I have a 12 yr ss who I have helped raise since he was 1yr old. I have ALWAYS treated him as if he is my own, but am told constantly by bd that I am not. This goes with out saying, I know this and would NEVER try to take real moms place. His bm let father have custody do to her instability. She has moved around and had many boyfriends in and out of my ss's life. In the last 3 years she is around a whole lot more and really steppinng up. My husband and I have always been the constant.