Hi I'm new to the site and came across it "looking" for some support.
I'm suffocating with my husbands adult children. They are 21,24,26 & 28. The 27 yo lives in NZ, 25 yo "travelling" and currently in Aus. 24 yo just started to rent own place with bf and 21 returned from travelling with bf and gone back to being "Princess" a name given to her by her sisters & brother.

I don't really know where to begin as it's been going on for so long. The crux of my angst is the fact that my husband called off the marriage as he wanted to do his "due diligence" to say that he "hasn't signed up for having me and my "kids" living with us and he was worried it would happen. I told him that if any of my 3 adult kids needed support then of course I would help them but he wasn't happy and needed lots of reassurance. I feel embarrassed to admit this because he sounds live a diva and I allowed it.

Long story short his ex wife suddenly announce she was leaving the area as going to live with new partner and renting out her home. Their kids used to flit between both their houses (we live in his house and mine is rented out) this has left me with no say in anything, as since we married 2.5 years ago we have had each of his adult kids live with us, not just them but they think it's ok to have their bf stay too. They don't  pay keep and even text dad to ask for specific "dinners" that he makes them when he finishes work. He loves this and loves his kids but I've had enough.
He used to even sit at the dinner table and twiddle his daughters feet after we'd eaten. I had to walk out of the room.

There's just so much I've put up with and I'm really finished with it all now - my own kids are independent and don't get a look in as I'm so swamped with my husbands kids when we get free time we do our own thing. The final straw is the youngest daughters bf testing positive for Covid whilst at ours and having to isolate (at ours as his mother is vulnerable 2 years after having treatment for BC)  however she is a PT and still has clients to the house to train, I don't understand how that works? This means I can't go back home as we were away when they announced it (my husband didn't tell me until we were nearly home from a weekend away. I have an 85 yo father to look out for and my 33 yo daughter has just had an emergency section and premature baby I am also helping to support - I was supposed to have baby over night on Friday/ Saturday while my daughter rested and now cannot do this at home.

I'm currently staying with my son and his gf so that I don't expose myself to Covid and although I'm double vaccinated I could pass it on. The only time I knew about the situation was when husband pulled up at Tesco's to pick up some Vimto his daughter had text him to buy on the way home from a 230 mile drive. Her bf does have parents and a home. When I asked husband why he hadn't told me he said what could he do? And if I wasn't happy with the situation I should "throw them out" he makes it sound as if that's what I wanted - I understand it's not their fault but the way he excludes me  feel I have no voice, we have no privacy and a shell of a marriage because of the complete absorption of his family.
 

Btw they are not a close family - it's just dad / daughters. Husband/his son/ his father/& brother all don't speak, and my husband seems to be the common denominator in it all. I'm really struggling, when his youngest came back from travelling having lived with her bf for 18 months funding themselves (with the odd few £100 sent from dad) around the world he had the conversation that this is a bolt hole and they need to get on their own 2 feet and rent a place if they want to be together. She blamed me and told her father she was stressed and can't cope and it was making her ill. He completely went to the other way and caved in. We are right back to square one.

Her own mother has bailed and said she wants to start "living her own life" she's left the strain of the fall out from this into us and me and it's breaking up our marriage- sorry for the rambling but there's just so much and I can't really find any starting point to try to even sort it. My husband won't sell the house yet as he says "we're not ready" to sell yet, we need our own space to be a married couple and to have privacy to start our married life that was supposed to start 2.5 years ago  - can anyone pls have any insight / ideas? Support - I'm at the edge of calling it a day