wow..I'm sitting at my desk biting my tongue!
So the "gossips" in my office are all talking about how Giselle (Tom Brady's wife) is now pregnant with her own child. Now the women in my office are all married, but NO children OR stepchildren...all they talk about is "Real housewives or Tom&Kate plus 8" not to say I don't watch those shows too..but every morning they come in and speak negatively about everyone.
So I'm sitting here and one woman says "wow they didn't wait long to have kidS" (they got married in Feb.) well actually compared to most they waited til' they got married - right? but these women HAVE to say something negative..THAN one says "well Bridget (his X and mother of his son) is probably relieved cuz' now Bridget will keep her hands off her baby!" WTF!! Am I the only one that this statement offends???
It's just another statement of a stepmom being no one. Gisele recently got criticized because she made some sort of a remark about loving Tom's son (her SS) like her own and she is a mom to him...people were mad taht she made that statement...but if she had said "If your child has a step-parent, do you want that person to treat/love your child as a “step-child” or do you want them to treat/love your baby just the way they would treat their own. If Giselle and Tom had kids and she had said “I love Jack, but really he’s not my own so the love/relationship we have is different than what I have with my own kids”, people in blogworld would be up in arms. It’s a no win situation for her.
The whole conversation just irked me..but I'm at work and office politics prevail..I've learned that the hard way..another reason I choose to conversate with you all rather than the people in my real world.
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Well,
if she loves Jack, and I hope for his sake that she does, then that can only be a good thing because it will help him not feel like a second-class citizen at his Dad's house, and help him feel like a valued member of the family.
I don't hate any of the 3 adults in this scenario. I admire them for not airing their issues in public. So many celebrities do that. I think that they're all trying to do the best they can. I hope for the sake of this beautiful baby boy that they can all get along.
stupid is
as stupid does... just pitty them.
exactly
I sit here and listen to their shallow lives..and one is ALWAYS bitchen' at her husband..and up his butt..honestly if I were her husband I'd get the hell away.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
personally
I think its great that she chooses to love her step-son and treat him as she will treat her own child. And I agree that its a no-win situation. Giselle would be considered cruel and inconsiderate and neglectful if she said, well he's just Tom and that lady's son, not mine. But if she says that she loves him in the best way she can, she's crucified for trying to "take over as mom" or some nonsense like that!
I don't think Gisele is trying to take over as
his Mom. She said in the interview that she knows he has a mom, and it's not her, but that she loves him as she would her own.
As I said before, I commend the three adults for how they've handled this. They haven't b*tched about each other publicly, whereas so many splitting/divorced celebrities do that. So the fact that these three haven't engaged in that (publicly, anyway) is refreshing.
I think all 3 adults have moved on and are putting the child first. That is what's important.
As for Jon & Kate, I bet you a million dollars that they'll announce that they're divorcing.
You just described my situation......
I am a BM and a SM, my daughter is 14 and my step is 6. Before i married my husband, i thought long and hard about being with a man with a child with another woman. At that time I decided I would love and treat the child the same as my own becuase it is not fair for me to treat her any differently.
I told my husband the same. So we treat our children as they are our blood and that's final. We don't say stepchild nor do we want any one else in our families to treat them like a stepchild. So both of our families treat our children as if they belong and are loved.
AND it is great here in VA. We all get along and have peace.
BUT THE PROBLEM IS THE BM in my case. Before my husband and I got married, I offered to take BM to dinner so she could get to know me before we got married becuase of course me and DH would be moving in and living together as husband and wife. At this dinner BM did not speak a word to me. She made a few comments to my husband and that was it.
Before I think she was ok with him having a girlfriend because we never lived together and they would only visit and then go to DH's home. Up until that point she only attacked DH - which was wrong - but it is the truth.
But as soon as she found out we married. I started getting the - not to feed her daughter, not to comb or wash her hair, and the craziness of abuse allegations started and the like (you can read back in my blog for those stories).
I don't understand it. I could never marry someone if i did not accept their kid as my own. I would never discipline them - but how can i live in a situation where i ignored a young child or treated them mean because the mom says i should not do anything with a child that is not mine. In my eyes it is not fair to that child to treat them like an outsider.......
