How do you deal???
SS turns 4 today, but I am not so sure why BM had his party yesterday. Well they had a little party for him at school first, and DH was supposed to go but BM told him it would be today, somehow managed to change the day and "forgot" to tell DH about it. So SS calls DH yesterday afternoon and asks him to come to his house (BM's) and help him open presents, so DH goes and they open presents and that's when BM says that the party at school was yesterday. Well DH gets upset and asks why she didn't tell him and she says she did and blah blah blah it's over. So when he is leaving, SS asks DH to come later because they are cutting his cake and he wants him to be there. At first, DH says no but SS gets upset and so DH says he will be there. He drags FIL with him and they end up staying about an hour.
I know for a lot of people this isn't a big deal, and it seems like some BM/SM on this site are able to go to SK functions w the other parents and not have it turn into a huge thing, but it really hurt me. I am not w DH right now, and I won't be back until the 20th so it is not like I could have been there, but even if I had been in town I would NOT have been invited to BM's house. I understand that she doesn't like me and I have resigned myself to the fact that we will probably never get along, but it makes me feel so awful that she has been so awful to me and DH went to her house. I know that this is for SS, I know DH wanted to be there for HIM and it had nothing to do w me or BM and I know that he just wanted to make SS happy, so why don't I feel better? I tried to explain to DH why I felt so bad, but what could he really say that would make me feel better? Nothing. I just feel so blue 
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Comments
Um, no... BM changed his
Um, no... BM changed his party date at school and "forgot" to tell him. Your DH needs to put his foot down. That is just MEAN. I personally don't agree with going to the other parents house for Bday parties. I think if kids are unfortunate enough to have to come from a split family, that the least we can do for them is give them TWO birthdays. That is just my opinion. I would not have been pleased with this at all. Especially if this BM is disrespectful of you. SS can know that his dad loves him by his dad giving him his own bday party. It doesn't HAVE to be Dh going to BM's house. That's not a comfortable situation for anyone. Silly.
Thank you! I really felt
Thank you! I really felt like I was over reacting, and I know DH wants to be there for SS but why can't he be there for him at OUR house?? There wasn't much I could do since I wasn't going to be there this year, but next year I am definitely having out own party for SS and if DH wants to celebrate w SS, he can do it at our house. And the school thing WAS petty, esp since he paid 50% of the favors, cake and decorations for the school party!
That's just WRONG, you don't
That's just WRONG, you don't just "forget" to tell the other parent when you change something liek that. Complete PAS, seriously.
And like someone else said below, who says you have to be invited?? I am a firm believer in "if you invited me, it is understood that my spouse is coming too". Where I go, he goes, and vice versa.
You dont have to be invited!
You dont have to be invited! What's she going to do? Call the cops cause you brought over a gift/cookies/report card? Just act all sweet and innocent and have a little fun with it...and if the skid likes you (which is 98.9% of the battle) just focus on him. I also recommend looking amazing, being happy, and PDAs with hubby - nothing gross of course - but enough to make it clear who the alpha female is.
*yep*
*yep*
Believe me, I would work that
Believe me, I would work that like no body's business!! I have been excessively nice to her and I ALWAYS look better than her
, but I don't want to leave the door open for her to retaliate.