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SS27 Autism and OCD are driving me crazy ...please dont judge..I just have to vent here...or I'm going to lose it!!

the wicked witch's picture

I have been married to my DH for over 13 years. When I married him, skids were 15, 12, 8, and 3. The oldest has severe autism and OCd.....and lives in a group home most of the time. We have him home for Holidays and as often as possible. I am venting right now so I don't go crazy. He is 27 years old and I a have a very short fuse when it comes to him lately. When he gets up in the morinig. Its I'm hungry. Where's my breakfast. I have to poop. Where's my spoon....EVERY SINGLE THING!! He knows what to do...but needs constant direction and re-direction . If we are watching a show as a family and have to stop for a minute, he throws a fit!! He obsesses over everything. I have been working on a scrapbook for him....hours and hours. I should not have even mentioned it to him..because he is hanging over me..are you done yet......constantly. He came Christmas eve and gows to his mom's today for a few days. I am giving him what is done..and take a break from working on it for a while...as his behavior has taken the enjoyment out of it for me. I have terrible anxiety and this OCD and behaviors have triggered me in a major way. Please dont think bad of me. I just have to vent here. We have 3 bios together, and I raised three of the other SKIDS as mine. The other SS also has ADD and some issues, so I am used to this, just over the top right now with the holidays. I cant even carry out a conversation with anyone without him getting into it. Im sorry..Im just frustrated right now and need to vent. I cant talk to my DH about it..but he knows I am frustrated too. Maybe taking on a project that has taken me hours and hours to do wasnt such a good idea. My intentions were and are good. I want him to have something to take with him to the group home...a full scrapbook. When I gave him what I had done...It was..."Thanks" I know he REALLY REALLY loves it...but I guess maybe my expectations were too high...my bad!!

Comments

the wicked witch's picture

Just a caviat here...It has been an ongoing issue that he needs to be encourage to do more for himself, but it has definitely been a challenge. He is high-functioning..and very smart. He is a really good boy and LIVES FOR his visits home. I love him to death, but I struggling to look past his obsessive behaviors right now that are triggering my anxiety and frustating me.

Bruniesmom's picture

As a mom with a child with Autism and a "hint" of OCD, I can sympathize. There are days that I just lose my mind. I have anxiety as well, and when it gets to much for me, (making my ears hurt), I just have her go to her room. I then go outside and rant so she can't hear me. When it comes to all of this, us parents of special needs kids aren't perfect. I can't imagine if my SS17 were also special needs. I think I'd really lose it!

No judging here. I'd offer wine, but in my case, it tends to make it worse, so I'm sending chocolate!

the wicked witch's picture

ha...wine is not an option here either..as we are LDS and dont drink. I have had to take my anto anx meds ....something I only do when my anxiety is triggered. Taken more with him here than usual. Sad..just how it is!! I just helped him re-pack his suitcase and bag..as he had just thrown all of his stuff in there crazily. I'm calmer now!

the wicked witch's picture

Oh..but when he leaves , my SS16 comes back from his moms. He has ADD....and is quite impulsive. Did I mention that BS12 also has ADD....LIFE!!!

Bruniesmom's picture

YES! Clevergirl, my DD9 drives me up the wall with "PONY!" or "KITTY!" Just one word. No sentence or anything. Or repeating, that one is crazy, too! I redirect her by telling her that it's not a sentence, with the one word thing, or that she needs to find a new topic when she goes on and on about Rainbow Dash!

I just have to remind myself that she hasn't learned how to completely control it, and not get upset with her. Tho' I will admit, there are days that I do. Eh, I'm human.

BTW, Wicked, the only way that you made a mistake on taking on the project is telling him too soon. But, you were excited! With his OCD, he is going to love on that scrapbook so much. That really was a great thing to give him!!