last night was our appointment with Therapist. DH said he didn't want to go because while he had formulated "the plan" in his head, he hadn't yet spoken about it to ASS. I told him that having the plan was good enough and this way we could run it by Therapist to see if it was good to go or needed to be tweaked a little bit.

Here is the plan -

Option 1 - go to college, which will involve ASS taking out loans and DH contributing what will amount to about 1/3 of the cost.

Option 2 - if he wants to live at home after graduation, he will have to work 40 hours a week, pay rent and follow the rules of our house. If he wants to eat our food, live in our house, use our utilities then he must follow the rules (this will NEVER HAPPEN, which is why I am okay with this being in there).

Option 3 - move out within 90 days of graduation with no help from us. He will have to find his own place to live and DH will not contribute one penny towards his living expenses. If ASS would like to take a certain online 10 week class that DH knows about so that ASS can have a certification in SEO/Internet Marketing, DH will pay for that, but it must be taken over the summer. If ASS does not take advantage of the three months to save money, figure out work and living situation, too bad, so sad and natural consequences will take over.

DH will talk to ASS on Friday morning (the skids are off school and DH has the day off) and ASS has until April 1 to make his decision. If ASS does not give his answer on April 1, option 3 will be his answer.

I wanted 60 days after graduation, okay, I actually wanted 1 day after graduation, but I agreed to 90 days because that's what he would get if he was heading off to college. I also agreed because it's really important to DH to try to get ASS ready for the outside world.

Now, ASS will not take advantage of anything that DH is offering, and DH will see for himself that ASS will do what ASS will do regardless of anything else.

DH told Therapist that he knows ASS will probably leave soon after graduation, but at least this way, DH can say that he gave ASS options and ASS will be the one to make a decision.

I am happy because DH came to this conclusion all on his own, without me having to be the psycho bitch wife Granted, it took him waaaaaaaaaaay longer than it would the average bear to get there, but he got there, and that's good enough for me.