UberSkank is keeping step-demon from DH - Long vent!
Grrrrrrrrrr! My personal feelings aside regarding step-demon (sd14) and all the crap she pulled the last two and half years, I'm so f**king frustrated with what's been happening.
DH wants to see his kid. UberSkank had step-demon call DH to tell him that she's taking a bus/train from where UberSkank lives to our home. She wanted to know if DH was going to pick her up when she got off the bus, or did he want her to take the train out to stop near our home. When DH asked her why she's doing this she said "Mom doesn't have to take my sisters to their dads (long story but Uber has three kids with three dads) tomorrow, so she'll put me on the bus instead of driving me to your place."
:jawdrop:
DH said he needs to think about it and would call back. He waited until I got home to ask me my opinion. Now my reaction was completely emotional but I was ticked off. The bus goes the back way through farmland and forests. The train goes through some very questionable parts of town. This 14 year old girl still sleeps with a night-light because she is scared of the dark. She also freezes when she sees strangers or anyone that doesn't look "normal" to her. She gives off fear vibes like you wouldn't believe. Step-demon is also lacking in common sense and street smarts. And her "mother" wants her to ride a bus and the train in the dark? By herself? Is she nuts?
DH calls back and asked to speak to UberSkank. UberSkank sees nothing wrong with putting step-demon on a bus and train because she's "only has to provide transportation to our home, and a bus is transportation". DH said the court order states you are to drop her off at our home, not just to provide transportation close to our home. She started arguing with him and telling him he's wrong and just trying to baby step-demon, step-demon is pretty much an adult and can handle this trip. DH is being over protective once again and trying to keep her a little girl. At that point, seeing that UberSkank doesn't give a crap about this kid....DH lost it. For the first time in three years I saw him completely lose it. He said "You know what UberSkank? I hope you rot in hell you f**king skanky c**t! Then hung up on her.
:jawdrop:
He invoked the C word...a word he only uses for the most special kind of woman. 
About an hour later, he sent Uber a text telling her he'd pick step-demon up at the busstop, but needed the location and arrival time. She sent him a text back telling him that step-demon heard what he called her (Uber) and now has changed her mind and didn't want to see him. She also said if he ever used abusive, filthy language with her again she WILL take action.
I felt horrible because I thought I instigated his reaction with my emotions and it went to far. But he said, Shaman29 you know no matter what my answer would have been she would have kept step-demon from coming over. She knew I would have an issue with step-demon's safety and would argue over it.
So this makes the third time since the custody change that UberSkank has denied visitation. DH hasn't seen his kid in two months, and the last visit Uber showed up two hours late.
He is thinking about giving her fair warning and letting her know he WILL take action if she continues to use step-demon as blackmail or denies him further visitation. He is planning on sending her copies of the agreement where it clearly states "Mother will drop step-demon off at Father's home at 7pm on Fridays."
Grrrrrrrrr.....I hope someday I get to watch some pissed off wife/girlfriend of the guys she's screwing beat the ever loving crap out of her.
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Comments
Shitty parents all do the
Shitty parents all do the same thing don't they? My x thought it was a great idea to put my son at the age of 7 on a plane from GA to CO, with two 4 hour layovers. One in Atlanta and one in Houston. He used the same BS that uber is using. I, of course, refused to put my son's life at risk and didn't allow the visitation. The DD says he is to provide transportation, and he used the same exact line Uber used on you guys. It always amazes me when these kinds of parents put their kids saftey on the back burner. I mean, does Uber actually think this was a good idea in any form? What a idiot. She doesn't give two rats about her daughters wellbeing if you ask me.
I do have one question though, why didn't you guys just go pick her up?
Oh for pity's sake. My SD
Oh for pity's sake. My SD stb 14 has been flying to see her dad since she was 7 or 8, but it has ALWAYS been direct flights. I'm not sure if this next one (for Thanksgiving) is direct or not, but she's coming with my MIL so a single layover won't be totally traumatic. She too needs a night light and gets freaked out at least once a visit because she's scared of the strange noises in the dark.
Certainly NOTHING like a bus ride and then a train!
~Trish
DH could hear in
DH could hear in step-demon's voice that she was not crazy about this idea. He said she sounded nervous and unsure of herself.