I wish my daughter's father would be involved in her life. AND if he was - then i would be mad if the SM or GF didn't treat my daughter as their own. I would not want my daughter isolated or treated like a step-child or burden. I would want her to have a good relationship with the "mother" of that household.
Hell it is hard enough to raise a kid now days..... I will take all the dang help I can get - especially if it is positive and has a positive effect on my daughter's life.
Oh Imag, why are you not the BM in my life?
~All you need is Faith, Trust, and a little bit of Pixie Dust~
Some people are just off in
Some people are just off in their own little world. In this specific case, Gisele has been there since the baby was born (some people have not liked the circumstances of Tom & Bridget's break up, but nonetheless, they were broken up). I think it was in poor taste on Bridget's part to NOT give the baby Tom's last name, or put his name in there somewhere. He's proven that he loves that child. You always see pictures of him and the baby.
So, back to the point, Who would NOT love a teeny tiny baby? And since Giselle has been around since the baby's birth, it is only logical that she feels attached to him. I think it is awesome that she admitted that she knows she is not his mother, but treats him like her own. That's how I feel about my SD's. I know they have a mother (as crappy as she is), but that doesn't mean I don't love those girls as much (if not more) than their BM.
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
Bridget did give him two of Tom's names
His name is John Edward Thomas. Tom's name is Thomas Edward Brady. So even though she didn't give him his last name, she did give him two of his other names.
Bridget did give him two of Tom's names
His name is John Edward Thomas. Tom's name is Thomas Edward Brady. So even though she didn't give him his last name, she did give him two of his other names.
Anon
You're right. I was just think of the last name, not the first names. Like John Brady Moynahan (sp?)
*duh!* I'm having a blonde day today, lol.
~ Formerly ToTheEdge. I have stepped down from the ledge.
Sorry for the double post!
My server's acting up.
Although.....
Having my perfect son16 and thinking about the time we went through the SM he had for a while... OMG... she was SATAN!! I did everything possible to keep him away from her because she tried that toting him around thing like he was hers... um.. back off bitch... that's MY son!! So that's an iffy one for me... yes it's great that Gisele loves the baby but at the same time when I see her all loving on him in magazines like she's his real mom... if I was BM there that would seriously piss me off. Kind of a catch-22 for me I guess.
this is exactly...
what causes the issues with bm i feel! this statement has me fuming...i cant believe you would even type something so horribly stupid! this is for you bm's to process yourself, and get over your own issues! She was not satan, YOU are insecure, and you should feel like an idiot for typing what you did!
the "back off bitch" is an insecurity solely of the bm!
we can love the kids but not in front of the bm, or that she will see it? excuse me but wtf? i give you a big F U! so i can do things for him when hes in my home, make sure he is safe and contribute part of my household income because bm cant support HER child the 50% she has him!
wtf is worng with these women? if it was a nanny caring for the child you would have no issue, but because YOU are insecure that your child would view this woman as a mother type figure you get your panties in a bunch and cause drama.
wicked, YOU should be ashamed of your self for attempting to keep you son from this woman! Out of YOUR insecurities you probably caused much more stress for YOUR child than there had to be.
ugh, this disgusts me, and the one that suffers is the child!
AMEN SMNIKKI
I agree with you 100% percent. Same nasty attitude my BM has. AND it affects the children more than the BM.
They are too selfish to realize it.
Amen Sister.......
thank you
and i feel horrible for the way this was to wicked now knowing the situation...but in the context given i saw red!
i think if i have to hear one more bm play the victim that poor them! they have to deal with the sm in their childs life, etc im going to barf on them! heres a clue! DONT GET A DIVORCE! KEEP YOUR HUSBAND HAPPY! OR DONT HAVE KIDS!
for me and MANY sm's this is what causes ALL the drama, and upset for every one involved! yet the bm's call our dh's and act like they are doing some thing wrong, or we arent perfect enough....the list goes on and on....ugh
I'm a BM
and I have had to deal with issues of jealousy of my own BD loving another woman that she considers a SM. ATfirst it was VERY hard..she would come home and it wuold be "SM this..SM that..." blah blah blah..at first I'd be very sarcastic like whatever..haha..but THAN something changed and SM becamse VERY mean to my BD..very jealous of her..and now I'm VERY grateful that my most recent' EH's girlfriend is VERY nice and loving to my BD and my BD loves her. I know no matter how much SM spends on my daughter..or how many times she runs to her dads cuz' I'm so "mean" she always ends up calling "mommy" back. We as BM's cant blame the SM's if we don't have close bonds with our children..it's our responsibility to have that bond.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
yep
my ss clearly knows who his mother his...but i wonder if bm truly knows this.
