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I thought this was a place to vent to others in similiar situations

Kteach109's picture

Submitted by Kteach109 on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:13pm

Today I read another blog on here talking about " If we are all so miserable why are we still with DH"? ETC.....I know I am new here but I have only found this site helpful. I am definitely not unhappy with my FH and I definitely like his daughter too. Venting is totally normal and healthy and doing it with others that can relate just seems to help. It has helped me realize that I am not being unrealistic or going crazy. I mean, I can talk to my friends who are not in the same situation but it has been so much better here (only 3 or 4 days) due to the simple little fact that we all have something in common...we are all step-parents. It's not alwasy easy, we might not always agree but I love my FH and can't wait marry him and his daughter. We just see things differently sometimes and it's nice to have a place where no one will judge you...or so I thought unitl today, that I can come and vent my frustrations. I hope it still is. I can honestly say that I have aprreciated and love the comments I have received from some of you on my other 2 blogs. I hope this is still a place where we can come and support each other, give advice, or even just listen (or in this case read).

Comments

smnikki's picture

Submitted by smnikki on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:30pm

not all members feel the need to get on a soap box and judge others with a holier than thou attitude! I too love my dh and my ss, but if i internalize all the hell that bm puts us through, or dont vent about the way ss treats me because bm is brainwashing him I will explode! Not all people vent the same, and as long as we can be tolerant and ignore the posts that dont fit in to our liking this site will continue to help so many of us!!!

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:31pm

It's just going to be up to you to decide how / where you want to go with your venting.

You will come to see this site, just as you would the real world. Where there are others in the same boat... and others who have it much worse... and others who don't have it quite so bad, but think they do!! Wink

You will also see the effects of venting - positive and negative.

So vent away girlfriend. Enjoy it and use the site. And just remember... keep your eyes and your mind open... NOT ONE OF US is always right... or always the opinion to look at.

Smile

Welcome

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:45pm

I guess the biggest issue we run into in a public forum like this, is that I believe that we all read each other stories, we put ourselves in the bloggers place and then respond in a way of how we would react... not necessarily how the blogger would react, should react, or could react.

And that's what causes the problems. We are putting ourselves in each others shoes and then giving advice based on ourselves...

I don't really feel that anyone here is judgmental. Even when they are telling me to take a hike, or take my halo off, or whatever. It's just how they are... and I am just how I am (like Popeye - I yam what I yam!!"

So again... don't let this scare you off. Just realize that we are all really trying to help each other... Smile

no fairytale's picture

Submitted by no fairytale on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:52pm

Well I am also new to the website today actually!
And, I posted two blogs in which I asked for advice. Not one has been even commented on so, apparently this site is for people to judge one persons view point on her apparent frustration with her husband for the day.
And not to help or provide advise.
So, far not so impressed! Hopefully it gets better

Stick's picture

Submitted by Stick on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 5:59pm

On some posts, you have to give people some time to respond. Frustrating I know, but when there's a lot going on... especially if it is concerning members who have been here a long time, sometimes, unfortunately the newbies do get pushed aside for a moment.

On your one blog, I saw that you posted it on Adult Stepchildren issues. I had to go find it, so that could be why you didn't get a response. For the most part, I always blog / post under General Discussion and that seems to be where everyone is looking.

Anyone else agree with that?

I will get back to you on my thoughts (not that you want MY thoughts... but I guess anyone's thoughts!!) Smile but I have to run out first.

Will be back in a bit.

On your second blog though, about the ex and the house, I feel for you. I don't know even how to answer that. If you read some of my past blogs, you will see that I am in a similar situation.

Talk to you later!

Sita Tara's picture

Submitted by Sita Tara on Fri, 08/14/2009 - 6:32pm

Hang in there. Most new people feel the same way and I remember feeling that way too. I actually found it easier to bond with people by reading their posts and posting supportive responses in the beginning. If you go wayyyyy back to my original posts, you'll see I had hardly any responses. Then for a year plus I got a TON. Now I'm back to only a few because I'm not posting many comments anymore.

It's like any relationship, sort of builds with a little effort to get to know other people. If you stay you will find that there are many people you will bond with, who are very gracious in their dedication to reading whatever you post and responding because they have come to care about you.

Unless you want to post something super inflammatory, judgmental or controversial. That will get attention...but not usually many fans/friends Smile

emptyrisksagain's picture

Submitted by emptyrisksagain on Sat, 08/15/2009 - 11:25pm

"I hope this is still a place where we can come and support each other, give advice, or even just listen (or in this case read)."

Man, ME TOO. lol. I love this site...even just coming here to read about how another member's day has been helps keep me sane. It lets me know that none of us here is truly alone.

I know that I have recently blogged here about "why do we stay"...but I gotta tell you...I wasn't trying to judge anyone for staying. I mean shoot...I'VE STAYED. lol. I love my husband, and if my SD16 would only find it inside herself to let me in? I'd be thrilled. Smile But I've been raising my SD16 since she was 5 and her bio mom wasn't even around until last year...but she always kept me at arms length. I've gone from wanting to leave because she hurts me to wanting to leave because I wonder if I am ruining her life. *sad shrug* (BTW, I was SD's G*dmother before I was her mom, so I have literally known her forever...that's a lot of years to wonder why we can't find some understanding together, ya know?)

But yes, Kteach109, regardless of even my harsher-sounding posts (I save my mean-streak for trolls, lol), and my rants on the bad days, I hope you will come back, and back, and back again to find whatever help or friendship you might need. I apologize, btw, if my "why do we stay" blog caused you to feel uncomfortable. My intent was only to see if anyone else felt that way, and to clear my mind of something that had been wandering through it for a few days.

Best to you!