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SD's first school day as a Senior in High School!

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 8:58pm

So here we are! Yay!

SD has been back and forth with her mom. Some days she is giving her a chance, others she is angry and railing about the way her mom is, the person she is.

I took SD school shopping this year, and we pretty much got everything she needed. BM offered - because she will always offer to take SD shopping or something fun - but SD didn't really need anything else, so we had SD tell BM to talk to DH about school clothes. We are going to ask BM to pay half. SD even contributed to her school clothes this year by using gift cards she had received over the past year. Her and I finally had a fun shopping day. I don't get to do it with her often because her mom always goes so over the top. This time, I got to spend time with her and have a little fun. And the best part was that she actually bought clothes that she can use in an internship or for a job... more grown up looking, stylish clothes! Smile Nothing too babyish or slutty or anything! Yay

Anyway - DH's mom had been talking a few weeks ago about how DH gave BM her mom's (DH's grandmom's) wedding and engagement rings. MIL had given them to DH to give to BM when they got engaged, and had hoped that BM would give them to SD someday. So, SD asks BM about them! (Ugh) This was weeks ago.

Today, was SD's first day of school. SD left our apartment to catch the bus downstairs at 7:00am. After school this afternoon, SD told me that her mom was downstairs waiting for her in her car and she had a card for her. The card was a "I'm so proud of you! Congratulations! I knew you could do this you can do anything!" card with a note from her mom that said "I saved this for you"... and inside was a small net bag with a chain with the engagement and wedding ring on it from DH's grandma.

SD was thrilled. Took it to school to show everyone. And when I said "That's nice of your mom" while gritting my teeth, SD sighed and said "yeah". Awww now her and her mom have another nice memory!!

NOW FOR MY F*CKING VENT!! Smile ha! And yes, I am being petty and just UGHHHH here...

1. F*cking BM. She's not here after school, when I came home feeling like sh*t because I'm still sick, but we ran to Office Max to get school supplies because SD already has projects due this Friday! So she didn't come home from work to go to Office Max to come home and make dinner, and then sign all of the appropriate paperwork for SD - permission slips, etc. She got to show up in the morning with this gift - when she has the day off! UGH...

2. F*cking Assh*le BM. She "saved" that for SD. Yeah. Of course, she found it now after SD asked about it, and decided to give it to SD today.

3. F*cking B*tch BM. She takes yet another day - a big one, I'll grant you that - but still - A GIFT OF AN HEIRLOOM AND A CARD because the kid is a senior? It's this kind of sh*t that makes SD feel somewhat entitled!!! And DH and I, well, we just wished her luck and you know sent her on her way, but that was about it.

Now - I will say that this morning - we made a joke and I drew a heart on her hand like the little girl in kindergarten on the commercial because she thought that was funny. So I guess I am "upstaged" ! Smile hahaha! I have to laugh at my own jealousies.

But really - her mom and dad's wedding and engagement ring on her first day of school as a Senior? Besides my emotional attachment to it all, did she have to give it to her today? And SD thinks it's wonderful!

So yeah, I know I'm just being a little put off because I am here being the mom... and BM waltzes in with this great gift and yet again - it becomes something special for her and SD. And also WHAT ABOUT DH!!??? Doesn't he get to give that to SD? He even said to me on the phone (he's traveling for work again) that BM should have given it back to HIM 5 years ago! Or at least included him in that gift. F*cking seeyounexttuesday.

I'm cranky.

Comments

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:08pm

She just has to give her something for these "milestones". I've had issues with her sense of appropriateness the entire time because it sets SD up for entitlement and spoiling.

For her confirmation, we gave SD a nice Rosary and a statue and a book about the Saint's name she chose. Her mom gave her a Swarovski crystal necklace as well as a beautiful pearlized engraved box from Things Remembered. Her mom's family gave her a charm bracelet with all Swarovski charms on it.

For Easter, we gave her a kid/teenage Easter Basket. Her mom gave her a suitcase (literally a small carry on suitcase) filled with candy, shoes, a dress, and more!

When she was younger, her mom bought her a deck set of furniture for her outdoor deck that SD never sat on.

I vascillate between thinking - "Oh how nice, beautiful keepsake gifts" and "WTF? This is wayy over the top!"

And I think it sets SD up for a lot of trouble later with boyfriends and friends who won't overpraise her for normal things. A gift, a card... ok? An heirloom??? I would think that would go to her on her own engagement or graduation from college? I don't know!

And like I said - SD gets sooo caught up in the pretty shiny expensive things, and I look like the hard ass from another era because I don't approve of trying to over compensate with gifts.

Thanks for understanding! At least I know I'm not crazy!

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:49pm

You know now I'm getting angrier, and all I can honestly say I'm not sure BM knew what she was doing. I think that's the other part of it. She makes me so angry I think she's so ignorant, that I honestly think she thought "Oh! First Day of Senior year in High School! I need a big gift and SD just asked me about this, so I'll give her this!!" and didn't really think about the meaning and the specialness of what it really is. At least that's how it kind of strikes me.. she needed a BIG gift so she took the easiest thing for her to give that would blow SD away.

And it... I don't know... It means so much to SD for the right reasons, and I feel like BM just gave it away for a non-event. And I also am getting more upset that she didn't even consult DH. I mean, yeah, he gave it to her, but it was his grandmother's passed down to his mother, passed down to him... to give to her. Couldn't she at least have INCLUDED him in the gift of it?

FUCK MEEEEEEE!!! I'm gonna go take some nyquil and try to calm down.

Thanks ladies for cheering me up and making me laugh too...

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Wed, 09/08/2010 - 9:12pm

Thanks Naturalmom! Thanks so much! The funny part was BM showed up with a camera today to take a picture of SD. And I"m like - I didn't even think of that!! ha! Like I get it, and it's cute but I didn't even think of taking a picture on her first day of school. Taking one every day would be kind of cute and annoying as they got older, but fun to torture them with.

Anyway, BM took a picture of SD outside and wanted to take one of her getting on the bus, but SD told her no because it would embarrass her! That's funny to me!

I do know that you do all the work. And it's not that I think either of us regret that decision. It's just WHY ? Why do they think they are a parent, when it's in name only?

Here's a drink to you!! cheers!