Thinking about giving BM more CS
We're crazy, right?
BM really stuck it to DH in 2002, when the CS was assessed. However, she hasn't moved to get it raised since then. Meanwhile, he's been getting 4% raises and longevity raises, and has been promoted twice - his income has doubled. And, he's getting promoted for the final time at the end of next year. That's a big one, his income will go up another $950/month.
So DH is thinking about letting his current pay grade slip this winter, to goad BM into filing for a CS modification before the last promotion. That will also be the LAST CS modification, as she won't be able to file again before SD turns 18.
DH is tired of being careful talking about his job to SD14, because she tells BM everything. It'd be kinda nice to be completely honest about his job - BM trash-talks DH and calls him a loser; it'd be nice to be able to tell SD that her dad is awesome; did you know that only 1 out of 100 people in the Army make it to his pay grade? That's worth bragging about.
Thoughts? Go for it, or let it slide for as long as possible?
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No way. Who cares what she
:jawdrop: No way. Who cares what she wants. I agree, put monies away for the child. Can you say college, marriage, home ? That will be more remembered than her getting more.
We used to overpay by quite a
We used to overpay by quite a bit. When we got custody of my stepson, we continued to pay the full amount of support even though BM only had one child living with her. When my stepdaughter moved in with us, we still paid "child support" even though there were no children living with BM at all. Two reasons: (1) We didn't want the kids to feel any more guilty about moving in with us than they already did. And (2) It was "hush money". Throwing $600 a month at her was easier than fighting it out in court. And $600 a month in hush money was nothing compared to the $2,700 a month we had been paying for years.
We are in the same situation
We are in the same situation my husband is doing very well but we have to keep it all quiet as well - I hate all of the secrecy. We actually did not go to court for CS my DH named an amount and the BM was very happy with it. It leads us to suspect that she is making a lot more than what she tries to lead us to believe. While I would love for SS to know about all of the promotions and raises it would just cause problems and probably make BM jealous that he is doing as well as when they were married. Right before she left him his company downsized and he was let go and his new job paid him 1/3 what he was making. We are actually putting money in a 529 college account and have been doing so for the last 5 years - he is giving enough to the BM to satisfy her and when SS goes to college we will be able to help him directly and every time DH gets a promotion or raise we just quietly celebrate.
i see where you're coming
i see where you're coming from.... you want to do it before the next pay raise, so she can't get a chunk of it......
that's a tough one, if she never pursues an increase then your screwing yourself, by giving her more now, but if she does after the pay increase then she'll get a bigger chunk..
talk to an attorney and see if the 529 would prevent her from getting more.... probably not.
SD does respect both of us,
SD does respect both of us, actually. (we're both in uniform) It's BM who calls us losers behind our backs while saying 'bless your heart' to our faces.
Honestly, I'm in the Army because it's good pay for a job I enjoy, not because of any sense of duty or serving the country. They pay us well enough - we make well over six figures between the two of us.
The big issue is paying for BM's lifestyle when she's flat-out told SD that if she doesn't get enough scholarships to pay for college, she's getting kicked out - NONE of the CS is going toward college or even toward school extras - it's always, 'we can't afford that'.
Our 529 is in our name with
Our 529 is in our name with SS getting it -on the condition that he goes to college - if he chooses not to go then the money reverts back to us. This has nothing to do with CS - it is above and beyond what CS would be. This cannot be used to supplement CS or to block the CP from getting more CS.
Starfish, that's it exactly.
Starfish, that's it exactly.
Besides being uncomfortable with the secrecy, it'd be outstanding to not have to worry about BM getting a wild hair up her ass and dragging DH back to court after this. There is literally no way she can - it's either 3 years or 15% change in CS; there will be exactly 3 years left, and all of his raises combined over the next 4 years won't bump the CS amount up that much.
We can afford the extra CS; we live well within our means, and DH signed a contract until 2016 so he won't be losing his job. Yeah, it sucks to be paying for BM's huge house and new convertible, but no more tiptoeing around BM so she won't file papers? Not playing poor and feeding BM's ego about how much better she and her DH are than us? It might be that this is a self-respect issue.
I honestly don't know.
Darn double post
Darn double post
There's a few differences in
There's a few differences in the situation. Louisiana only mandates until the age of 18 or high school graduation, whichever is later. This is written into DH's decree; CS ENDS in May of 2014, not January 2017 when SD14 turns 21. That means if the CS is recalculated next June, there's no way she can come after us again.
Also, if BM tried to claim a reduction of CS due to having to support her second child, we can drag her husband's income into the calculations, since her husband adopted her younger child. They canNOT come after my income in any way.
Even if BM were able to get away with quitting her job and claiming NO income, LA has a "willful un(der)employment clause; She would still be 'credited' with the ability to make what she is now; there is NO WAY CS would go up over $1000/month for one child, and would likely only go up to $850 or so from $622. That's just over 10% of DH's gross pay, and his share of our bills is not much more.
We're finally at the point where there's a light at the end of the tunnel, and it's not a train.
i have been thinking about
i have been thinking about this.... and i think if she hasn't come after dh yet for more cs, maybe she doesn't think she can since she cleaned his clock so well the first time..... if it increased to $850 now, you're looking at close to $10,000..... or maybe she thinks she can't afford an attorney to take him back to court??
i would keep my mouth closed and continue the secrecy of your household income/promotions around sd ~~ that's what dh & i do, we play the never have any money card in front of skids.