i think kids from a very early age learn to be manipulative. i have a feeling that ss does go to bm and say all kinds of things to manipulate bm...but that does not mean that i truly buy the kid toys everyday, feed him only bday cake, and say yes to every request.
i clearly understand that it must be hard fo a bm to accept a sm in their childs life, but that is their issue, not ours! Look at all we are taking on by becoming sm's?! HOWEVER, it is the child of bm, not the sm, and since the bm brought the child in to this world they need to set aside THEIR issues for the child...after all they have made sure to yell it from every mountain that it is THEIR child! Why does it become our problem with dh/fh/bf because it "upsets" bm to see a woman in the life of the kid?
You know what?
F U smnikki! I think you better just back up for a second here. It's one thing for her to LOVE my child, which she DIDN'T, it's something totally different for her to take MY CHILD out in public and flaunt him around like she is a queen when the truth of the matter is when he was 6 years old she locked him and his dad out of the house and when they started walking away she got in the car and TRIED TO RUN THEM OVER. So you seriously to need to find out more information before you jump all over my ass. That is simply ONE instance. She also man handled him and left a claw mark down his side that he STILL has a scar from. She slapped him across the face, etc. etc. etc..... so YES she was most certainly SATAN. What would you think watching YOUR ONLY child drive off in a car driven by a SM who refused to even make them wear a seatbelt?? HMMMM????????
I am very fortunate now that he has a step mother that truly does love him and cares for him. So yes smnikki.... F U TOO!
like kaff said
this was not at all in the original post... and actually the original post shined the sm in the light that she did care by caring enough about the child to take him out and about with her...
this post was written while my hands were shaking, because i was sooooo mad, and i apologize, i should have had much more composure, and known there was more to the story.
now knowing the back story, yes this woman was truly satan, and i am sorry to hear of what a horrible sm you dealt with.
HOWEVER there is on conflict in your story! you are comparing your feelings with that of the bm of gisele's ss....and this is where i based my response, because in that case had the bm made the statement you did, she would fully deserve every word i said. so, please see that your response in the situation you were responding to was exactly how i put it, insecure...
also, the bm in my case, this is the sole reason there are issues. she cant stand that i am in ss's life and he adores me. I am making it work with a man she loved and couldn't save their relationship even after purposely getting knocked up...
so i greatly apologize because the true insecure pathetic woman this truly was directed at was the bm of my ss.
Apology accepted and I apologize too
because your answer to me slapped me in the face and all I could see was.... that thing... she doesn't even deserve to be called a woman... lol so I also went fuming mad thinking someone defended her in any way shape or form when I hope she's laying dead in a ditch somewhere.
So let me try to clarify my statement if I can. If a SM truly loves the skid and sincerely wants what is best for the child then it's fantastic. My perfect son's SM now is a super sweet lady and we have chatted many times on the phone and even had dinner together. I am very thankful for her. But on the flip side, as I'm a tabloid junkie in my spare time the quote I read is this from Gisele:
"I understand that he has a mom, and I respect that, but to me it's not like because somebody else delivered him, that's not my child," she says of John Edward Thomas Moynahan, who was born in 2007. "I feel it is, 100 percent. I want him to have a great relationship with his mom, because that's important, but I love him the same way as if he were mine."
As a SM I think that statement is kind of sweet and naive. As a BM that is also a SM I think she's full of crap. I dearly love my Skids, would do damn near anything for them, HOWEVER, I didn't carry those children, I didn't deliver them, and they aren't 100% mine, and even as bad as I REALLY REALLY REALLY hate their BM, I wouldn't publicly try to flaunt them as mine because being a BM myself who has been through crap, I wouldn't want her to feel like that.
With any celebrity I often wonder what the truth is, does she sincerely love that child or does she like the media sensation she became while toting the child around?
