Timeshare agreements
I have enjoyed reading everyone's posts. One theme I find puzzeling is timeshare/visitation agreements or lack thereof.
DH has a timeshare agreement with BM and they follow it to the second! BM is obessive about this schedule. Although she will drop the kids off 10-15 minutes late occasionally, if DH is 1 minute late she's out on the curb looking for them. The schedule has been the same for over 5 years. Can you imagine? She has arranged her own school schedule, her now new work schedule (she just finished nursing school (I didn't know they let new nurses dictate their own schedule!), kids appointments, vacations and anything thing else you can imagine around this schedule so that DH does not get one minute more than she is required to give according to the agreement.
My other confusion is all the decision making that goes on with transportation in all these posts. Their ageement for this is non-verbal but it goes like this...the parent that the children are leaving is the one to drop off or transport the children.
Can anyone help me understand why everyone else has such loose arrangements?
I have other questions about this topic, but might save them for a separate blog.
- Wicked2Three's blog
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Comments
Your Lucky
I hate all the bickering of times etc. See, I typed up the last agreement with DH and BM and I tried to have it all spelled out but them life happens. We have that to fall back on but like right now American quit flying into DAL so we now will have to go through DFW and airport wise that is a HUGE difference. I can't go pick up SD by myself with 3 other kids in DFW. Just won't do it. Too scary. So we have asked that this be considered and then have to be at the mercy of BM. Then there are times that she needs consideration as well. As much as she makes me angry I really do try to look at it from a human and mom perspective and always urge DH to do the same.
Previously my DH had the most vague plan in the world. Originally it said that he had SD on his two days off from work. That could mean anything and made it virtually impossible to enforce which BM knew and took advantage of.
You are lucky that you have such a rigid agreement to follow. I made sure that we basically do now but wow it sure wasn't before and it was a CONSTANT battle.
Creulla
The way my DH describes it...he was just chewing his arm off to get away from her.
I imagine the person who wants out and leaves will agree to anything just to get out. The problem I have with DH is that he really didn't think the schedule would be this permanant. OYE!
Our agreement is not loose
And it's that way for a reason. If BM was given any leeway, she would keep SS all she could and never give BF any extra time.
BF tried to arrange it to where BM had to meet him halfway on pick ups and drop offs but she absolutely refused. She said she didn't have the money to be driving that much (like we do?).
*~So sayeth Nymh~*
the mediator made it that way
it was tighter b4 we went back to court for all this bs due to her false abuse claims. the mediator left it this way after the GAL wouldnt allow the restrictions we wanted. now the agreement allows for even MORE communication and flexibility when we wanted less. fantastic how the court system works. also, transportation was shared b4 but now for some strange reason FH has to do it all. he has a few issues to bring up when they go back to court in july and that will be one of them. i always thought it was whatever parent is starting time picks up the kid.