We can't have peace!
My DH was gone and we had a great day until SD16 came home asking for a trampoline. (previously posted) We stayed up until 2 in the morning talking about the stupid trampoline. I hate wasting all this energy on the crap we have to deal with due to the skids.
I guess I need to chill sometimes. I raised my bio kids differently.
Saying/Correcting things to my skids continues to be a problem for me. Trivial things bother me (not finishing your drink and leaving it on the dining room table after EACH AND EVERY MEAL, not changing the toilet paper roll in the bathroom, leaving globs of spit with toothpaste in the guest bathroom sink, leaving shoes in the middle of the living room, leaving empty containers in the refrigerator, not taking your own dog out for potty breaks, putting more trash in the trash can when you can see it's full but you don't want to bother taking it out, knocking on the bedroom door to see what we're doing, leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor, letting your bedroom for sooo long you can't the floor and it stinks, etc..). All of this is corrected by me. My skids have no chores!! I think that's wrong. Don't you? Shouldn't all children be participating members of the family? I thought the point was to teach them responsibility so they can be responsible adults.
So my bio kids aren't perfect, but because I raised them, they already know these little things bug me. In fact, many of those things bug them too. I my BS16 leaves his towel on the bathroom sink/counter, all I have to do is say, "Hey, what about that towel?" and he knows what to do. If my BS19 leaves his dish on the dining room table all I say is, "Hey the plate.". So it's not they don't ever make mistakes, but when they do, I feel so free to say something. But with the skids.......
So how do I do this? My skids are SD16 and SS22---they've been taught differently for all their lives and now here I am. Forced upon them and expected to run this home the way I see fit (according to my DH, who I know loves the hell out of me and wants nothing more than a happy home).
Any advice?
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Comments
Did you even read the rest of
Did you even read the rest of what she wrote? I don't understand your fixation on the trampoline. Strange.
I think so too. It is a pain
I think so too. It is a pain in the ass and she doesnt want to deal with it. period. and frankly she shouldnt have to.
I would say no too. Marriage and co parenting is all about compromise....maybe the DH needs to compromise on this one.
Thank you for the support.
Thank you for the support. And, yes, when I start typing here, many times, I'm pissed off or just sad!! So sometimes, I jump from subject to subject. I don't want to ALWAYS burden my DH with my "little things" and simply typing things helps me feel better. After reading my last blog, I see all of my writing mistakes, but I don't really care; I just need to get things off my chest.
For sueu2: i don't want the damned trampoline because:
1. IN MY OPINION, what the hell does a 16 need a trampoline for?
2. IN MY OPINION, it's an eye-sore
3. we're constructing and adding a big assed trampoline isn't going to help the workers
4. she already had one, and after a month, stopped using it
5. my DH is the one who has to mow the yard and pull the damned thing from corner to corner just to do a chore no one else volunteers to do(SS21 does NOTHING)- this is what happened last time she had one
6. SD16 does NOTHING in this home to help me or her father
7. it's my money too and I don't want one
8. the insurance would go up and I pay that too!!
I respect your opinion if you think a 16 year old should have a trampoline.
I agree, the skids need chores. Has anyone tried having a "family meeting" to work things like this out? If you have, did it work? Has anyone had success re-molding teen skids? I'd like to know.
"I agree, the skids need
"I agree, the skids need chores. Has anyone tried having a "family meeting" to work things like this out? If you have, did it work? Has anyone had success re-molding teen skids? I'd like to know."
we have had many many family meetings with ss17 about his doing chores. its the same thing repeated over and over again.
1)we all agree on a set amount of chores and consequences. he doesn't do them. nothing happens.
2)i switched to writing everything out after the meeting (including the agreed consequences for not doing chores), giving ss17 his own copy, and posting another copy in the kitchen. he doesn't do them, dh doesn't check, nothing happens.
3)we switched to me checking on chores, and handing out consequences if they are not done. ss17 comes up with excuse after excuse why they are not done, dh lets him off.
4)i threw the paper in the garbage, no-one noticed
Has anyone had success
Has anyone had success re-molding teen skids?
++++++++++++++
I did not re mold a skid, BUT, before I got married to my DH, we went over things that we both knew we had to have straight in our house for everyone to be happy. (Him and I).
One of my deals was that all kids have chores. SS never had chores before but he was not going to live in the house and do NOTHING. When he was every other weekend, he really had none. And I am ok with that.
But when he went here full time, he has to pull his weight as much as everyone else.
People need to really talk these kinds of things out before getting married and living in a step situation. DH and I did and we STILL run into some issues. Not a lot, because we talked about A LOT of issues before we got married.
Before getting married, talk about, money, all things to do with skids, money, your kids, college, money, what if skid wants to live with you, and again…money. It really helped us.
Willow2010 You're absolutely
Willow2010
You're absolutely correct; talking things over before we got married would have been the smarter thing to do. Unfortunately, we didn't and now we have, what we have.