To file CPS report or not...
So enough is enough! My SD had a visit with her BM this past weekend to which her mother was absent most of the weekend because she was working. When we picked up SD her eye was swollen and bright red. We immediatly took her to a clinic to have her checked out. We also found out that two of the cats at her BM house had eye infections. Eye drops from Sunday were not working and had a temp of 102 so we took her to see an eye doc. Eye doc says its Pink eye and now is unable to go to school until healed. BM knew about this eye problem in bother daughter and cats and did nothing to prevent it or fix it. My SD has also come home with lice and flea bits on multiple occassions. The mother is on her 3rd live-in boyfriend in 2 months and we have found out in the beginning SD was sleeping in the same bed as BM and boyfriend. Since we brought the sleeping arragements to BMs attention she has now changed things so that SD sleeps in the same room as BM and boyfriend but in another bed. BM has visits every other weekend from Fridays at 3pm to Sundays at 8am. Most of the time BM is working and leaving SD with whoever is there to watch her, in some cases her 13 year old vindictive half sister. I could go on and on with all the stories we have about BM but I don't want to bore you. I would just like to know if anyone thinks this is worth filing a CPS report against mother or if I would be wasting my time. We would really like to have her home inspected for bad living conditions too. Any advice???
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I'm not going to lie to you I
I'm not going to lie to you I think cps will do pretty much nothing. Not saying they wont go out there to talk to her, but i think there is about 0 chance that they would substantiate on this. So I think it depends on how you think bm would react. If cps coming out and just speaking to her would make her stand up and make better decisions then if may be worthwhile-if it would just piss her off and cause more problems then I would say no. I did file a report against bm once when ss came home and told me that she left him at age 5 home alone with his sister, 7 for about 30 minutes. SS has severe adhd-so his maturity level at this point wasnt even at 5. It scared us in that if she did it one time perhaps she would continue to do it and for longer periods of time if nothing happened. Soo I filed the report, it was substantiated-which meant they monitored her for about 6 months-but it did wake her up a little. My bm is clueless-she really didnt see a problem with this and had dh or I told her not to do this she would have done it more simply to be diffiuclt. So in my case it worked out well. she never found out it was me-or even suspected. If she did trust me there'd be alot more drama than there is now.
I think you need to document,
I think you need to document, document, document. Dates, times and things that you see first hand. This will provide you with the proof you will need when not if you go to court. Because if this behavior continues you will have to take her to court or mediation or CPS will have to get involved. I would also take pictures of the eye!
So sorry a child had to go through this kind of neglect (meaning the eye and lack of attention to it). I however, don't feel that it's bad if the child is left with someone while bm needs to go to work. My fdh works every saturday and most of the times I do too, we have no other choice, but it's our short day and we leave the girls (11&6) with their grandpa who is happy to sit for us. We then rush them out of the house and go to the pool or anywhere else giving grandpa his free time (retirement) back.
Sometimes as a step parent you have no choice but to leave the children with a sitter. It's a fact, people have to work. I wouldn't consider that neglect.
Hope this helped. Good luck!
I think you need to document,
I think you need to document, document, document. Dates, times and things that you see first hand. This will provide you with the proof you will need when not if you go to court. Because if this behavior continues you will have to take her to court or mediation or CPS will have to get involved. I would also take pictures of the eye!
So sorry a child had to go through this kind of neglect (meaning the eye and lack of attention to it). I however, don't feel that it's bad if the child is left with someone while bm needs to go to work. My fdh works every saturday and most of the times I do too, we have no other choice, but it's our short day and we leave the girls (11&6) with their grandpa who is happy to sit for us. We then rush them out of the house and go to the pool or anywhere else giving grandpa his free time (retirement) back.
Sometimes as a step parent you have no choice but to leave the children with a sitter. It's a fact, people have to work. I wouldn't consider that neglect.
Hope this helped. Good luck!
When I mentioned the SD is
When I mentioned the SD is left home for her BM to go to work it is every weekend when she has a visit. Its like she doesn't care that she has a visit but that it makes her feel better just to have the SD at her house. Also, I don't have a problem with her being left home with a babysitter but when she is left home for long periods of time with this new boyfriend of her that we know nothing about is what disturbs me. The only thing we know about this guy is that they met at a car wash where the BM works. We don't even know his Name. Also, there are many many people in and out of her house all weekend long. The BM just finished her drug court program and still hangs out with the people she met in this program. The SD has told us she stays up really late at night because they are having parties at the house too. I don't know what all goes on while she is over there and I don't feel she is really trying to care for the SD and maintaining her best intrest but only keeping visits and staying in her life for the fun of driving myself and DH completely nuts!
Thanks for the advice.
Ahhhh...I see things more
Ahhhh...I see things more clearly now! Yes, that would be a problem (parties, drugs, people in and out)!!! Definitely a huge problem. I'm with the other poster, take her to court try to get supervised visitation if you can.
Poor child!!! Poor you and dh!!! That's horrible, knowing you are sending her to be with someone that may place her in harms way.
The mother is on her 3rd
The mother is on her 3rd live-in boyfriend in 2 months and we have found out in the beginning SD was sleeping in the same bed as BM and boyfriend. Since we brought the sleeping arragements to BMs attention she has now changed things so that SD sleeps in the same room as BM and boyfriend but in another bed.
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COURT!!!! If my DH found out something like that we wouldn't be in court for a CO it would be a murder trial! Can't say the entire world wouldn't praise him as hero from ridding the world of the Evil Troll....