That's where my catch-22 comment came from. There's no right answer.
yes
I really wonder too, and i kinda think that Gisele was very naive and really didn't want to say the wrong thing, but in the end we all know she was pretty much screwed no matter what she said. I dont think what she said, in the way you quoted, was right of her to say, she did go a little far...
i know that i did hang out with many celebrities before i settled down and got boring, lol, and many of my friends were very mis quoted in the media.
for me, bm is not only insecure with me in the life of ss, but looks wise and status wise, she is very jealous of me...she tries to put us through hell because of these things, and i think its so sad because my ss is the one who is suffering from her crazy mind games she plays with him.
when fh and i first met, her first question to fh was, what kind of car do i drive? ummmmmmmmm, how about do i have kids? am i good with kids? ah, duh, if i were a mom thats what i would ask! I did think it was funny when he told her Mercedes though and she instantly went in to a hissy fit!
wicked
I'm not getting in the middle or defending anyone..but your most recent reply wasn't known (or at least not by me)..what I personally got out of the post where was at first you wrote that she toted him everywhere with her...(which seems to be a nice thing) and than it turned into she was satan without giving reasons why...I'm sure now that smnicki she will probably have a different view..but what happened to your son was not known in the original post.
The SAME thing basically happened with my daughter's 1st SM..she loved BD..took her everywhere..bought her things..did her hair,etc..than her father and her started fighting and she took it out on my BD. One time she pushed her out of her way and called her a "little bitch". Another time her father and her got in a violent altercation with my child sitting right there. At that point I said NO MORE...my daughter will NOT be going into that house and I actually got a restraining order on the SM on behalf of my child.
He is now with someone SOOO much better
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
Yes I should have been more clear
HOWEVER I don't think for one second that anything I said warranted the rant I got. I said it was a catch-22. I am a BM and I am a SM so of course I know both sides.
What surprises me most is that on THIS SITE of ALL places where people generally get some kind of acknowledgment that what they speak of in their own lives is truth that I would be jumped on. All of sudden I am judged that it was my insecurity? WTF is that about?
youre right
i like i posted, i felt you were saying that in the case of the bm in the original post.
in your case yes, you would have every right feeling you want to keep your bs from sm.
However, the judging comes from the fact that, i truly believe that many issues we live with as a sm stem from this exact insecurity, so to see a fellow st member defend such thoughts seems off to me.
quite often people on here are told when they are being insecure, for example kaff was told this many times and many members have posted to help her with the things that have been going on, but it was seen as constructive criticism....others are told to see things in the other shoe blah blah blah
i clearly exploded like a low class ranting crazy person all over this post, but in a more calm way, and with some tact, (if your situation was that of the couple mentioned in the original post) i do not think it would be out of line for a member to tell you that this is solely your insecurity and for the sake of your child you should handle this differently.
What I was mad about
was my coworker (childless) who just spat out "well now she can keep her hands off of Bridget's kid"..this same woman I'm sure if Giselle had abused little "Jack" would say that she should've loved him like her own and should not have married Tom if she couldn't..
It's a catch 22 with SM's .. your damned if you do, damned if you don't.
"He grew up in my heart, not my belly"
Why do BMs always think everyone wants their kids?
Clearly, barring any medical complications, if a woman wanted a kid, she would have her own. If she doesn't have one of her own, why would she want theirs? I always think it is kind of arrogant of a BM to assume that everyone wants their child!!! And Gisele just proved my point.!
"It's funny how dogs and cats know the inside of folks better than other folks do, isn't it?"
- Eleanor H. Porter (1868 - 1920), 'Pollyanna', 1912
I do think that Gisele wants Jack
in that she loves him very much, and is a valued member of her family with Tom. But she wants her own biological kids too. Her bios and Jack could be wonderful siblings to each other.
All 3 adults seem to be doing the right thing. I think that's what all parents, both bio and step, should do in blended family situations. We all have our insecurities as humans and that's ok. But the children shouldn't have to suffer any more than they already are. They didn't ask to be in this situation so we grown-ups at the very least should make nice to each other. We owe them that. It seems to me that Bridget, Tom and Gisele would agree with me on that. Jack is an adorable, happy baby. Children cannot receive too much love! He's happy, and that's what is most important!