Reddit post
I just read a post from a SM who had two SSs who basically made it clear to her they disliked her and would never accept her. The BM of course supported SSs alienation of the SM and SKs never once attempted to have any kind of relationship with SM.
Fast forward the BD passes away, SM and BD shared a business so she became full owner of the business and also had a life insurance policy. Out of the kindness of her heart she did share the life insurance with SSs but BM spent all the money on herself.
Now as adults SSs are demanding money from SM claiming they are owed and need the money for college.
Of course SM is refusing to give them any more money but in-laws are siding with SSs.
I completely side with the SM in this one. When you have to deal with SKs who go out of their way to make your life miserable solely because you chose to be in a relationship with OP. Then they reap what they sow, you owe them nothing.
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The SM should have put the
The SM should have put the money into a trust for the skids...why hand it over to the BM?
It probably didn't occur to
It probably didn't occur to her that their mother would blow it all. She was probably grieving the death of her husband and wanted to have as little to do with his sons' family as possible. Handing money to BM directly is cheaper and less hassle than setting up and maintaining a trust fund for the hateful little shits.
The in-laws can pay for SSs'
The in-laws can pay for SSs' college, it is certainly not SM's place or obligation. Had BD wanted to pay for their college or leave them money, he could have had a separate life insurance policy with them as beneficiaries.
They should go to the BM, who spent the money that SM did share.
What SM should have done with the money that she wanted to share, was put it into an account that only she could get to, to dole out as SHE saw fit to/for the SSs.
Are we surprised the in-laws
Are we surprised the in-laws are taking the side of their grandkids? Does this SM have children that are also their grandchildren? If not, then tell them to pound sand. If she does have children with her DH, she should still tell them to pound sand, but more nicely.
Ideally, she and her late H should have talked about this kind of thing and made plans.
This is why I have told my
This is why I have told my husband not to expect me to give my SD any money in the event of his death. If he wants her to have money then he needs to clearly set that out in his estate planning. I will not be put in the position of having to work out what is "fair" and being persuded and guilt tripped for more funds.
We just had that discussion
We just had that discussion too. Thankfully, my DH would come back and haunt me if I did give SS money.
Same, here. My DH knows that
Same, here. My DH knows that his daughter does not deserve anything that he/we worked for. She is 30 years old and does NOTHING. Has no desire to do anything.
I have a friend in a same sex
I have a friend in a same sex marriage who has a daughter who is similar to your SD. He is thoroughly ashamed of the fact that she lives off the system and has never worked. His husband is about 15 years younger than he is (husband is 55 and friend is 70 and they've been together for 35 years). when they bought their house, they put it in the husband's name only because my friend does not want his daughter to have any claim on anything he worked so hard for all his life.
No surprise that the biomum gets a free pass
From spending all the money and evil stepmum is expected to be responsible. Big question here should be the family and ils asking biomum "what the hell you did with allthat money and not invest in college??"
if the ss's willingly gave it to their biomum as adults, well they're idiots!!
Oh what sub is this in? AitA?
Oh what sub is this in? AitA? Please do share a link!
As others have said I told my DH clearly spell out who is getting what because BM and SD will come demanding anything that isn't clearly spelled out. I full expect BM and SD to try to get our house. My DH bought it on his own shortly before we married but I have always contributed and helped with upgrades and such, in his will he says it goes to me.
Once SD14 is 18 I'm going to remind him to change his life insurance beneficiary, he isn't required to keep SD on it anymore. As of now SD and I would split it. BM tried to get him to have her and SD split it... So basically it would be hers 100% and DH shut her down saying it was for SD and HIS WIFE not for her.
I also give this advice to anyone writing a will, be explicitly clear what you want done with your assets, don't expect people to be fair and civil.