Do they really forget things that easy?
How do these parents fool themselves like they do? SS has now lived with us for about 5 months and is 17, going on 7, due to bad parenting on BM and DH part.
DH told me yesterday that SS called from his part time job and wanted DH to bring him his wallet that he forgot in his pants. And DH actually told him no. He needs to learn to be more responsible. I almost fell out of my chair.
Now normally, I do not say a word, because I am VERY dis-engaged. But sometimes my mouth overruns all else. Lol. I told him I was proud of him for finally making SS have some consequences to his actions. Because he has taken him his wallet, money, extra keys, at least 10 times to his job or school, because SS keeps up with nothing.
DH looks me straight in the face and says..”I have only had to go take him something he forgot one time in these 5 months. I had to LOL and said..”No honey, it really has been at least 10 times.” He vehemently denied it. SOOOOO, me and my mouth and good memory, pointed out all of the times that he stopped what he/we were doing to take SS his wallet, money, or extra key. He looked at me and said…”oh…I guess it has been several times huh?”
He REALLY had blocked out all of those times that he stopped what he was doing and ran to SS because SS forgot something. Does you other half do that with their kids? Do you do it with your kids?
I can definitely say that I don’t, if anything I am the exact opposite. They say I never forget anything and hold a grudge over smallish things. Lol.
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all the time.......... and
all the time.......... and i'm the bad guy for remembering..... like i remember on purpose to throw skids under the bus --- wtf? maybe i do ---hahahahaha
Happens ALL THE TIME with our
Happens ALL THE TIME with our SS17. Its incredibly frustrating to watch DH run around and do everything for ss17, and not teach him anything about responsibility or taking care of himself. I tried for years to help that, but I'm the bad guy when I do. So frustrating.
My Bf does that too...makes
My Bf does that too...makes excuses too. I think they actually block stuff out of their mind. His daughter will lie to your face....he really trusts her and thinks she is telling the truth. even if there is proof that she did it. He blocks it out and goes on.
"Your poor planning is not my
"Your poor planning is not my emergency."
No, I do not deliver forgotten things, and it started at very young ages. Had to retrain the skids. DH, BM, or Grandparents would jump whenever something was forgotten fearful that the skids would suffer consequences. Didn't matter if they left it here or at BM's. I told him that he will never teach them if they do not suffer the consequences.
It was hard for him to break the habit.. he eventually did. BM's parents were also on board with my thinking and quit. So did BM when she became the sole Sherpa. But that is why they do not remember...it is a habit and becomes second nature. The kids did suffer a few minor consequences--tell the violin teacher they forgot.. teacher scolds, forgotten athletic wear... coach sent them home from practice--show up when you can remember you gear... late homework was downgraded. Sometimes it takes a village.... hehehe.
Oh my goodness!! It sucks
Oh my goodness!! It sucks but I am glad my DH is not the only one that is like that.
I am in the same situation
I am in the same situation (kind of). My SD10 acts more like a 5 year old or younger. She is completely incapable of doing anything for herself. I dread the summer coming because when fiance is at work I am stuck watching her. She needs constant attention like an infant. I'm sorry but at the age of ten you can make your own breakfast and lunch and you will have some responsibilities and chores around the house. My fiance does not realize how him not parenting is really affecting this child. He also "forgets" when she has given me attitude or when he treats her like an adult or one of his friends versus a 10 year old little girl. Both her parents want to be friends to her rather than parents. Guilt parenting to the extreme. So I am trying really hard to practice detachment. But, yes my fiance does the same thing. I don't know what I am going to do about this summer. It drives me crazy that my fiance has to include the kid in every little decision making process in this house. I'm sorry when I was ten it was not a democracy and I did not have a choice over what time to go to bed and whether or not I wanted to do chores. I did because that was my role in the family. I pray my fiance realizes he needs to be a parent and not a friend to his 10 year old daughter. It is doing her absolutely no good!!!!
I'm in the same boat. Over
I'm in the same boat. Over the last few months, my SD has: forgot her house keys, left the key in the door overnight, forgot to turn off the heater, forgot to turn off the iron . . and the list goes on.
DH used to make excuses for her but now it's really starting to get on his nerves. He's starting to see the outcome of poor parenting because every week he has to "talk to her" about issues that have been discussed over and over again. We're starting to think there's something wrong with her. Oh and by the way . .she's 26.