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dated, he had a child we got back together.....

Ash's picture

Submitted by Ash on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:27pm

So, I'm currently dating a man that I dated for 2 years in the past my "first love" we been seperated for over 2 years but remained friends, in the two years he had a child by another women. They had no relationship prior to her getting pregnant other then they has sex. anyhow we go back together and his daughter is one. I'm having many and many doubts how to go about the situation. I've never seen her in person thus far. Were "in love" again! and it's getting serious and I think it's about that time I meet her! but I'm nervous not sure what to do, how to act and so on! I'm nervous because the BM has already made it clear she does not want me in her life yet, but were ready to start our life together!I'm tryign to be respectful of everyone's feeling my boyfriend his daughter and the birth mother! but at the end of the day not everyone is going to be happy so I'm not sure what to do?

Comments

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 04/23/2010 - 9:04am

delete

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:38pm

I agree with SVS. If you are going to continue with this relationship then you need to not worry about what is going to upset BM. Just you being there is going to upset her. Dont worry about anyone but you, your BF and his daughter. The sooner you let BM know that she is not in control the better. Your BF needs to be on the same page with this right off the bat. If hes not then thats a telling sign that you are in for a world of drama with you BF trying to please his ex and not you. Just my thoughts of course.

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:38pm

Have to agree with SVS. Frito's mother made it QUITE clear that she was not in the least happy with the fact that he would have a SM ( I think she still had feeling for DH too). I just let it be known that I wasn't going anywhere and Frito and I get along so she's cool with it now. We AREN'T friends by any means...but we are tolerable of one another.

****I can do bad all by myself****

LMR120's picture

Submitted by LMR120 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 3:51pm

LOL i know what you mean. BFs BM is that way. Here is a funny you annoying example of that. Been with BF for 5 years. One night SS is crying his eyes out because he wants to go to his moms house because he is scared and mommy sleeps with him so i call BM and talk to her about the issues her sleeping with the kids is causing at our house because stupid me as a mother myself thought that she would be upset knowing that her son is crying so hard that he puked. Guess what her response was? Well if you were in the picture. ARE YOU SERIOUS!!! 5 years later youre still on this kick.

NachoMama's picture

Submitted by NachoMama on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 5:42pm

Frito's mom used to be a big old pain in the a**...she's chilled out now that she has her own man. Chapoopa's mom on the other hand is and always will be a stain! She's not doing it because she wants DH though...she just wants DH and I to be as miserable as she is. I have NO dealings with her because we CAN NOT be civil to one another. I have tried but it gets me nowhere...so I just let him deal with that crazy lunatic!

****I can do bad all by myself****

stepmom2one's picture

Submitted by stepmom2one on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 6:25pm

Like I have told other women here. She is just a person. Don't worry about this or be nervous. Treat her as you would if you meet anyone for the first time.

She is no one special, she had a child. So did I, so did a lot of other people here. Big deal, she deserves no reward or special treatment.

soverysad's picture

Submitted by soverysad on Fri, 04/23/2010 - 9:04am

delete

Gia's picture

Submitted by Gia on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 7:26pm

Like most have said,

Worry about what would make your man happy, not BM... not for one second...

Sincerely,

G

"I will die on my feet before I live on my knees"

StepX2's picture

Submitted by StepX2 on Tue, 04/20/2010 - 9:03pm

What are your BF's feelings about you meeting his daughter?

"It is impossible for anyone to learn what they think they already know". - Epictetus