Remind him that he has 2 daughters and that he doesn't want the youngest to grow up hating him.

Welcome, Palomj. I think you'll find many, many women on this site who are experiencing similar challenges.

Is there any way to discuss how you feel with your DH? If not, I recommend couple's counselling to sort these issues out. From what I've experienced, and learned here, the only way to be happy in a blended family is if both parents make decisions together, as a couple, and present a united front to all of the children. It sounds like your DH is doing whatever he wants without your input. No wonder you're frustrated! He needs to be made aware that he is not doing his daughter any favours by catering to her every whim and scheduling your lives around her.

Good luck. Read others' posts for inspiration and support. We're here for you.

I'm so sorry that you have to deal with this. It is painful to watch your child suffer because someone thinks another child is more important. Can you get a sitter or an after school program for you bd so she can do something other than follow dh and SD around. SD should be allowed to do sports, etc., but BD should have her own life too. Can you do special things with BD without SD when you aren't at work. You shouldn't HAVE to because your dumbass DH should "get it" enough to realize that he and SD are being SELFISH and DH is trying to twist it to make you the bad guy.

"God is great, beer is good, and people are crazy" and you can't change crazy!!

Yeah, he is doing the classic minimizing and rationalizing for his kid's benefit while amplifying and blaming you or beating you down for legitimate needs that you and your other daughter have. He needs an attitude adjustment. You can deliver it passively by concentrating on your daughter and letting him 'miss' you...after all, he really doesn't have a good case for complaining based on his own behavior....or you can deliver it directly...tell him the facts as you see them, what you feel, and pulling from your post, the consequences of him NOT hearing you....and then see where it goes. Direct is usually best. The guys don't realize how mean and unloving they come across when they act like this...it feels like the kids every want, need, and fart is infinitely most important in their lives and therefore everyone else's lives are insignigicant....total bullcrap.

I too am new to this site, but my situation is somewhat different. I moved to OK to be nearer to an older sister who has since passed. I have been living with my guy for 4 years and here in OK common law applies. He and I have a lot in common and for the most part, enjoy each other's company. The only relationship problems we have are over his grown son, who is 37 years old. His son, I'll call him B, is married and has a 16 yr old girl and a 17 yr old boy, who I love as I would my own grandchildren. Unfortunately, B cannot keep a job. He just walks off and quits them, then goes to all the churches in town and begs for money to pay his electric bill. Because of the 16 & 17 yr old, he is able to collect over 600 dollars a month for food stamps and receives state medical. Let him have a problem and he's running off to the doctor, but both children have needed braces, one has psoraisis, the school believes the daughter might have asthma, but all of these things go unchecked. I try to advocate for these children because no one else will, but often, I'm made to be the bad guy. Through all of this unemployment of B's, he is constantly asking us for stuff, mind you, he lives on his dad's land, does not pay a penny for it, he is hooked on to our well, we pay for the trash service, we put gas in the lawnmower's and chainsaws, which we own and pay for the service on. He has come into our home and stolen from us, including pain medication several times from his grandmother who has Mulitple Myeloma. I am one of 7 children and family is the most important thing to me, so when holidays roll around, I make all the plans and do all the cooking and surprisingly enough, no one ever offers to help, so I also do all the cleaning. This grown son and his wife, make sure that they have gifts for his mother and his grandmother on her side, but never give a gift to my guy or his mother and it tears me up. I'm about at the point that I'm going to blow and our communications are really becomming strained. I broached the subject again last night and my guy said..."he is my son and when he does without, it hurts me, which is why I do the things I do". I don't know what else to do and I'm afraid that I'm going to lose whether I stay or go. I'd appreciate any advice or thoughts I might get. Thank you for your time!