Well I lost the battle of the bday party. We are doing a joint bday party for SS5. I really didn't want to have a joint one because BM and I were not getting along. It was a few months ago that we had our huge falling out (not the first one either) and I haven't seen or spoken to her since. Now she is going out of her way to talk to me and is being really nice and helpful. I know not to trust that this will last. She is always the nicest right before a "storm." I on the other hand have a really hard time not being nice... to anyone. I always say that I am done being nice to her and that things will never go back to normal but, to her face, I cannot be any thing but nice. So, we are doing a joint bday party and we are even going early help out. I really wish I could just say the things that I think. I wish that I didn't care about what other people thought and I really wish that I could stick to my gut. I can't hold a grudge for the life of me... or at least I can show that I do. Inside I hold the grudge forever... but I pretend I don't to their face!!! Grrrrr I just really wish I could turn my shoulder on her and not ever worry about it again.