had to retake a class) just to "get" DH---of course, we can fight that due to a clause in the statute that says "if minor is making progress in grades to graduate."

I have to keep my mouth shut on this one, since I heard from someone secondary---but is just too funny. We pretty much knew BM would file for support if SD moved in for last few months of school. Didn't quite expect the bribery to get her to move there-----not sure how SD will react to her BM lying again----her counselor will discuss what the reality is of CS in NC w/SD at her next visit per our request. In 2009, it was all sorts of promises (new mustang, new computer) to get SD to tell judge she wanted to live w/BM. Didn't work, as judge saw through the BM and her inability to actually be a parent, sent SD back to DH so she had a chance to graduate.

Sometimes feel so bad for SD's when they have to deal w/conniving BM who is still so bitter----oh, but then I recall how SD has treated me in past, and that she obviously is just as hateful as BM to agree to something like this (or at least money grubbing)

Comments

majka's picture

Submitted by majka on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 12:40pm

Wow that really is hateful... I hope that one day SD is able to see through the lies... But it was encoraging to see that the judge was able to see through BM... I wonder what SD reaction will be when she realizes that her mother lied again, and she will not be recieving anything.. hmm

prayerhelps's picture

Submitted by prayerhelps on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 1:04pm

SD plans to do EMT program at community college, but her grandparents have already told her they would pay for the program (of course, it is BM's parents, so could renig).

Already printed out a copy of the NC General Statute that states how long CS is for counselor to share w/SD. The thing is, even last summer, SD almost seemed relieved when we told her she had to live w/DH again (after 3mos w/BM), and we almost get the idea that deep down, she wants to stay here to graduate, but BM has put so many years into the----if you love me, you cannot love your dad too-----crap, that even after years of counseling, she still goes back to that thinking every now and then---like she is betraying her BM---oh, and of course the "poor pitiful me" story BM spouts anywhere----(BPD)

Persephone's picture

Submitted by Persephone on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 7:36pm

Ours also counted down the days and threatened to move to BMs... No problemo here... the cost of child support for the couple of months of peace, priceless. But, stick a pin in my balloon, she did not move in March or June. She chose to live here until she started college. Long ass fricken summer.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Fri, 10/22/2010 - 11:23pm

It is truly entertaining when the blended family opposition is this stupid. Unfortunately the kids are the ones who suffer.

The SpermClan attempted that crap when SS turned 12. "When you are 12 you can pick where you want to live" My wife nipped that crap in the bud prontol. We showed the kid the Court Order and the state guidelines and supplemental rules governing custody and visitation. It was crystal clear that a kid never gets to decide which parent they live with. The judge decides.

We are also fortunate that our son is pretty savvy to his BioDad's and the SpermClan's crap. That and he did not say much when my wife told him "I am the CP and you will live with me until you are 18. You can live where ever you want after that but until you are an adult, you live where I live." He gave her a puzzled look and said "this is my home and my family, where else would I want to live?".

The conversation went on to cover the influence and poor decisions he had chosen to make at the behest of the SpermClan. He said "I know that I would not have a very good life there and would make bad decisions because that is what my (BioDad) and (SpermClan) do. I don't want that life". That pretty much pulled my wife’s teeth and ended the rant she was building up to.

We are also pretty fortunate that he did not turn 18 until after HS graduation. If he had turned 18 and decided to go live with the SpermIdiot he would have likely never finished HS.

The kid did go on to graduate from HS on time and with honors but unfortunately his first semester Sr year performance cost him a bunch of opportunities for college. We told him if he screwed the boarding school opportunity up that he was on his own for college until he proved to us he was a worthy investment for his mom and I to put our resources in to. If he had graduated from the boarding school he would have been eligible for in state tuition in three different states. As it was we moved a few weeks after he graduated from HS and now he is not eligible for in state tuition anywhere except the state he graduated in.

I am confident that he will recover and that we will help him with school. But not until he shows us significant progress in maturity and judgment.

I hope your SD figures it all out before it costs her dearly. It is sad when the biggest difficulty a kid has to overcome is a stupid parent.

Best regards,

prayerhelps's picture

Submitted by prayerhelps on Tue, 10/26/2010 - 8:46am

Totally agree w/you Rags---DH and I have always said the same thing about the CO---of course the BM is the one that will cancel and such. We just keep following our end as PC. So SD is stuck w/us until she turnes 18, which she says she will move w/BM then because of her "promises" of money. DH is of course praying SD will see the light and know it is best for her stay here until she graduates.

My BIO son sounds a lot similar to your case (are we married?).Except he will turn 18 before he graduates---in fact most of his senior year he will be 18, so I have already spoken to him about staying with me as he knows that I will be the "disciplined" one to get him through school to graduate. So far he has agreed that it is in his best interest to stay w/us.

Rags's picture

Submitted by Rags on Wed, 10/27/2010 - 11:07am

We may be married..... just don't tell my wife! :O

I am glad to hear that your BS is mature enough to know where his future will be best served as far as where he lives and who his primary parent is.

Good luck and best regards,