I've been on the step-scene for a little over a year now and I really don't have too many expectations as being a step-parent. As a matter of fact, I don't really like being called a parent at all.

I was flung into my current situation after practically living with the father of 3 for almost 2 years prior to an emergency room visit that hurled 3 skids forcefully at me.

First it was kinda cute with a bunch of appreciation for taking care of their father while he recovered. (I was promised brownies which I still, to this day have NEVER seen...and considering their personal hygiene I'm probably lucky.)

The cuteness wore off quickly when I realized that these three mindless sheep were raised in a barn. They had very little by the way of manners, no independence and no life skills. (They had never washed a dish or did an ounce of laundry until they started coming over the obligatory "every other weekend".)

I had originally expected that seemingly good wholesome parents raised their kids the way MY parents raised me. (AND I APPRECIATE MY PARENTS OH SO MUCH MORE!!!!) I guess I was wrong. (Goes along with that "ASSUME" thing.) I was wrong about discipline, life skills, encouraging independence, open honesty, being a parent (not a buddy) and all that. I hadn't realized that people's sense of parenting is sometimes so fucked up. (I don't know about you, but no son of mine would EVER have me cutting up his meat for him at the age of 12!)

I don't think I'm that old at 41, but back when I grew up, we ate what we were given and we acquired a taste for a ton of fruits and vegetables. (I never was a big meat eater and still am not today, but I will if I have to and to be polite for sure.) Back in my day we did not have BM's who would take three kids to three different fast food places for dinner. We didn't have BMs who would just leave us at home by ourselves most of the time. Back in my day my brother and I were taught to cook, clean and do laundry equally and we were not coddled in anyway, yet were knew we were loved without overindulgence.

My skids drive me nuts...not because they are horribly behaved, because they aren't (they can't be because they are mindless sheep who can't take a shit without someone telling them to do it or granting them permission). My skids drive me nuts because of how they were raised and how they are coddled.

The skid trio's BM allows them to graze on anything (cookies and chips) all day and when they aren't grazing, their meals are fast food of whatever variety they each want individually. (TOO EXPENSIVE)

The oldest skid has a lot of bioprobs. (He was artificially conceived which may have predisposed him to them.) Because of his bioprobs (allergies, hives, etc.) he gets special treatment which feeds into his already neurotic (probably obsessive compulsive) behavior and habits. All the kid eats is bacon, french fries and onion rings. He hates meat and is on 9 different meds and supplements for all sorts of conditions including iron deficiency and anemia. Other than that...he's a teenage gamer boy, with a pleasant personality and good behavior. (BUT...in the back of my mind I just can't understand why they let them eat the way they do!)

The second oldest is a female teenage bitch. All she does is bitch about everyone and pokes her nose in everyone's business. She has no personality (or life) of her own. She's bossy and rude and at 13 still farts out loud. She doesn't know how to set a table, do laundry or wash dishes. (They DO know how to heat up pizza rolls in an oven...though they forget consistently to turn off the oven.) She's just so negative and annoying that I can't stand to be around her and most of her comments are judgmental prejudice that she's learned NOT reality based opinions. (Mindless sheep with an attitude!)

The youngest is disrespectful and whiney...and in a way, I don't blame her. Her elder siblings are either sick/neurotic or bitchy/attention-seekers and she's left behind to be...outwardly social (good), yet disrespectful of authority (sasses mom and dad) and whiney (to get her way...like a baby). I have a feeling she'll be the most successful of them all, later in life! LOL! BUT...she's still annoying.

My problems are my own. I'm more irritated with the way these kids are raised and don't feel the bioparents are "doing it right". (Which sides with my parents-in-law who are a bit more old skool.) My irritation is more like..."WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU THINKING RAISING MINDLESS, LIFE SKILL-LESS, OVERINDULGED CHILDREN????!!!!"

Now as far as my relationship WITH the skids? I have NO expectations whatsoever. (Actually I used to expect they'd just hate me, but that's not the case...at least not openly the case.) I don't have any hopes of bonding with these kids and calling them my own in any way shape or form. I even told my husband, "I am NOT their mother. They have a MOTHER and they'd better pray hard that nothing ever happens to her where they have to come live with us, because it would be a harsh dose of reality! If they were under MY roof, they would eat what they were fed, they would clean the house, do laundry, wash dishes, cook, make their beds, BRUSH THEIR frickin' teeth, and get some fresh air once in a while and there would be no bitching or sass slung in MY presence." BUT...I know that's a fantasy and that it would NEVER work.

I don't have any desire to be mommy to any of my hubby's kids. I don't hate them, but I just can't get emotionally invested in them as there is NOTHING I can do about how they are raised, coddled, lied to and brainwashed. I can not counsel nor discipline them. (I once gave the 11 year old a book on how to take care of herself (an American Girl book about hair, friends, nails, etc.) and got reamed because it showed how to use a tampon!)

So my hands are tied and I tell my husband that. I only wish the best for the skids, but there's nothing I can do about it. I don't want to ruffle the ex's feathers because (like many men) he's terrified that she can take the kids away from him...and that would KILL him.

My husband is a wonderful father who REALLY REALLY LOVES his kids. He NEVER has missed a visit with them in the almost 3 years I've known him and I've ALWAYS encouraged him. I find it impressive that he wants to be with them so much and I also like time alone, so it works for me. I just have a hard time being around the reflection of clearly BAD parenting (and yes..HE TOO is to blame).