Impressed with DH's counter-move
About three weeks ago, DH's kid asked him about school clothes this year. He gave her a budget amount and said he'd be happy to take her during her last week of summer visits with him.
His kid sends him a text last Wednesday. This long, drawn out story about how some of her friends and their moms are going to a large mall together, her mother will be going too. His kid asked if he would send her the money he promised her ASAP so she could go.
I asked...what did you send back to her?
DH said he ignored the text (he was at work anyway) and then gets a call on his work line from his kid. Why didn't you respond, mom needs an answer now so we can make plans. His response completely shocked the hell out of me.
"X, I'm putting your school clothes on a credit card. I wasn't planning on giving you cash. You'll just have to wait until you come over to do your shopping."
She got really quiet. Said okay and that she'd see him in a few weeks. No arguments, no BS and best of all....no follow-up texts from Uberskank calling him a bad father! So DH managed to avoid a huge conflict and kept Uberskank from getting her greedy, harpy hands on money that should be going to DH's kid.
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Good for him.
Good for him.
I'd be lying if I didn't
I'd be lying if I didn't admit this really shocked me. He lost sight of his testicles and spine sometime last spring and started giving into every demand that came from Uberskank (through his kid). I'm taking this as a good sign and a baby step towards Uberskank NOT running our home.
He's learning the hard way not to give his kid cash. His kid let it slip last time, the money he gave her ended up in Uberskank's hands. Along with gift cards he gives to his kid specifically so she can buy new clothes. She is always showing up in tattered, ripped and dirty clothes he bought her over a year ago.
We rarely, if ever, see any of the new clothes he buys for her or anything she would have purchased with gift cards/money she's received from him since she moved back with Uberskank.
He said he didn't give in because there is on way in hell HIS child is going to start HS on the wrong foot. He wants her to at least have a weeks worth of decent clothes for her to wear (or enough things to mix/match to give the impression she's wearing something different every day).
Well, hopefully, he'll keep
Well, hopefully, he'll keep "getting" it. HS can be so hard as it is. Having fun clothes is part of the fun.
She really wants this certain
She really wants this certain style of hoodie in multiple colors, which will eat up a lot of her budget. I asked her to plan clothes around what she really needs and then save $$ for one or two fun items to wear. That way she gets both, what she wants and what she needs.
DH loved my idea. His kid hated it.
Do you mean that CS should
Do you mean that CS should cover school clothes? Hahahahahah........that would imply Uberskank puts her children's needs before her own.
DH doesn't think it's right to punish his kid over Uberskank's inability/unwillingness to care for her children. Well, last year was the exception but that is a REALLY long story. Normally, he doesn't mind spitting out the extra $$ to make sure his kid has decent clothes, shoes and a coat for winter. If she lived with us he would have worked it into his budget anyway.
hahahahaha...i am laughing
hahahahaha...i am laughing with you!!!! Our own BM (I like to think it stands for bowel movement
) doesn't use that money for her own kids, either. The skids get crappy clothes (ripped, old, stained) and BM gets her ciggies. She is all about the money for herself. We're going for custody and my DH asks for the kids and no CS from her! What's the reaction, you say? I bet you'll never guess- No way. I need the CS. Because it's all about the money. Is there a school these BM's go to to learn this stuff?
No they sure didn't.
No they sure didn't.
Whenever his kid calls with a long fairy tale requiring DH to pay out some cash, it means Uberskank made up the story. DH can always tell when it's a sincere need on his kid's part. Or when it's an attempt by Uberskank to get rich quick.
Our situation is a little
Our situation is a little different. My DH kids are both adopted and the only reason I say that is when they adopted the second child...finances became tight and the wifey couldn't handle it, so she bailed and left the kids with him. In the divorce, he agreed that if she left the kids in his custody and left his retirement alone, he wouldn't ask for CS. So..no CS from ex wife which is fine. She took it a step further and has never given $$ for anything...school clothes, school supplies, doctor visits, medicines...nothing. No financial responsibilty ever. The funny part is...now that the skids are spending more time with her...she thinks she is entitled to CS and has threatened to take us to court. We told her "Bring it on"!!!