is it normal
Hi. BF lives with me with a 10 yr old and 7 yr old. Both adhd and with behavior issues. both "special needs" and have multiple issues in school. Needless to say I feel like terrible person because I dont love these kids period. 7 yr old is loud hyper doesnt mind has ODD and still poops in his panbts. MOST recently 10 yr old told my 9 yr old bio daughter to "suck" his "wee-wee". he is also aggressive when he does not et his way. I told my bf the kids had to go I just cant do it anymore! Did I overreact.?
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Is what normal? These kids'
Is what normal? These kids' behavior? No. Your frustration with them and upset with him saying that to your daughter? Yes.
Where will his kids go? Maybe he should go, too, since his lousy parenting is undoubtedly part of the problem.
is statements like this
is statements like this normal for 10 year old boy?
Kids today know a lot, so it
Kids today know a lot, so it's not necessarily abnormal for him to say that - but it's in the context of a lot of bad behavior on his part, so you can't just take that alone. And he should be disciplined for saying it.
I dont think he really
I dont think he really understood what he was talking about but honestly i,m just scared as he continues to grow that there is chance hormones will get best of him and he doesnt seem to be able to control impulses so therefore I dont want my kiddo around him
NO!!!!!!!!
You certainly didn't over react. You should kick his ass to the curb because he is a lousy parent. If the BM is still in the picture she will no doubt call CPS on him and you have a danger of losing your child.
RUN!!!
unfortunately BM doesnt seem
unfortunately BM doesnt seem to care. To her they are "perfect" children which is understandable from a mom that never sees them. His solution is to send boys to the BM to live there but thats gonna take some time to transition schools its a loose loose situation
Honestly, I wouldn't have a
Honestly, I wouldn't have a lot of respect for a man who just sends his kids away when the going gets rough. How about he parents them? Does he intend to see them at all?
yes he says "I need to get on
yes he says "I need to get on my feet". I think Ive lost all compassion and will for this relationship. I,m just trying figure out if I just take in consideration that this little boy has not been taught limitations. But at same time I think his issues are only going to get worse and the stress of it all is not something I'm game for even if hes there weekends only type thing. Living with their BM is not best option. It saddens me for the kids but their issues are too much. Im seriously considering cutting it off but BF has nowhere to go and struggling to make ends meet
"He has nowhere to go and is
"He has nowhere to go and is struggling to make ends meet."
You are not responsible to help this grown @ss man make ends meet. Your #1 job is to protect your children. Your daughter should NOT being asked questions like that in her home. Hell to the no.
It is normal for 7 year olds
It is normal for 7 year olds to be loud. It is normal for kids with ADHD to be hyper. It is not normal for 7 year olds to still poop their pants. But you said these kids are both ADHD, one is ODD and they both have special needs. So they're NOT "normal."
Regardless of special needs, it is not normal for a 10 year old boy to tell a 9 year old girl to suck his wee wee, and it is not acceptable. If things like this are going on, this isn't the right environment for your child. However, it isn't realistic to tell your BF that the kids have to go. What kind of father abandons his kids? Maybe the solution is to live apart and date until his kids improve or are out of the house Or maybe the solution is to end the relationship. I wouldn't be excited about being in a relationship with a guy who was willing to abandon his kids. I also wouldn't be excited about dating and living apart until the kids are out of the house, because kids like this may never launch. Sometimes love isn't enough and you just need to let the relationship go.
Yeah he isnt stable himself
Yeah he isnt stable himself right now. Thats why he wants to send kids to BM so he can get stable. I told him I felt he was abandoning he said he couldnt handle his own kids right now. It is over all a mess. I feel so guilty Ive tried my best to be supportive of him and his kids. I know ADHD makes them challenging more than "normal" child but I just feel I cant handle it and fear issues will only get worse. I think I was hoping he would choose his kids and I can move on. Since he doesnt seem to think hes capable of that, what now??
You can end the relationship.
You can end the relationship. You aren't limited to getting out of it only if he breaks up with you or chooses his kids over you. Even if the kids go to BM, chances are they come back. And then you'll have just wasted more time in a bad relationship. And what does he mean by "stable?" Mental, financial, something else?
Your daughter deserves better
Your daughter deserves better than to have to live with these people and it's YOUR responsibility to get her out of this environment.