Skids ignore me and the house is like Neverland!
It's been a few week since SD9 and SS8 came to our house for summer visitation. They never ever talk to me! When I said "good morning!", SS8 remians silent... When I ask SD9 or SS8 "are you guys hungry?" There is a pose, then they look around and, "where is Dad?". And they go to find thier dad (my DH) and ask what is dinner. So only words they talk to me is "where is dad?". I think it is very rude!
I am feeding every day, cleaning their room, washing their clothes.... But if I don't do these, my house gets mess and disastarous!!! Emotinal disengagement is so difficult when I need to be around skids, who are screaming and talking all the time. DH doesnt' want to decipline anything because he has them only summer, xmas/thanks giving, and spring. They can do whatever they do and behavie whatevery they want. I actually pointed out that it is rude that skids even don't answer to me, but DH just defend them "oh, there were disracted by game..." And he cleary stated he just wants the kids to have a "good time", so he will not even point out when they eat like a pig. That is just WRONG! I told him it is not good for them in a long run, but he of course doesn't listen.
I hate summer, I hate their visitation, I hate my life!!!!!
Veinting is a wondarful thing 
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Thanks your comment BF! I am
Thanks your comment BF!
I am not sure if they think it is rude... I don't know BM told them to not talk to me or they have nothing to talk to me now. This is a 4th summer, but this is the first time they ignore me. DH and I argue every time if I bring up anything relating to skids, so I cannto talk/ask much to DH (flustlating!!!)
I can ignore back, but I still need/want to take care of meal, laundry, cleaning. My DS14 and DD12 stay with us year around, so I feed them all. SD9 is very picky eater, so DH preapre something else when she doesn't eat what I prepared. If I don't clean/cook/wash one day, the house turns to be a pigsty >< SD9 keeps our dog and cat to skid's room to pet them (they live in an appartment so she exited to have a pet), and the dog and cat peed and pooped in ther room many times. I said don't lock the amimals in their room (through DH), but she keeps doing and the room is very stincky! DH feels sorry for them to sleep in the stincky room (bah! then say NO to her!), and I carpet shampoo every day because DH cannot clean well.
I really feel better when I vent! Nobody to talk about this around me.
I agree with cool and calm .
I agree with cool and calm . It is up to the father to guide his children and bring them up with respect for other people and their feelings. He needs to correct this asap !
I think it's because they
I think it's because they don't want to do it. They would rather someone else do it for them.
But I don't mean to say that's how ALL dads are. There are lots of great dads out there, doing the hard stuff!
Yes, I agree! Its up to the
Yes, I agree! Its up to the fatehr to guide his children! He is a typical guilty-dad, disney-land dad, etc. Even we only have them summer (actually 10 weeks is looooonnnng!), he should decipline them. He doesn't listen to me. It seems he wants to keep this (no decipline) another couple of years and when SD turns to 12, makes her to choose Dad to live then start to decipline. He is a firm believer "children first, paret/spouse second" while I beleive "build strong marriage and take care of children".
Stop talking to them, stop
Stop talking to them, stop doing things for them. That is rude and thier father should be saying something to them. You aren't the maid/cook, you are thier Father's WIFE.
Oh yes she can stop with the
Oh yes she can stop with the cooking also.
Have your DH cook their meals and / or grab them something while he is out.
I would not even think of "serving" children that are completely disrespectful. Never.
If that doesn't work, serve them microwavable dinners, by dad, of course.
Quit cleaning for them too! To earn respect, you must show that you deserve it. Put your foot down.
Good luck.
The one of the reason I
The one of the reason I need/want to cook is "budget". We put all our money together and pay bills. DH has zero sence to save or spend wisely. So if I let him cook, he go grocery every day and spend a fortune, or bring something from fast food for 4 kids and 2 adults. We keep paying CS to BM during skids visitation, so thier visit is financially burden every year - of course he wants to take them some fun place and a few weeks of day camp too. Basically DD12 is watching them, but not for all 10 weeks. We save up every month for skids' summer visitation, so we don't have extra $ for extra grocery or carpet replacement (their room is nasty now ><).
But, I can try to stop laundry and ask DH to do it. I feel mean if I do for my kids and don't do it for his kids and I wanted avoid a conflict, but its been 3 weeks they only said to me "where is Dad?" and DH doesn't seem care at all.