You just described me. My independence is one reason I'm no longer with exDF. He thought I was joking about my deal breakers. Two of those issues came up and I ended the relationship. That happened 3 1/2 months ago and he's still trying to come back. Nope, sorry, but I don't need you in my life.

He told me several times while we were together, that I would not talk so much shit if I didn't have the ability to support myself. LOLOL

I'm very independent. So is DH, or I wouldn't have married him! I've had clingy boyfriends and they freak me out. I don't know that it's made me more vocal though. I suspect it's what made me "disengage" before I ever even engaged (or knew what that meant) though. Neither DH nor I EVER looked at the skids as in any way my responsibility, thank god! Not that we still didn't butt heads over crap sometimes (like the time he brought them to our house for visitation while they had lice for god's sake, we had a big fight that day). We may have disagreed, but at least I never felt taken advantage of or disrespected. Those, to me, are the true marriage-killers.

I think that's part of the problem around here.

You'll notice that the women who don't need any help keeping a roof over their heads, getting through life, they put up with a lot less shit (see Dtzy and her murdering of electronics) vs people who say they are desperate to escape and "can't".

I'm willing to bet that all the "can't"'s COULD do it but it would be really hard because they're not already in a position to fully take care of themselves. They could do it if they had the confidence in their ability to pull through but too many stay and take the abuse because they don't.

As for those of us who stay and deal with shit but could walk away and be fine? (In most cases, I'd guess BETTER since not one cent of ours would go to skids either directly or indirectly) We stay because we love the big ass and most of the time he makes it worth our while.

I guess I'm pretty independent. Financially I'm totally independent but psychologically less so. I want to stay married to DH, so I put up with things I wouldn't tolerate in a boyfriend.

I'd like to go out with my friends more, but spending time with DH when he has his kids is very important to him. I don't feel like pressing the issue since things have been rocky lately.

I'm extremely independent. I don't NEED him for anything however, I keep him around because he pays my mortgage which has enabled me to build up my savings tremendously. We don't have much of a relationship at all. We barely speak and I don't hesitate to voice my opinion about his kids. Lately though I've gotten to the point where I really don't care to voice my opinion anymore. I don't foresee them in my future, therefore it really doesn't matter to me how they turn out. As long as they are not under foot and don't get in my way, I'm cool with it 4-6 days a month.

The house is mine, purchased prior to meeting him, so I always have the upper hand. If he resents me (and I'm sure he does) tough shit. I resent the fact that I have to live with his kids every other weekend and endure the three of them melding into one collective emotionally deficient being.

Im very independant and a little but of a control freak!
Skids annoy me immensely and at present every week i am thinking of leaving as i dont need all this shit in my life.