This isn't some 15 ride. This is traveling on a bus for 2 hours through farm country, wooded areas and over a mountain range. The train will take her through some very questionable parts of three different cities and would be another hour of travel. We know Uber will only give her enough money for a ride and nothing for emergencies.
I have co-workers that travel in pairs out to where she would be catching the train. It makes me sick how little this "mother" cares about the safety of her child. I personally no longer have a relationship with step-demon, however it would destroy DH if anything ever happened to her.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
Because UberSkank would have
Because UberSkank would have refused to let her go with us, made a scene and called the police.
When DH had custody, step-demon "ran away" to Uber's house. They claimed she took the train from our place, then a bus to where Uber lives. Let me tell you no way did she do this....1. no money and 2. too lazy to walk to the train station.
Anyway....when we arrived, with the custody order and the police Uber refused to release step-demon to DH. Even though HE had custody. Because it was a civil matter, the police officer couldn't force the issue. He told us privately, he's a step-dad and understands what's going on. He said go see the judge and get a writ of assistance and he would help us the next day.
Uber thrives on the control thing and is making DH pay for getting custody a few years ago.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
DH just fed into BMs PAS.
DH just fed into BMs PAS. Great. I know it's frustrating but now she has the upper hand. She can now boo hoo to SD that DH is so mean to her, blah blah blah.
I'd text back and say that if she stands in the way of his right to see SD then he will get a court order to invoke the custody arrangement.
I agree. In fact, I would
I agree. In fact, I would show up on her doorstep with the cops.
UCSM (BB)
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
I appreciate what you're
I appreciate what you're saying and if it were possible we would. But in our state, it's a civil matter and the police will not assist without a judge's order. UberSkank has full physical and legal custody. DH only has visitation now.
DH sent her an email last night sighting the custody order and penalties for violating it. We are keeping a journal, coping texts and printing emails. Because we know that when spring arrives another batch of crazy will bloom. And Uber will find a way to bring us into court.......again......
We know exactly what she's doing and that no matter what DH wasn't going to see his child this weekend.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine
Yeah, I was interested to
Yeah, I was interested to read what you said about that above. We are going through a somewhat similar situation, and almost called the cops last night. We'll have to check into this and how it works in our state.
I definitely sympathize, Shaman. In fact, when I opened my computer this morning and read your blog, I immediately thought, Wow, this blog is totally what we're going through!
UCSM (BB)
"No matter how cynical I get, it's never enough." - Lily Tomlin
DH just confirmed that he
DH just confirmed that he did send UberSkank an email last night. It stated only facts:
1. He listed the three times and details she has refused visitation to DH.
2. He cited the one time he's seen step-demon and Uber was 2 hours late bringing her.
3. He pasted part of the custody order exactly stating that she was to bring her directly to our home, and likewise we are to bring her directly to her home.
4. He offered to switch days if Fridays were a problem or go back to meeting at a half way point.
5. Agreed with her to only communicate via text or email, because (and I love this part) he personally doesn't want to have to speak to her anyway.
6. Told her to stop using step-demon as a messanger. To only communicate through text or email and not use their child.
7. Completely mirrored her threat to him about using filthy language by telling her he would no longer put up with her abusive attitude, using step-demon as blackmail and denying him visitation or he WILL take action. (it was word for word what her threat to him stated, except he changed the actions :D)
8. Cited the custody order again regarding the penalties for violating the order.
It was beautiful. It was all facts and very business like and he did a great job. I said she's going to rant back at him and he said I don't care.
The down side to all of this is the law is not on his side. He has visitation only, she has legal custody. Even if we showed up on her doorstep on DH's weekend, with the police waving the custody order, they can't enforce the order. It's a civil matter that requires a writ of assistance from the judge. We can file contempt of court charges, she can be fined, she can be put on bench probabtion. But to be honest, it doesn't matter what the judge does to her. UberSkank is a narcissist and a sociopath. She believes she is above the law, has always wiped her ass with the judgements and will disregard anything the judge says to her.
Which is why we hope a house falls on her. The laws in our state completely protect the mother and disregard the father. Even when the mother is bat-s**t crazy.
“Be like a duck. Calm on the surface, but always paddling like the dickens underneath.”
Michael Caine