My boyfriends ex-wife is making my life a living hell. Please help
I have been with my boyfriend for the past 2 years he has a son who is 14 and lives with us and a son who is 20 and is a United States Marine and is stationed in another state. My bf's ex-wife has made my life a living hell since day one, she has tried to manipulate both boys to hate me. Even the one who is a marine and doesnt live in the same state as us and is an adult he hates me so much and I dont understand it. The 14 year old I believe wants to like me and does try too he is such a sweet boy he really is and i love him to death, but he always has his mom in his ear telling him awful things about me. She has told him so many lies about me that I have done awful things to her and have said awful things to her about her son etc etc etc... I have never had words with this woman other then answering the phone and giving it to her son. She has screamed bloody murder at me through a car window or on the phone and I am trying to be the better person and just look at her and walk away or if its on the phone just giving the phone to her son to talk to and not say anything at all. But this is getting harder and harder to do. Honestly I want to grab her by her hair scream in her face and tell her what I think about her. This woman is pure evil and how she has such control of her kids when they dont even live with her. They live with my boyfriend and myself. I just dont understand why she hates me so much. I have never done anything to her, I have never done anything to either one of her children. I have only treated them both with the upmost respect and loving nature. But she has been coming at me since day one. She is an awful mother, she barely gets the 14 year old. Her visitation is every other weekend and at least one weekend a month she blows her son off or doesnt get him at all until the following month, she has no job, she is constantly moving around from one boyfriend to another and then back to the original one. It is a constant drama with her. She will not call her son for a week and then the following week she will call every single day... She is not on drugs or anything according to my boyfriend she is a very very selfish woman and never thinks of anyone but herself, which after seeing her actions I tend to agree with him. He is just so sick to death of the constant drama between her & I. She is the one yelling and im the one walking away or crying to my boyfriend about how I am treated by this woman I have never done anything too. My boyfriend does try to stand up to her for me and tell her to leave me out of this and to stop it, but it doesnt do any good... SOMEONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE. I just do not understand what I have done to deserve this. My boyfriend thinks it has to do with the fact that I get to see her son everyday and that I am with her ex-husband. But if she is so freaked out about my boyfriend why did she leave him. not once but twice for a different man. They were married for a total of 19 years having divorced and remarried once and then divorced again... I could go on and on about this situation
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She is completely jealous of
She is completely jealous of you and has focus her utter hate on you just because you are with bf and are with her kids. That is all. i would personally speak have a family meeintg regarding this. And open your heart andtell all that you've done nothign wrong and if the adutl son who is 20 can't see that, then its end of discussion with him and focus on your family life.
Then on a more pressing matter, his ex. Get a restraining order on her. Set a legal action on her and have it nipped in the butt immediately because she will continue to do so unless you take a legal stand. You call the police on her if she ever sets near you physically again. Do not answer the phone andif she wails you, call the police immediately. Call all the time until her record is so thick and lay charges on her. Get her psyched eval. Sounds to me she has major issues. So as long as you stay in this situation she will be there but you can make a stand. Make it and make it very clear.
She had not ever put her
She had not ever put her hands on me just screamed at me, but whats so sad is this has happened 3 times not just in front of her son, but my 17 yr old daughter as well. you do not know how badly I want to smack the crap out of her, but then she would press charges on me and obviously I dont want to go to jail. I have asked my city police department if there is anything I can do. they basically said no not really, you can file a police report but thats about it...
I think she is jealous,
I think she is jealous, crazy, and bitter. What to do? Hmmmm I have had BM say nasty things about me to SD and my H....but this is a bit different. I have not experienced this---I would suggest being ever so nice to SSs, don't let your anger for BM leak onto SSs.
I am not sure what to suggest for the crazy lady.
Unfortunately, there's not a
Unfortunately, there's not a lot you can do except keep your chin up and be the better person. Hopefully, eventually, she will settle down and realize the person she really hates is herself. Some women are just never happy or satisfied and they will choose to blame everyone around them for their problems. We also have a useless BM and I had to disengage myself from the dealings with her. I don't answer the phone when she calls. I don't get out of my car for pickups or dropoffs. I take excellent care of her children and she hates me for THAT. She would rightfully hate me if I was a bad person to her children, so you can't win. You just have to focus on trying to keep your household a happy one and limit the amount of power you give the BM. You DON'T have to answer the phone every time she calls - that is an intrusion in your life and household. Just take some baby steps towards trying some of these things and your life will get better. When we have the skids with us and BM calls during dinner, an outing, homework, reading time, or any other time it's not convenient for us - we don't answer. As long as we know the skids are fine and with us - we don't have to answer the phone. BM got her daughter a cell phone and she can reach her on that and we don't limit those calls at all.
Good luck to you and yours.
**my stepdaughters did not grow in my tummy, they grew in my heart**
Thank you for your reply to
Thank you for your reply to me I just signed up on this discussion website today. I have never done this before, but I am at my wits end.
Our crazy BM and her at the
Our crazy BM and her at the time crazy 2nd husband did not leave us alone until we pressed charges against them for threatening us and creating a disturbance.
After paying for an attorney to defend themselves, they left us alone and behaved themselves. It was heavenly! I highly suggest doing this.
I was told from the police
I was told from the police when I asked them if I could do anything about harrassment of an ex-wife they said no not really, all I could do is file a police report... She has not yelled at me in awhile, but she still continues to say stuff to my bf or her kids about me or thinks I am saying stuff about her to her son, its just an ongoing drama constantly..
You can trespass her from
You can trespass her from your property and make it so that she has to pick up and drop off in a public place. Then you don't even have to see her. Your husband can meet her there and change custody for her visits. You can also change your home phone and insist that she call your BF and his son on your BF's cellphone and if your SS has one, on his too. You can control this.
Do you have caller id? then
Do you have caller id? then you can be sure not to answer the phone when she calls--have SS answer.
Switch in a public place is a good idea--or just have FH drive over to house--don't allow her over to your place.