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A new catch-up. I have not fallen off the face of the earth!

bewitched's picture

It's been awhile since I've been online, and wanted to catch up with my friends, many of you who held my hand for so long.

In my last blog, I was working part-time and H and I were going to counseling.

It didn't work. H paid lip service to the counseling, but when it came down to nuts and bolts, that's all it was, was lip service.

Shortly after we started trying the counseling, I was driving home from work and got a call from H. Accusing me of being out partying and inviting strange men home from the parties with me. Of course not. And I couldn't understand why he would make such a stupid, out of nowhere accusation.

Guess what? Bingo! Beast 18. I no longer refer to her as SD18, as she does not deserve that title. She texted him and told him that's what I was doing, and that's why she "hates" me. Then, when he finally told her he didn't believe it, she responded with "you love bewitched more than you love me".

So I sent her an email, telling her this would not be tolerated, and to grow up. Her response? "At least I'm not a 60 y.o. trying to look 20". First of all, I am not 60. Second of all, I dress appropiately, not like the ho she dresses like.

So I told her she is no longer welcome in my home. Her response "OOPS, There you go again, woman, saying YOUR home. If it wasn't for my Dad, you'd have nothing. And no no no, there is no OUR money. HIS paycheck is HIS money and HE can spend it HOWEVER he wants to. Get your priorties in order, woman. Your so controlling..."

I brought this all out in our next counseling session. And H told me and the counselor he wasn't going to have anything to do with her until she agreed to counseling and changed. Sounds good, right?

That was on a Friday nite. 1 1/2 hrs with the counselor discussing her jealousy (the counselor stating she is sick and this is not normal, the counselor stating she is acting like a woman trying to be the wife). And what does H do? Sunday-less than 48 hours later, less than 48 hours after telling me and counselor how he's putting a stop to all of it, he takes her out to a steakhouse!

During this time period, I also discovered H was doing something illegal involving funds in his checking account. And thank God it was HIS checking account (when we seperated he closed the joint account, opened his own, and never put me back on it). I took it to my attorney, and he said H had broken several laws, and if my name had been on the checking account I could've been held responsible, even tho I had no knowledge of what he was doing.

Then salvation. I was hired full time for a great position. I've finally landed a good job, one I enjoy.

I went to my attorney last nite. H and I divided up property a couple of weeks ago, and now all that's left to do is sign. IF h will sign, which doesn't look promising. What comes next if he refuses to sign the divorce papers, IDK. He can't force me to stay married to him forever, so one way or the other this is over.

Comments

Angel72's picture

WOW, i would personally tell of the beast a bit more and keep telling her and her sicko daddy.
You deserve so much better!
And if he denies to sign he ca't force you to be married to him. He can be court ordered.
You divided the property a couple of weeks ago, does that mean you no longer live togehter? And did your dh try to hog everything to give to his daughter or did he relenquish what was rightfully yours?

Angel72's picture

oh , and your soon to be exdh is a real sick puppy to be treating her like a wife. This is allhis fault because beast can act all she likes but if daddy put her in her place like my dh did with his daughter and keeps putting her in her place, none of this would have happened.
My sd would demand my dh go pick her up and take her out for valentines day!!! i told my dh that is sick, she's not your wife, i'm your wife and if you ever indulge her in 'wife' things , i'll boot your butt out so fast you dont know what hit ya! She is challenging my position in your life ....But thank God my dh has a brain and told his daughter, you are not my wife and will not be placing yoruself in positions where my wife will be. ' oh you dont love me, you love her more' No sweety, i love you both , but you are my daugher and not my wife. Straighten yourself or i will do it for you every time.
That was my scenario....
I'm really sorry to hear what you went through bu thappy that its over for you.
I would definitely unload all my anger at this point and lash out and cleanse yourself of both these two sick individuals.

bewitched's picture

"To Thine Own Self Be True" William Shakesphere

Thank you, my friends.

And we are not living together. He took what he agreed at the time to take (I think to mollify me, due to my proof of his illegal activity-which, by the way, was basically conning someone else). It was a pretty fair split in the way of material possessions, tho I end up with more debt due to the eye surgery and owing on a vehicle (which I am keeping).

He continues to try to talk me into "forgiving and forgetting". We had one good month...August. The counseling seemed to be helping. Beast 18 was out of the picture. It was September when her accusations started, when he pulled to con. So I had one good month with him, since were married at the end of April 2008. One good month out of 17 months...certainly no way to spend your life-happy 1/17th of the time!

And angel, good point. Yes, H is one sicko also. the counselors statement to me, during our last-(I went and saw him alone)session was "I wonder what hold Beast 18 has on him". I am not stupid...I know what the counselor was inferring.

So I'm off to my knew life. And if H won't sign the papers, that's his problem. I am going to be living the single life with or without his signature.

Amazed's picture

Bewitched!!! Thank you for the update honey! You sound like you're pushing forward to a better place in your life...so proud of you for doing what you know is right. Im sorry counseling didn't work for you guys as a couple but will you continue going on your own just until you heal from all this mess?

~Why run away? I know who I am...you know who I am. Just let me be~

Angel72's picture

I think your dh is guilt ridden, beast knows it and plays on it...and somehow through the years , your dh has lost the defined line , the clear defined line, as to waht you can and cannot do with a daughter. Its become twisted. Treating a daughter like a wife is soooo twisted. Really sick. I personally would not have given him a chance just on that alone.
But another poster also has a good point. Once you guys split, there is no more challenge for dads' attention, so the beast will get bored and stop.
You guys were ok in august while she was out but september came around and the ugly beast held its head up again. And since your dh is not strong enough to tame her and chain her, he's useless for any woman. Any woman he dates will be used and abused.

bewitched's picture

Oh, it was a weird strange time.

The matching shoes. The secret phone calls, ended with a whispered "can't talk - she's here" when I walked into the room.

Remember the graduation fiasco...with the country club being rented in honor of the beast, when we were basically broke due to H's garnishment? What do you suppose H did when he got home? He hung her tassel (from her cap) in our bedroom. I thought that was weird, and still think it is.

And all of the garbage from her...and not one time did he make her apologize. Not once.

Now he's sooooo sorry. Why must I be so full of hatred and anger...why won't I forgive and just go on. Of course that's what he wants. Now not only do I supply the home, I supply a decent income to go with it.

Duh. No more playing bewitched for a fool.

The counselor did say that regardless whether I'm out of the picture or not, Beast 18 will continue to manipulate H, because he continues to allow her to do so. I feel for the next victim. I truly do!

GiGi222's picture

Good for you B. You are too good for that mess anyway. Let them have each other. You gave your marriage all of the effort on your end with none on his. Good Luck to you.

Sia's picture

So glad to hear from you Bewitched! Glad to hear you are doing better! Smile Don't be a stranger!

Sarah101's picture

So nice to hear that you are doing well, Bewitched! You sound so strong now. You've given this marriage everything you can, and now you can look toward your own future with no guilt or regrets.

Congrats on the new job (we knew it was out there), and stay in touch!

stepmasochist's picture

I know I'm getting in on this late, but I was sick the last few days.

Congratulations Bewitched!! I'm so glad H and the beast are out! I hope you're safe and well.

Please don't be a stranger.