The Weekend is Near--Boo for me!
I used to love the weekends. Time to rest and relax, clean my house, cook (I love to cook--very therapuetic), hang out with the old man. At this point in my life...the weekends suck. I asked to work Saturdays (even though I don't have to). Might as well make money...nothing else to do. I can't really cook because most of the time my bf's nine year old daughter (who lives full time with us) is asking, "what are you doing" "that sounds gross" "why are you doing that" Five minutes later....."what are you doing" "why are you doing that" "I'm hungry" "I'm bored" "where is my daddy" Five more minutes...."look at my rabbit, he's puffy" "what are you doing""why is the dog laying down". I worry about her being in the kitchen when I cook because she thinks it's a place to play and she is very careless and I don't want her to get hurt. Otherwise I would love to let her help me but she just isn't mature enough. My grown daughter used to love to do that when she was that age. It is always very loud (yelling, screaming, whining)so no rest. Hard to clean the house when you have to clean around things, and hanging out with the old man aint gonna happen either. When he is home...his daughter demands every minute of his time. He takes her anywhere she wants to go, buys her anything she wants, and when I go with...I walk behind them as they stroll hand and hand. Maybe I'm just a bitch...maybe just jealous...I don't know. I feel really guilty and terrible about how I feel...Will this child ever grow out of this immaturity...will it get any better? I tell myself...she'll grow out of it...Right? Am I delusional? I am a very passive, laid back, very easy to get along with person. I have a lot of patience so why does this little girl get on my nerves so bad.
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I know you're right. I feel
I know you're right. I feel so hurt by always being second. I guess I need to start making time for myself...go places by myself or with my son. Let DH and his daughter do their thing by themselves (that is the way that SD wants it anyway because her dad is much easier manipulated without me there)...I am tired of feeling like this. I know that DH will be upset(he always wants me to go everywhere with him) but maybe it could be a wakeup call or maybe he will tell me to leave but I can't do this anymore. I do know I love him and I would be absolutely devastated if it ended.
You have a VERY similar
You have a VERY similar story to mine. My H has a daughter the same age. She also does the same things. We have full custody also....so breaks are few. SHe does have a mom which occassionaly takes her. The only way we get a break is if we get a sitter. SO yes at times i also hate the weekends.....I also go to work, gym, friends etc.
I have put my foot down about us having alone time and it does happen. THis is important. You cant just have alone time in the bedroom, there is more to a relationship than that! I must agree with crayon you need to talk to your husband about this . Things will not change with her unless he changes them.
Also I found that good freinds help. People i can just go to and talk, scream, whatever. Hang in there jojo. hugs!
Thank you all for your
Thank you all for your heartfelt comments...I don't have a family or friends that live close so this really helps! And your right doglover1, the only time alone we have is in the bedroom. Do you know what I would give to go the movies or even sit next to my bf on the couch and hold his hand or feel his arm around me without a nine and half year old girl laying on his lap (she sits on his lap in the movies too lol)? It would be sheer bliss.
Wow I'm glad to see it isn't
Wow I'm glad to see it isn't just me who feels the same way about the hand holding thing...honestly I am humiliated. It is embarrassing when she is nonstop all over him in public too....people look at them kinda weird sometimes. Don't get me wrong.... Holding hands with dad is fine sometimes... Giving dad a hug just because sometimes is ok too.... Cuddling for a few minutes on the couch is fine. This girl's clinginess to her father is not normal...I've never seen anything like it.
Crayon you really know your
Crayon you really know your s**t. You are so on the mark. It does seem she does a lot more hanging on him when she wants to ask him for something and he gives in a lot easier when she is lovin on him...hmmm...does make sense. I do get blamed for a lot of things that happen already..e.i. I got my bf's daughter a puppy...one of the girls at work had some puppies born and I got her one. Well because of the poor training/lack of training(when he misbehaved he was kicked and yelled at instead of being trained and made to obey the right way) and attention...this dog was agressive and we had to take him to the local animal adoption place because he bit the gas man. I was blamed for that because I got her the dog and she didn't want it anyway because she didn't pick it out. I was only trying to be nice but I got blamed for all the trouble he caused.
LOL at Crayon's post about
LOL at Crayon's post about going to the mall. I honestly have hoped that other patrons would think I was not with them...One day at Home Depot she rode on one of those big carts (for lumber) and she was laying down on it like a bed...I told my bf she was going to get hurt a couple times and that he should make her get up. Thanks to God I went over to look at the flooring while the bf and her were in a different isle. When I returned to find them...She wasn't laying on the thing anymore. I asked my bf if she had finally done what he asked her to do and he told me no...a store employee told them that she would have to not ride on the cart or they would have to leave the store. LOL...thank the Lord I wasn't around them when it happened! LOL