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We call it gaslighting

Wolfey's picture

Just a short list of the crap exH used to feed me about our situation. In situations of affairs they call this sort of thing gaslighting.Turning the situation to make it someone else's fault,basically creating a gasfire and make the distraction to keep the focus off the REAL problem...care to add yours? Smile

you just need to give her time to adjust

well maybe if you were more approachable she could bond with you

maybe she is so clingy to me because you intimidate her

she just wants to make sure i don't love you more than i love her.that's perfectly fair.

you will never be first.you will always be second to my daughter in ALL matters.

i love her mother and always will because she's the mother of my child.

boys and girls need to be loved differently that's why i'm softer with her than with your son.he needs a firm hand and she doesn't.

she's just shy

Comments

DASKRA's picture

Don't let her win.

Your only letting her win because she is getting to you.

You are stronger then that, the strongest person I know, don't let it get to you.

All you ever do is attack me

Wolfey's picture

yes,thankfully i was able to afford major surgery to have my jaw repaired...it was constantly dropping to the floor and eventually just stayed there til i got it fixed;-)

BSgoinon's picture

>>>>>>>>>>love her mother and always will because she's the mother of my child.

WHAAAAATTTT??? Oh heeelllll no! I have kids with my ex, but I do NOT love him. I love my kids. Him, I tolerate for THEM. LOVE??? No way, won't make that mistake again!

BSgoinon's picture

Reminds me of the time BM asked DH if he considered her a "friend". LMAO, he was living with me at the time and I was in the room when she asked him this (over the phone) his response: LONG LOUD LAUGHTER followed by a very short, direct "no". I love that man.

BSgoinon's picture

Oh, and this was the same conversation that she told him that that song "Cool" by Gwen Stefani was "Their song now". I had to pick myself up off the floor after that one.

hismineandours's picture

I can pull out some oldies. My dh doesnt do this anymore (so they CAN learn some things)but things he used to say to me years ago are:

You have to EARN his respect. (this is my all time favorite-REally, I have to earn a 7-8 year's old respect? And shouldnt this already be accomplished by the fact that I'm providing food, shelter, clothing, cooking for him, cleaning for him, helping him with his homework, taking him to all his extracurriculars and cheering him on, etc, etc, etc?)

I've also heard the-"he's just shy"-this about an ADHD, ODD boy that will talk to any stranger and to himself-just not me.