WTF!!

So my husband has been out of town for nine weeks working. Here at home, I have our 3 BS 9, 7 and 5 and SS 13. The SS13 is special needs and is an exceptional challenge to care for. There have been major issues going on with SD20 and it has left me emotionally drained and on the verge of breakdown. I have kept up with the daily care of the boys and done the best I can. He just came home last night and he is on a tirade about how I do WHF I want and thats all!! Im pissed right now and just have to vent. He also brough up the ides of ALL the changes he wants to make begionning in the new year...like having both of our daughters feel welcome in our home. IM SO F'ing done with this crap. I have bent over backwards for the ;last 10 years to raise these girls. They were 12 and 8 when we got married and now they are 21 and 18. The 18 year old has a VERY toxic relationship with me. Anytime I talk to her, she spews venom galore. No wonder since my husband now doenst seem to give a f what I have done for her for the last 10 years. He has been in a hotel for nine weeks and is OUT OF TOUCH!!! No, I didnt get to ALL the things he wants me too, but I was here for the last nine weeks taking care of the family on my own!! I have disengaged with the Sd18 becasue she does not respect me and is constant venom!!

the wicked witch's blog
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Why do I have to feel a

Why do I have to feel a constant sick feeling in the pit of my stomach constantly. I WANT to have a good relationship with the 2 girls...It just isnt happening right now and their mom is being a total bitch and texting him all kinds of crap theat SS13 feeds her when he goes and visits on the weekend. Yes, he had to go outside and pick up trash in the dark with a flashlight. I was tired of his backtalk and he knew the consequesnces!!! She cant step up and raise him..she cant even bother to take vcare of herself. I HATE HER!!! SS13 LOVES the attention. He was 3 when I married DH and had reactive attachment disorder and ADd..he couls not even feed himself. She is a LOSER!!! ZI really hate that my DH doesnt stand up for me more with the adult skids...Its just stupid!!

My SD 21 had a baby Nov 6th

My SD 21 had a baby Nov 6th and I have seen her once since she came home from the hospital. SHe is holding the baby as emoptional ransom because she knows it will hurt me. And nw my husband lays all that crap in my lap. Heck..Im an emotional wreck becasue I WAS so excited to be a Grandma...not anymore, though. This has hurt just tto much!! I am even seeing a counselor to be able to deal with it all. If 10 years of me GIVING has not been enough, I MAY NEVER BE!!!

IM TIRED OF BEING THE ONLY

IM TIRED OF BEING THE ONLY ONE TRYING!!!!

The saddest part too is I

The saddest part too is I dont even want to fathom what Adam Lanza was thinking or feeling, yet I have felt so mad and frustrasted and upset and believed that NOBODY cares and just wanted to lash out and make somebody listen to me. I wonder if that is how he was. Thats a pretty deranged thought!!

Sweetie! Tell your DAH (Dumb

Sweetie! Tell your DAH (Dumb Arse Husband) that he has been off Planet *your address* for over 2 months he really hasn't got a foot in the door and he is giving you a hard time. 1) When he is out of town in future either his daughter or his ex can take care of SS13. Done. No argument. Or the alternative is DAH can take him with him on his workathon.2) The task you agreed to will now get done as you have help. 3) His daughters are more than welcome to visit him any time they want. It is not your fault if they CHOOSE not to come. After all, you are just human and don't have super powers that prevents them from coming. Sadly they are rude (must get that from their mother) and make nasty remarks. If they cannot hold the nastiness inside for a couple hours for thier father's sake then it is totally out of your hands.

GGGGGHHHH!! He just told me

GGGGGHHHH!! He just told me he is going to FIX the relationship between me and the girls...how is he going to manage doing that!! I am blocked off FB.. I just dont exist unless they need something. I dont even rate pictures or knowing when the baby was in the hospital. And now IIIIIII am the one who is supposed to suck it up and go over with him to see SD and the baby. I dont want to go if I am not welcome. I AM ALWAYS THE ONE REACHING OUT!!!! STICK A FORK IN ME!!

so according to DH, SD is

so according to DH, SD is waiting for an apology from me. An Apology for what. For wanting to be there, for trying too hard, for not giving her her way when she wanted it, for being hurt when she slammed the door whut on our relationship in a tantrum fir becasue I would not give her what she wanted. GIVE GIVE GIVE!! So, according to him now, Im the bad guy and of coarse his daughter vents to him that the is just waiting for an apology from me and wants to fix things. After a month of emotional torment, I dont know if Im ready to get back into a situation where I am so easily disposable and the one talked about behind my back. I have tried to just focus on the 4 boys I have at home, and now even that has not been good enough for DH!! UNSURE!!!!

It is diffult dealing with

It is diffult dealing with angry people. And I am sure she has made herself out to be the victim here. I would ask her father what you are to apologise for as you need specifics to put this into context. Did you slam her fingers in the car door and ignored her cries of pain? Did you knowingly feed her catfood? Did you tell everyone you know her baby looks like a chimpanzee? What are you specifically supposed to apologise for?

The reason I would want answers to this question in concrete terms and not wishy washy "Well SHE knows why she should!" is so you can separate fantasy from reality. If you know what you did wrong in specific terms then you can decide whether this all qualifies as an honest attempt to build bridges or just another attempt to drag you under.

If DH wants to play Henry Kissinger let him. He will work it out eventually when you act totally clueless for what you are to apologise. Somoene is messing with him and I suspect it isn't you.

My DH tried to blame me only once for his son not coming around. I called "BS" and reminded him he is perfectly able to have dinner with him away from our home. He is perfectly able to have a relationship that did not include me. After all, he had a relationship with him long before I came around. If that has all fallen by the wayside because I see through his crap then 'TBSS' (Too BAd So Sad)

So the SGrandbaby is now 2

So the SGrandbaby is now 2 months and my SD 21 is still holding her as emotional ransom. We had a wedding yesterday and a receptin and all I got from SD is a cold shoulder and disinterest. Actually, there are her cousin and her friend who were there always between us to "protect" her from me. I really hate these two young ladies. I really feel that SD might make better choices if she did not ENJOY having these two girls around to feed into her drama. The cousin is ALWAYS at the center of the family drama and THRIVES on it. The baby is being blessed tomorrow and I would like to be there, but I am SOOO tired of being hurt and rejected just becasue my SD is being an immature drama seeker!! My husband is OK if I dont go, but would rather have he there. I told him he can take BS 9, 7, and 6 and SS13 and I will get them all ready, but I dont want to be there is my SD doesnt want me there!! Its more than just a blessing..its confirming her a member of our church...why must they play these games???