You are here

Step daughter super emotional

Virgo85Nurse's picture

So recently my SD has been super emotional. She usually is and this comes in waves. But now she's got her period at almost 11. The last weekend we had her I swear she cried 4 times a day about anything. And most of the time she would ramble on about 5 different things she was crying about at one time. Well the next weekend we got her again and she started crying at my sons birthday dinner the minute we got there. Said she was uncomfortable. I asked about what and she said there were too many people at the restaurant. She's never said that at any restaurant. So I comforted her and assured her it was fine. We sat down to talk and order. Then she gets all shy acting and says she doesn't know what to eat and starts tearing up again. So we finally agreed she could eat the nachos. Then she wants the fried pickles so we let her order some. We know she gets a little jealous anytime one of the other kids gets attention for anything. I'm two seats down from her because it's a huge long table and her dads on the other side of me and my sisters are sitting next to her. They love her and she loves them. Well as we start eating and my sons starting to open presents she comes and sits at a tall table behind me. As we continue with the party she squats down behind me and says she has cramps. Mind you her period should have been gone by now. Continues to cry on and off because she hurts and doesn't feel good and wants to go home. I told her we weren't ending the party and offered her some motrin which she didn't take but continued to complain. She ate all her pickles and none of the nachos. By the end of the party she's fine and as we leave she's joking with the boys in the back of the car. By the time we get home she pouty again because she says she's now hungry. She ate the whole order of fried pickles and some of my chips and queso but none of her nachos and proceeds to eat spaghetti o s and a cupcake. Now she starts complaining the next morning about cramps because we're all getting ready for family pictures and I'm trying to work with our 3 year old. Later that day we dropped her at her moms who of course wasn't home. She's been gone a week to the mountains with the grandma and 3 month old baby because she needed a mommy vacation and to get out of town and had been gone a week. SD starts crying again in the car because her mom wasn't coming home because she "had to stay another day to Christmas shop". I'm starting to think this whole weekend was to get attention. I know her mom was gone and my some got attention at his birthday dinner with family. She doesn't beg my husband for attention like that often. She only wanted me this weekend. Yet her mom says she hates me. Then again when I emptied the kids trash can this weekend there were no feminine products in the trash anywhere so her period must have been gone. I'm at a loss what to do and how to handle some of these situations. My husband tries and it usually backfires when she does this. We generally only have her every other weekend and it's hard. We can't give her all the attention just because she's here it's not fair to the other kids. When we ask the kids what they want to do we alternate when the big kids are home on the weekends because I too get my son the same weekends. I have him the rest of the week to and his dad gets him every other weekend and every other Tuesday night. So my son shares his weekend time with me too. I just don't know how to handle her outbursts anymore. She's talking to a counselor as well. I'm at a loss

Comments

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Next time, alert your DH to the fact that SD is sick.  Have him take her home and put her to bed with a hot pad and no food.  If she has stomach cramps that bad she belongs in bed.

It'll be annoying for your DH to miss the party but you can be sure that SD won't try to get attention this way again.

Virgo85Nurse's picture

We try not to give in when she does this but my husband didn't want to do that to my son and make him upset leaving because she does this often

TheAccidentalSM's picture

You and your son stay behind and enjoy the party.  If your son is upset at them leaving, keep the explanation simple:  SD wasn't feel that well so she's gone home.  Play it as if she is being considerate to his big day by leaving early rather than creating a drama to take the attention away from him.

AgedOut's picture

The next big birthday or other celebration, one that isn't centered on her, make sure to take two vehicles and Dad can take her home and tuck her into bed with a heating pad, two motrin, and a nap. 

TheAccidentalSM's picture

Great minds think alike  *ROFL*

Virgo85Nurse's picture

My husband didn't want to give in but maybe next time this would have to happen. However like I said there were no feminine products in the trash all weekend. I don't believe she was still on her period. 

Virgo85Nurse's picture

My husband didn't want to give in but maybe next time this would have to happen. However like I said there were no feminine products in the trash all weekend. I don't believe she was still on her period. 

caninelover's picture

Agree with others that suggest taking her home.

Regarding the fake period pain, I assume she's seen a doctor but barring any medical concerns there should be a rule - if she's not feeling well she should be sent to her room and lie down.  Remove her from being the center of attention.  She'll get tired of that eventually.

 

simifan's picture

I'm sure some of this could be hormone related. I hated that age, SD would sometimes break out into tears & couldn't even tell you why. If she has cramps, try a magnesium supplement rather then motrin.

If this is new behavior & she just got her period give her a few months to sort it out. It is entirely possible its attention seeking but she may just we working through the hormone changes and what not. I know I went to great lengths to hide when I got my period because I got it early (9) & no one else had theirs. I felt weird about it & was super paranoid. Stomach gurgles - must be my period - not the bag of chocolate cookies i ate. :-), afraid I was going to "Carrie" when I was out or in school - running to the bathroom checking every 10 minutes when I felt a twinge, that type of thing.