The child lives in another country and he only sees her once a year, so at the moment it shouldn't affect your lives on a daily basis. It sounds like he has little to do with the bm as well, which in step situations is a good thing as many people on here have their lives made hell by bm's. Obviously he is going to want contact with his daughter and the financial support will continue till she's an adult. Anyone who marries someone with kids has to accept that the kid will always be part of their spouse's life and needs to respect that there will be times when their spouse will spend time having contact with their kid. If it were a case of him spending so much time on the phone/computer with her that it was affecting your "couple" time, then I think your worries about being neglected would be justified, but it doesn't sound like that is the case. It's not a case of "sharing" your husband with his daughter as that sounds like there's some kind of competition going on for his attention and that's not a healthy way to start a marriage.
You have to be prepared for the possibility that she may want to come and stay with you at some time and if that were to happen, you and your husband would need to agree some ground rules and boundaries before she came, ie who is going to look after her, how might you deal with difficult behaviour etc. If it were me, I would try to see it as a positive thing that he was getting to spend time with his child, something which would probably make him very happy, and that it would be a good way of them developing a relationship and getting to know each other. On the other hand, you also need to be prepared for the possibility that things may not go smoothly and she may be unhappy/rude/badly behaved etc. You don't need to try to be a parent - that is his and bm's job, but you will need to be willing to support him and understand that while his daughter may not mean a lot to you, she does mean a lot to him and always will. That doesn't mean he sees her as a priority over you, and he can love and care for both of you in different ways.
One other thing you need to think about is what if something happened to the bm? If she were to die, what would be the chances of the child coming to live with you full time? Unlikely I know, but it does happen.
If you're 100% sure that he's the right man for you and you love and trust him, it would be a shame to give up the chance of a happy marriage just because of "what ifs". If you really love each other and are able to talk about things, your relationship should grow with time and hopefully your worries will ease. Just give him space to have a relationship with his daughter and don't see him spending time talking to her as an evening spent neglecting you or it will never work.
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The child lives in another
The child lives in another country and he only sees her once a year, so at the moment it shouldn't affect your lives on a daily basis. It sounds like he has little to do with the bm as well, which in step situations is a good thing as many people on here have their lives made hell by bm's. Obviously he is going to want contact with his daughter and the financial support will continue till she's an adult. Anyone who marries someone with kids has to accept that the kid will always be part of their spouse's life and needs to respect that there will be times when their spouse will spend time having contact with their kid. If it were a case of him spending so much time on the phone/computer with her that it was affecting your "couple" time, then I think your worries about being neglected would be justified, but it doesn't sound like that is the case. It's not a case of "sharing" your husband with his daughter as that sounds like there's some kind of competition going on for his attention and that's not a healthy way to start a marriage.
You have to be prepared for the possibility that she may want to come and stay with you at some time and if that were to happen, you and your husband would need to agree some ground rules and boundaries before she came, ie who is going to look after her, how might you deal with difficult behaviour etc. If it were me, I would try to see it as a positive thing that he was getting to spend time with his child, something which would probably make him very happy, and that it would be a good way of them developing a relationship and getting to know each other. On the other hand, you also need to be prepared for the possibility that things may not go smoothly and she may be unhappy/rude/badly behaved etc. You don't need to try to be a parent - that is his and bm's job, but you will need to be willing to support him and understand that while his daughter may not mean a lot to you, she does mean a lot to him and always will. That doesn't mean he sees her as a priority over you, and he can love and care for both of you in different ways.
One other thing you need to think about is what if something happened to the bm? If she were to die, what would be the chances of the child coming to live with you full time? Unlikely I know, but it does happen.
If you're 100% sure that he's the right man for you and you love and trust him, it would be a shame to give up the chance of a happy marriage just because of "what ifs". If you really love each other and are able to talk about things, your relationship should grow with time and hopefully your worries will ease. Just give him space to have a relationship with his daughter and don't see him spending time talking to her as an evening spent neglecting you or it will never work.