I didn't get a Happy Mother's day from My BF or his daughter. But I look back and I am not a stepmother to his daughter nor am I his "baby momma" so I guess they don't have to say anything to me...but to just have been appreciated, it would have been nice.....

Hi Mich,
A friend and I celebrate SM's day together. We're both SM's of adult SD's. Her husband does acknowledge Mother's Day, making breakfast, flowers etc. My DH does not although my MIL sends me a card and a present. My SD? Even when we were close she never did anything for me on birthdays, Mother's Day, Xmas.

My friend and I get a manicure, have dinner, see a movie whatever. It's fun and we can appreciate each other's situations. If you don't have anyone to do this with - treat yourself. Take a day off from chores and go get a mani-pedi or whatever works for you. For me, being a SM was a thankless job but I can take care of myself and treat myself. It would be nice if DH did something for me but he is resentful over my disengagment from SD - so be it.

You deserve a treat and an acknowledgement of all that you do for your family. If they don't take care of that - shame on them. Announce in a clear voice to DH and SK's that you're taking a day off and have fun!

I got nothing yesterday, despite making sure SS had something for his mom.
FH forgot, even, to acknowledge me (and my cooking,cleaning,laundry, driving, etc.) that I do for his child. I actually think we might have had an argument b/c me saying I had anxiety about a 2 week trip for the 3 of us this summer FH felt was a direct negative comment about his son!
I don't want any acknowledgment from SS-- I wouldn't expect it. But kind of do from FH. I think I like Glynne's idea better! Now I just need to find another step mom to join forces with!

I got a text message from the SD and a voicemail from the SS -- I think that's the most I've ever received from them, even counting my birthday. I used to want some acknowledgement for what I do for them, but since I've stopped going out of my way for them, there's not much to thank me for anymore!

steppinginsf
just curious, why do YOU make sure SS had something for his mom? If he is in school, they usually make something for mom. I do not have the SDs make/buy something for their mom. That is between them and their mom. SDs are 11 and 9. If they forget, that is a problem that BM needs to address.

Also, why do you NOT expect acknowledgement from SS? You take on the role of mother when he is in your house.

Your FH should have done something for you. Even if it's just making you breakfast.

Good question about why I do that! I also helped him make a holiday gift for her (she is Muslim, so it was sort of a New Year's present). I wanted to make candles for some of my relatives so I thought it was a nice way to see if he wanted to do it with me. BM, of course, never thanked me- not that I would ever expect it!
As for Mother's Day? Not sure why I asked him about the gift- I actually almost hate BM- she is a manipulative, narcissistic person. She didn't make sure SS called FH last week on his birthday. She never helps SS prepare anything for his dad. I guess I asked him b/c I consider myself a thoughtful person?
And FH felt pretty bad when I pointed out to him at 10pm last night that even he hadn't even thought to give me any acknowledgment or thanks yesterday (he did, however, remember to say "happy Mother's Day to BM when he called her to arrange SS's drop off to her Sunday AM- and then wondered why I erupted).
Not related to any step-issues, but I have recently started to see FH as a fairly self-centered person. Those are not happy or settling feelings to have!

Good question about why I do that! I also helped him make a holiday gift for her (she is Muslim, so it was sort of a New Year's present). I wanted to make candles for some of my relatives so I thought it was a nice way to see if he wanted to do it with me. BM, of course, never thanked me- not that I would ever expect it!
As for Mother's Day? Not sure why I asked him about the gift- I actually almost hate BM- she is a manipulative, narcissistic person. She didn't make sure SS called FH last week on his birthday. She never helps SS prepare anything for his dad. I guess I asked him b/c I consider myself a thoughtful person?
And FH felt pretty bad when I pointed out to him at 10pm last night that even he hadn't even thought to give me any acknowledgment or thanks yesterday (he did, however, remember to say "happy Mother's Day to BM when he called her to arrange SS's drop off to her Sunday AM- and then wondered why I erupted).
Not related to any step-issues, but I have recently started to see FH as a fairly self-centered person. Those are not happy or settling feelings to have!

Yep its a big fat kick in the face

As Alwaysme said...it's a kick in the face... to say the least.

Buddy Wuddy went to Mommy Wommys, and DH on the way to drop him off did a quick stop at the drugstore to pick me up a card from my Biokids...and a dusty bottle of yucky perfume straight off the shelf.... whatever.. I don't know why he bothered. It's great to feel appreciated...especially since I do 90% of the parenting in our household..not only for our daughter, and my son...but his kid too...

Ah well...hope Mommy Wommy liked her gift.